stalker am i ?

i wish the couple i am stalking their blogs wont put their blogs on private.

sometimes i feel like a pervert or am i missing something in my own life that I have to stalk other people's love life.

hmmm ... scary, me pervert.

well i think its not that (justification, justification, justification)

i think we all love a good love story

we all love to see people in love

to see the ups and downs in a relationship and how they cope everything


seeing them reminds me of my own story with him


its been many many years, and yes i still fall in love with him every time i see him



Alhamdulillah

enduring pain

you know what does it take to go through the pain and bitterness in life ...? just hang in there when its the toughest .... just hold on to what you believe in..... hold tight, very very tight.

Cry if you must but but dont loose the grip

hold tight to HIM, cry to HIM ....

stay calm .... and cry again .... and be still

its only a matter of time.

sometimes its only a few hours, and then HE will give u a break ... when a friend says hi or talks to you .. and when you watch funny movies, read all the jokes in Tumblr..

and then the pain will come again.... you will cry again


the process might take some times, say a few weeks at the most .. after a month or so the pain will visit you once a while ..

and soon, by the time you know it .. the pain is already gone

trust me

I went through it all and survived , Alhamdulillah

Love

when you re in a relationship, you dont think logic, you dont simply do the math like 1 plus 1 is two.

you can end up somehow you dont know how that the answer wont be 2, it could be infinity for all you know.

love can sometimes shift you off the track ... and the study on people and love have been carried out for centuries and still they can never come with a standard guidelines.

not every relationship is the same, the magic of one relationship is purely based on chemistry and fate. Try as you might to catch hold of love, if its not meant for you, you will never succeed, but the ones meant for you will somehow find you even without you looking for them.

its tiring talking about love and relationship but its one of the talked about subject with everybody.

well good luck with your love ...!

Selamat Tahun Baru 2013

Ok , hari ini hari pertama utk 2013. ....

Hmmm ...

hmm... i wanted to say something grand, something greater than great, something that will give impact, but then what is a new year after all .... its just another ordinary day. Same sun, same sky same wind same of everything .

But then the difference is whats inside of you, what do you want to do this year ? what do you want to achieve .. what are your hopes ... how would you want it to be ? where would you want to be ?

hmmm

I was busy doodling and drawing with my iPad last night the last night of 2012, I forgot to even set what I should achieve this year ..

well, I just hope this year to offer me the best it could offer and that I wouldn't be just doodling away and wasting time not noticing the offers ... and hope that the firm and I will make more money and that I would be much much closer to HIM and him, and my family ...


Happy New Year

my iPad 3

ohh... my last year self would be baffled if she knows this. cK bought me an iPad to fulfil my birthday request.

I never thought i would want an iPad. i always thought iPad to be ....... childish and meant only for surfers.

i m usually a mac person and was a book person too (iBook G4)

and if you must know, i love to draw. i love water colors and i always find it a hassle to even prepare to start drawing .. with all the tubes, the brush, the water ... the mess.

and i wanted to draw using  a computer. and I had Bamboo in my head when I thought about virtual drawing, but then i thought, why not iPad ...

and heep heep hooray to iPad for its magical use for drawing too (besides games and surfing)

I just love it and i downloaded most of the drawing and sketch app available ...

but the the best one is of course Artrage ......

My Youngest Bro

he didn't have that much money. writing doesnt give you the stable income to even buy a bicycle. with some money he had from helping the big sister, he bought a one way ticket to perth.

he had only about AUD400 when he landed in perth. and i bought him a oneway ticket to auckland when the australia visa expires in february.

i wish him well.

:-)

Love and Relationship

I love to read blogs, and you can say that again I love to stalk.

I am following these two blogs of a couple being in a long distance relationship.

I ve been following one of them for quite sometimes , and i like the way she tells her stories. She talked about her past relationship, her loneliness, and how she hoped to meet the right one.

... and then she did, she found the right one, she was afraid at first, not wanting to commit, but somehow she couldnt help from falling in love .... the right one  fell the same thing for her too, but just as they were falling head over heels for each other, one has to be away for three years for study.

they vowed to stay together during the separation, promised to see at least once a year and hope to maintain the love forever ..

i find them to be sweet .... and reading their love for each other makes me think that when it comes to love, everyone is just the same, crazy, insane, passionate, fun, sweet, romantic and all .... even for a lesbian couple.

