Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Cikgu Tam My Grandmother




My grandmother asked me the same question "Ann baru balik kerja ka ni?" every 3 minutes and I would keep on giving the same answer everytime "Ya Tok".

Tok is about 84 years old now. She stays in bed all the time but still has the strenght to attend to her every other calling to the loo. She stays with Pak Ngah and family and I could never thank them enough for taking care of Tok.

There must be a reason why Allah takes some of our memories away when we grow old. How would we feel waking up at 80 to find that most of our friends have either passed away or bedridden. How would we feel knowing that our favourite grand daughter didn't turn up to visit us last week ? Its good that Tok forgets sometimes as there are things that might upset or hurt her had she finds out. Not that we should take advantage of that but acknowledging the way of life and its rule would at least make us feel less sorry for them.

:-|



Sunday, February 01, 2009

Amni



Ni hah budak yang tanya aku:-

Kak Ann ni kaya ke sederhana ?



Thursday, January 29, 2009

I m Not Afraid To Stand Alone



Why cant we promote more of this to the Muslim teenagers ?

try to find their other song "Intentions"

pasti menusuk


:-|

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Ask And You Shall Be Given

The power of asking



I never knew,

that if you're lucky,

 your room can be upgraded to a better one

just by asking !


(",)


Apakah Ertinya Ini ...?


Berjalan dengan membawa beg perjalanan
bersama beg tangan lagi

Tidak membawa backpack





Nasib baik tidak memakai kasut bertumit tinggi



Agaknya sudah sampai masa aku semakin matang dan dewasa


:-P

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Doa Kami Bersamamu


Rembulan Menangis

Rembulan menangis
di serambi malam..
Intan buah hatimu dicabik tangan-tangan serigala

Bintang-bintang muram,
beku dalam luka ..
Untukmu saudaraku kami semua turut berduka

Lolong burung malam di rimba
melengking menyayat jiwa
Tangis kami pecah di batu
duka kami remuk di dada
Doa kami bersama-sama untukmu,
untukmu

Angin pun menjerit
badai bergemuruh..
Semuanya marah
hanya iblis terbahak, bersorak


Lolong burung malam di rimba
melengking menyayat jiwa
Tangis kami pecah di batu
duka kami remuk di dada
Doa kami bersama-sama untukmu
untukmu, untukmu, untukmu, untukmu

Ebiet G Ade


Apa yang kita sudah lakukan untuk membantu mereka ?

:-|

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Apakah Bedanya .....?


Semuanya kan tetap sama

:-|

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Monday, January 05, 2009

How Much Do You Value Yourself

Sometimes I wonder how much do we really value ourselves ? Or do we even care to make evaluation of ourselves to find out our strengths and weaknesses. Trying to see ourselves from another point of view, comparing with others, to see the goodness in them so that we can learn to be more like them, and to also see their weaknesses so that we can check whether we also have the same traits in us and at the very least learn from their flaws.

Or maybe sometimes by doing this evaluation process we may find out that maybe we have over rated or undervalued our selves. Perhaps we have given too much credit for ourselves more than we deserve. Or may be we think too small of ourselves when we do actually have some potentials that we never bother to discover.

When we think too highly of ourselves we may lead ourselves to being arrogant overconfident conceited ... and people may not like that

But when we are so timid and think so small about our abilities, people may never see the potentials in us and if they are not nice they may step on you too .....

I hope to be able to asses more of myself and my potentials this year so that I may be a better person than before.

Selamat Maal Hijrah dan Selamat Tahun Baru

:-)

Happy Belated New Year


Blessed is the man who always kept the life after death in his view,
who remembered the Day of Judgment through all his deeds,
who led a contented life and who was happy
with the lot that Allah had destined for him

Imam Ali AS

:-|

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Secret Recipe, I Aint Going For Your Cheesecake No More


 Yeehaaaa ... !

:-)

Kamu Percaya Bunian ?


Kalau kamu percaya Bunian ...

Adakah kamu juga percaya 'tahi' nya ....???





:-P

Apabila Anis Marahkan Kassim Selamat


Bila Anis baca entry pasal Kassim Selamat hari tu, dia terus jadi marah.