(yes they are two ladies falling in love with each other)

Katie Herzig- Wish You Well

This is one beautiful song

Katie Herzig's voice is so soothing

love

Why

Why are you making it so hard for me to love you, 

even when I thought I wanted to make amend and give you the best that I could

this love and hate relationship is really taking its toll on me

I am just tired

and at times I just dont feel anything

all is left is just responsibility

I want to love you with all my heart

i want to

i really do

Pesan Mak

Mak selalu kata, time saya kecik-kecik dulu waktu selalu gaduh dengan adik beradik, bila saya cemburu (sibling rivalry) dengan mereka atau dengan Chik :

"Hati kena elok ..."

Sampai sekarang tiap kali nak buat tindakan apa-apa, saya cuba check hati saya ni bersih ka tak ; apa yang saya cakap ada unsur dengki atau tidak; ikhlaskah kata-kata dan percakapan saya ...... dan bila saya sendiri terkesan niat yang tak baik di hati, saya rasa malu dengan diri sendiri

Walaupun kadang saya banyak tak setuju dengan mak, tapi ajarannya lah yang banyak buat saya berfikir untuk sentiasa menjadi lebih baik, walaupun saya bukanlah baik sangat ....

:-|

We Always Hurt The One We Love

... a very popular phrase we always hear when it comes to relationship of any kind.

I beg to differ.

Its not that .

I mean yes we do hurt them,

but the actual reality is

the one we love always hurt us.

Its easier to feel hurt by the ones we love than us hurting them

:-|

manipulasi perempuan

Berhati-hatilah pada manipulasi perempuan.

Tanpa sedar kamu kadang akan jatuh dalam manipulasinya yang mahukan sesuatu dari kamu.

Manipulasi perempuan adalah lebih bahaya kerana kita sering gagal menghidu di sebalik suara lembut bahasa indah yang diguna termasuk rupa paras.

percayalah cakap saya

kerana saya juga perempuan

walaupun saya tak cantik

Hidup Untuk Membuat Kebaikan

Kadang dalam hidup ini kita sering lupa akan perkara asas. Kita dihidupkan untuk beribadat kepadaNYA. Dan semua yang Muslim dan Mukmin mengaku bahawa mereka memang beribadat. Tetapi lingkungan ibadat yang kebanyakan kita lakukan adalah satu linkungan yang sangat sempit. Sempit kerana hanya memandang pada ibadat sebagai yang berkaitan dengan penyembahan secara fizikal pada yang SATU. Ahhh spiritual ibadat yang merangkumi keikhlasan dan kekhusyukan ibadat juga kita gagal selalunya. Oleh kerana kita gagal pada fizikal dan spiritual ibadatlah yang membuatkan scope ibadat hanya selalu pada ibadah solat puasa haji yang kita pegang sebagai satu talian yang sudah cukup hanya dengan Allah.

Kita sering lupa lingkaran kebaikan melalui hubungan sesama manusia sebagai satu skop ibadah juga.

Kita lupa membuat kebaikan sesama manusia.

the P word

Satu saja soalan :-

Bukakah perkataan P itu memang wujud dalam kasta kalian ?

Perkataan P bukan ciptaan khayalan.

Kita tidak dapat menafikan sejarah dan fakta. Seperti juga bangsa bangsa lain yg sejarahnya bermula dgn hina tapi masih mampu berjaya dan mengangkat diri dan martabat, bukan sibuk menafikan hakikat.

Seperti kata Cikgu Nobita

"Kenapa mata diletakkan di depan ?"

"Untuk melihat ke hadapan!"

Saya simpati perkataan itu wujud.

Dan saya lebih suka gunakan P itu untuk


POODAHHHH !


Sekian

I Realized That ...

I m more calm and relax during two occasions:-

Puasa time and when I m sick

Its during these two times that:-

. I dont feel I m in a hurry
. I dont easily get angry and annoyed especially at the driver in front whos driving at 4okmph
. I have the chance to drive slow and observe every things around which I never noticed before
. I feel I can take out my camera and really sit and compose without being "kalut"
. I can watch independent movies without getting up and get bored
. I dont talk much
. I m more mature .....


hahaha. Cool eh ..

So dont give me sugars when i m around and when you want me to behave properly.


:-)

Le Petite Nicolas

A very very nice French movie. I had a good time watching it and cant even stop from laughing all through out the film.

About a boy whos afraid that his parents would throw him out in the wood IF they have a new baby. With a few of his friends they created a group with the agenda to help Nicolas (our boy hero) to win his parents hearts back so that they wont abandon him.