Untuk membuktikan bahawa pemain biola bukan bodoh seperti Kassim Selamat yang menggarpukan matanya itu, adik aku yang satu itu terus membeli biola dan mendaftarkan diri ke kelas musik.

Nanti kalau bakal ibu mertua Anis menjerit marahkan lelaki yang pilih Anis, 

Siapa Anis Awatif tu ???!!!
....lawyer ???!!! majistret ..???!!!

.... aku tak taulah bakal adik ipar aku tu nak jawab apa....

:-p

But My TV Is Too Small For My Game


I am a believer that the idiot box should not be the main star of a home. I always do. I dont want the box to get all the attention. It should be last in anyone's list of priorities when designing the interior of a house. That is why I didnt put the TV in the living room.... and thats why I bought a small one .... (never mind the tight budget reason)

But now .. since I ve been playing PS2 Cake Mania .... I am starting to think that the TV is too small for me to see the CAKES !

At times I cant even figure out what type of cakes the customers are asking ......

Sheshhh.....


ps: Even Hadie refuses to watch movies with my TV ... she said her laptop screen is much bigger than my TV .... !


Friday, December 26, 2008

True Colors

You don't get to see the real color of a person unless and until something happens.

And when things happen and the person shows you his real color, you get surprised and you baffled as to how come this person is behaving this way.

I guess its not that he has changed or anything. But you think he HAS changed because of the new circumstances or situations. The person now who you think has changed is the exact same person you've known before. He has never changed. Its just that there's a part inside of him that never got to the surface because the situations for that particular behaviour to submerge never arise.

Sometimes the signs were already there. The signs of some of his true colors. But we just ignore and chose to close one eye. The reason being, because we know we are not perfect either and we have our own flaws and rainbows of characters that never get to the stage too.

The thing now is if the colors are shown by the person, do we have the generosity to accept them ?


:-\

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Bercakap Sendiri (Bukan Seperti Min)

Adakalanya kita merasa tidak begitu selesa dengan sesuatu keadaan
namun kita tidak mampu berbuat apa-apa apatah lagi untuk merubahnya
Ada hati yang perlu dijaga walau jiwa sendiri sangat tidak mampu menerimanya

Cuba untuk memberontak, tapi kita bukan lagi remaja
Hari-hari memberontak bukan lagi milik kita

Menjadi dewasa memang bukan yang menyenangkan
ada masa kita terpaksa menelan dan menghirup semua
sambil menahan diri daripada meluah dan/atau memuntah

Rasa yang benar di dalam hanya mampu disimpan semat di dada

Ada kalanya batasan ugama dan adat membuat dan memaksa-maksa kita rasa bersalah
dengan perasaan dan rasa kita sendiri,

lalu kita pun lebih mudah menghakim diri sebelum orang lain menghukum


:-|

Monday, December 15, 2008

Min

Masih ingat entry dulu bila si aku ditegur seseorang yang membuatkan aku rasa aku begitu muda ? Nama jejaka itu Min. Aku tahu namanya pun daripada mulutnya sendiri yang membahasakan dirinya sebagai Min.

Min bukanlah orang yang asing di sekitar kawasan ofis aku dan Pekan Rabu. Badannya agak gempal berambut lebat pendek dan agak berkerinting. Yang membuat dia agak menarik perhatian ialah kerana Min agak 'lembut' dan seksi. Seksi kerana t-shirt yang dipakainya akan digunting luas hingga menampakkan kedua-dua bahunya. Dan Min juga berjalan melenggang sambil bercakap seorang diri dengan satu beg plastik di tangannya.

Setelah beberapa minggu selepas sapaannya yang pertama itu, kami bertemu lagi. Kali ini kami berjumpa di tempat parking kereta ketika aku baru sahaja hendak melangkah keluar dari kereta. Min sedang berjalan menuju ke arah Masjid Zahir bila tiba-tiba dia terlihat aku dan terus menegur.

Kakak kan yang bagi kat Minduit hari tu ?

Aku hanya sekadar tersenyum dan mengangguk kepala

Tiba-tiba dia datang menghampiri aku yang masih lagi berada atas kerusi kereta. Sambil tertunduk-tunduk dengan meletakkan tangannya di atas lututnya Min bertanya serba sedikit pasal kerja aku dan tempat kerja aku. Kemudiannya Min meminta aku membawanya pergi ke Ipoh.

Kak, jomlah bawa Min pi Ipoh. Jomlah kita pi Ipoh ...

Sambil ketawa aku katakan pada Min

Eshh nak pi Ipoh buat apa...? Orang ada kerja nih ....

Adalah sebabnya Kak..
Min tak boleh nak habak .....
Jom lah ....
(dengan gaya agak sedikit gedik dan manja)

Min begitu beria-ia mengajak aku ke Ipoh. Agak sedikit mengada-ngada dan melentuk liuk cuba bermanja dan memujuk aku. Setakat mengajak aku ke Ipoh bukanlah begitu memeranjatkan aku bila dia kemdiannya telah melangkah agak jauh :-

Kak ambiklah Min jadi adik angkat Kak ... !!
Ambikla....

Aku terkedu dan tidak berkata apa-apa dan berfikir mengapalah benda-benda macam ni terjadi kepada aku...? Tidak pada Noora atau Hadie ataupun adik aku..... Aku rasa aku tidak perlu jawab permintaan 'gila'nya itu. Jika aku respon, pastilah aku juga seperti dia.

Bila melihat aku diam, Min meminta pula pada aku sedikit wang. Tanpa banyak soal aku pun memberikannya RM2. Min mengambil wang tersebut dengan terseyum sambil menjelaskan padaku:-

Kak, kak tau dak Min memang kena pi Ipoh ni...
Sebab depa kata Min tak boleh duduk sini dah.
Depa kata kalau Min dok sini Min nanti kena SULA



Aku rasa ada laaaa tu sapa-sapa yang usik bagi tau kat dia, sebab PAS dah perintah Kedah orang macam dia nanti kena sula.....

Min .... Min ..... Mudahkanlah hidupnya Ya Allah .

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Siapa Kassim Selamat

Menyukai atau membenci...sebenarnya sangat peribadi dan begitu 'personal'. Ia tiada pernah ada kaitan dengan karakter asal seseorang.

Kamu benci seseorang kerana dia mungkin pernah menyakiti kamu walaupun akan ada ramai orang yang akan mempertahankan orang yang kamu benci itu dengan mengatakan dia sebenarnya baik

Kamu suka seseorang juga kerana ia ada kepentingan bagi kamu. Walaupun orangnya memang dibenci dan dihina orang, tetapi oleh kerana dia baik dengan kamu, kamu tiada masaalah dengannya.

Sebab itu kadang kita lihat dan tertanya-tanya mengapa seorang gadis sangat sayangkan seorang lelaki yang semua orang ketahui adalah seorang yang kita rasakan sangat tidak berguna. Kita akan cepat terus menghukum gadis itu atas kebodohannya yang kita rasakan sangat jelas memilih lelaki yang menjadi sampah masyarakat. Tetapi pada satu sisi yang lain kita tidak tahu betapa si sampah masyarakat itu lah yang selama ini yang berdiri teguh di belakang gadis itu, yang menerima dirinya seadanya, yang menjadi pendengar setia si gadis, yang berada di sisinya di saat si gadis sangat memerlukan.

Memang lelaki yang tadi itu tidak akan menjadi menantu pilihan, tetapi jika sekiranya dia datang meminang dengan membawa sebuah kereta yang hebat dan kemudian sering menghulur wang yang banyak kepada bakal mertua, pastilah bakal mertua tidak lagi akan memandang serong padanya kerana lelaki itu sekarang juga berkepentingan secara 'personal' dengan bakal mertua.

Seperti juga cerita Ibu Mertuaku yang bencikan Kassim Selamat. Yang dia marah bukan sebab Kassim Selamat tu "ahlil musik" per se. Dia marahkan sebab imej yang Kassim Selamat bawa kepadanya yang dia rasa amat memalukan bila bermenantu lelaki yang bukan Lawyer atau Magistrate. Ibu Mertuaku sebenarnya hanya pentingkan diri dan imejnya walaupun Sarimah dah berlari-lari anak dan sembamkan muka di bantal dan bergolek-golek atas katil dengan gediknya cintakan Kassim Selamat.