The parents were hilarious, so were the teachers and of course they rest of the naive cute gang.

Its in French but the subtitles and the expressions would make you laugh and enjoy the movie never the less !


:-D

Alangkah Lucunya (Negeri Ini)

Melihatkan nama Pengarahnya saja sudah cukup untuk saya membeli DVD ini. Maaf Pak Deddy, terpaksa beli yang bukan original. Kalau di sini memang susah mau cari yang asli.

Mengisahkan tentang Muluk (Reza Rahadian) seorang yang memiliki Sarjana Managment yang masih menganggur dan tercari-cari kerja. Beliau bertemu dengan seorang kanak-kanak "pencopet" yang akhirnya membawa beliau kepada markas kumpulan mereka seramai leabih kurang 20 orang yang beroperasi secara sindiket di bawah seorang Ketua, iaitu Jarot (Tio Pakusadewo) . Muluk membuat satu proposal kerjasama di mana hasil daripada "copetan" kanak-kanak itu, sepuluh peratus akan diserahkan kepadanya untuk dibuat modal pusingan bagi menjalankan operasi lain dengan harapan operasi yang dalam bentuk penjualan itu dapat membawa kanak-kanak itu keluar dari dunia itu.

Muluk tidak bersendirian malah turut mengajak teman sekampungnya , Shamsul (Asrul Dahlan) kutu haprak yang kerjanya asyik main judi kacau orang tapi memiliki Sarjana Pendidikan. Bersama mereka juga ialah Pipit (Tika Bravani) anak Haji Rahmat (Slamet Rahardjo), Iman mesjid kampung mereka yang kerjanya hari-hari bersms menyertai peraduan di TV atau di majalah dengan harapan satu hari boleh menang besar.

Ketiga-tiga mereka berusaha untuk membawa perubahan kepada kanak-kanak pencopet itu dengan harapan mereka tidak akan lagi terus hidup dengan cara begitu. Syamsul ditugas mengajar mereka membaca dan menulis manakala Pipit pula ditugaskan untuk mengajar agama.

Yang menarik dan ironi kepada cerita ini adalah bapa Muluk iaitu Makbul (dipegang oleh Deddy sendiri) dan bapa Pipit, Haji Rahmat adalah orang masjid yang kuat pegangan ugamanya. Bagaimana kedua-dua mereka dapat menerima anak-anak yang mendapatkan pendapatan daripada hasil wang copetan yang hukumnya HARAM.

Betapalah "matlamat tidak menghalalkan cara". Mana mungkin, walau sesuci mana niat Muluk dan teman-teman untuk menggunakan wang hasil curian, digunakan untuk menjalankan perniagaan yang halal. Ya, yang haram tetap haram dan yang halal tetap halal. Tidak layak bercampur keduanya itu.

Banyak isu penting lain selain isu halal atau haram sesuatu pekerjaan, yang dibawa oleh cerita ini yang saya rasakan amat mendalam, antaranya pendidikan, kemiskinan dan isu yang paling menonjol pastilah isu korupsi. Perkataan korupsi diulang-ulang dengan penuh sindiran dan penuh mendalam dan penuh kebencian dan dibawa dibawa dengan dialog dan ekpresi yang tidak terlalu dramatik dan adakalanya lucu.

Saya suka babak di mana ketika sudah mendapat tahu sumber pendapatan anaknya, si bapa terus mengasingkan bekas menyimpan gula, garam dan kopi milik Muluk daripada bekas-bekas simpanan gula, garam dan kopi beliau.

"Nah .. gula kamu, kopi, teh"

"yang ini punya bapa..."

memang lawak

Watak sampingan ibu Pipit pula walaupun kecil tapi masih memberi impak juga. Kerjanya ibu Pipit hari-hari main gameboy atau paling tidak, teka silangkata. Masih tengiang di telinga saya ketika ibu Pipit menjerit bertannya pada suaminya "... siapa ya di Indonesia kalau yang menentukan halal atau haram..." lalu dijawab suami "MUI" (Majlis Ulama Indonesia).

"tapi hurufnya lima"

"ALLAH ummi..!" jawap Pipit

Banyak perkara yang cuba diajar oleh Muluk dan teman-temannya, dari bab kebersihan (mereka hanya mandi bila hujan turun) , membaca menulis mengira hinggalah kepada agama iaitu perkara berkaitan aqidah serta fardhu-fardu lain termasuk solat. Pancasila juga diajar hingga mereka boleh hafal.

Apabila mendapati bapa-bapa mereka tidak merestui dengan wang copetan yang menjadi sumber pendapatan mereka, Muluk dan Pipit terpaksa menarik diri dari projek tersebut. Saya sangat kasihan pada Syamsul yang merayu-rayu pada Muluk agar meneruskan projek tersebut kerana katanya buat pertama kali dia merasa dia berguna dan berjaya melalukakan perkara yang membawa manfaat pada orang lain. Sambil berteriak seakan hampir menangis Syamsul melaung:

"Kamu tahu pencopet yang paling berdosa besar itu
adalah pemerintah yang korupsi"

Cerita ini tidak berakhir dengan semuanya bahagia dan gembira. Filem ini tetap berdiri pada realiti. Ceritanya dibiarkan tergantung kerana memang masaalah yang dibawa tidak akan pernah berkahir jika korupsi masih terus terusan berleluasa. Ada sebahagian daripada anak-anak itu yang masih tetap mahu menjadi pencopet manakala ada sebahagian yang pilih untuk menjadi penjual jalanan.

Pun begitu, mahu berjual juga susah dan mereka hampir ditangkap. Ketika ini hero hensem datang selamatkan budak-budak itu sambil berkata :-

"Mengapa mahu menahan kanak-kanak itu
mencari rezeki yang halal.
Mengapa tidak ditahan saja pemerintah yang korupsi itu
kerana merekalah yang menjadikan rakyat negeri ini miskin !!!"

Sangat terkesan dialog ini. Sangat tajam ! Sangat berterus terang !

Ada juga diselitkan dengan sedikit harapan pada penghujung cerita, di mana kelihatan segerombolan kanak-kanak tadika yang berbaris lalu di jalanan mengibarkan bendera Indonesia. Mungkin inilah harapan yang diharapkan oleh filem ini, pada anak-anak Indonesia yang masih mentah yang mungkin akan satu hari nanti merasakan perubahan hasil daripada jalan-jalan yang dibuka oleh mereka hari ini .. walau sekadar melalui mesej filem.


Now go and find the DVD !!! Kalau nak pinjam sila hubungi saya....


:-)


p/s: kalau filem mcm ni ada kat Malaysia time filem keluar, direktor dengan geng semua kena angkut masuk ISA .. hahaha

Levels of Forgiveness

I always thought people should be allowed to make mistakes, provided that the you have the right attitude to show some remorse feelings followed by prompt actions to amend it and or at the very least plan on damage control.

But today I learned about levels of forgiveness in the mistakes. No doubt mistakes sometimes can be inevitable but there are people who should not be allowed to make mistakes, they cannot afford to make mistakes especially the silly silly mistakes. Silly mistakes happen to people who are not supposed to be making the mistakes in the first place.

Like your eldest child should not make a mistake which can be cute when made by her youngest sister and a nurse can make mistake but not doctors.

Some mistakes are not mistakes anymore. They are called negligence.

Bukan Begini Caranya Kalau Nak Cakap Tak Suka Kat Perempuan

Inilah lagu yang paling tak sensitif,
tune yg happy gembira cakap kat perempuan
"..sudah kukatakan ku tak sayang padamu"

sure Nora gelak2 kalau dengar lagu nih ... hahahaha


:-D

Patterns of Habit

Do you know that people 's characters have pattern to it ?

It takes many many years for one to differentiate the various kinds of patterns in different people. But usually some common traits in certain group of people would have the same pattern of actions.

Take a look around you.You can even start observing the ones close to you, those friends. relatives and even family member.

We are all actually aware of the patterns with those close to us, like a brother of yours who suddenly becomes overly talkative and friendly with you, you will somehow know already at the back of your mind that the conversation will later end with ... "..pinjam duit sikit" (can i have some money).

When one is not acting according to his habit or out of the character, you should have known and detect that something is coming or something is not right somewhere.

The system works with strangers too, but you first have to know which group they belong to. You can make your evaluation base on any one of the group's common characteristic and habits . From there onwards you can definitely anticipate which way they would go ...

But you cant be too personal and take into heart of all your findings. You just have to learn to live with it. You may not like what you discover but you should just laugh it off and be above it all , because we are all human, not angels.

Its fun to learn about people, but we must not forget that we have our own traits and characters that can be amusement or annoyance to others too.

Observe and you will learn.