Tapi sebenarnya ada kebenarannya mengapa Ibu Mertuaku tak mahukan Kassim Selamat memandangkan Kassim Selamat tu memang bodoh kerana kemudiannya terbukti firasat seorang ibu bila Kassim Selamat dengan kejahilannya telah menggarpukan matanya hingga buta.

Mungkin Ibu Mertuaku sedar dan merasakan dari awal seorang Doktor atau Lawyer atau Magistrate tidak akan membutakan mata mereka dengan garpu.

Sekian.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Jack 'n' Jill Went Up The Hill

I finally join a cycling group, here in Jitra. They had been pestering me to join them for quite some times. Not that I wasn't interested, its just that I would be the only female in the group. Its not really the 'in' thing here in this small town to find a girl/lady/woman in a company of a group of men.

But after some thoughts, I said "Why not ?" as long as I know the boundaries ....

Actually they are MTB group. That's one of the reasons I decided to join them rather than the "roadies" . With my speed limit at 27km/h I think I wouldn't be left alone behind the pack because for MTBs even at 27km/h it is considered above average speed, I think.

The group has their cycling session at nite, taking the hilly route behind and around Jitra along the road of Tanah Merah to Bukit Wang and and sometimes the Guar Napai route, of which will only be around 30km. They would ride every other night without fail, subject to the weather, but still there are times when rain just cant stop them.

Ok. I m not really a strong cyclist and hills are not my usual playground. But with the group ,I have been introduced officially with this one steep hill. It was not really a proper introduction but rather more like a surprise encounter. That first night, I was cycling with only four of the group. The road was not that bad and since it was at night I couldn't really see whats in store at the front. I was coming down from a small hill and was really enjoying the descend when I started to feel some struggling pedalling. It was suddenly getting harder to push the pedal. I pushed and pushed but it was really difficult ... the boys told me to go slow, but I was not slowing, I was struggling to actually move because I had come to a halt.

"Bukit gila apa hampa bawa nih...?"

I had no choice but to unclip the pedal and get down from the bike. I had to push the bike and surrender the climbing.

The next day, out of curiousity I drove to that site of the hill to have a look and see what it was actually like.

Even the cars have to use first gear and motorbikes too have a hard time climbing this


"Masya Allah bukit ni depa nak suruh aku kayuh semalam !
Had it been daytime I wouldnt have climbed in the first place
I would have got down and walk !"


But still the look of the hill didn't scare me to try the climbing during my second session with the group. Tentulah tak boleh juga kan ... Aku bukan Aini.

During the third session, I was already praying "Ya Qawwiy, Ya Qawwiy" right from the corner before the road to the hill. And when I reached the hill, I could see the boys were already climbing. One of them stayed with me and was helping me on how to do it. I pushed and pushed with some encouragement from him

"Tekan lagi Ann, tekan kuat lagi ..."

..... I pushed and I could feel the heat building up inside my thigh and I pushed and tried to push, left and right, left and right ... and ... suddenly

eaokkkk ....eerrkkkkkk eahhhhhh ...

... BOOM ...

I fell down
(dengan penuh manja dan sopan gitu...)

together with my mentor behind who was following me closely .. We apparently had no time to unclip ! Alhamdulillah we didn't tumble down like Jack 'n' Jill.


So u see... I told you, hills are not my playground.

But secretly I hope to conquer that hill one day. Insya Allah.




Monday, December 01, 2008

Dear Passion,

Aku rasa aku semakin beku.

Ada sesuatu dalam diri aku yg semakin hilang.


Passion,

Aku tidak mahu kehilangan kamu. Kamu lah yang menjadikan aku, aku. Kamulah yang kadang membezakan aku dengan kawan-kawan aku yang lain. Kamu lah yang membuat aku ternanti-nanti sehingga satu saat adalah sangat lama bagi aku.

Kamu membuat aku bernafas segar setiap hari mengejar apa yang aku mahu.

Denganmu aku seperti tiada batasan waktu.

Jangan mati atau pergi dulu.

Sekian.

Yang benar,
Ann

p/s: Kamu tak perlu jawab surat ini.