When you want to help another person, you just have to also accept the baggage that can come with the help. It's not easy you know sometimes to do good, to be 'ikhlas'. Because 'ikhlas' is something unseen, nobody can know whether you re being 'ikhlas' or not.
A friend is being charitable with this one poor family, a single mother with a few children. This friend of mine decided one day to donate some money to the family. She even went to the extend of going to the house to have a look at their living condition. It was quite an uneasy visit when the single mother's mother pestered my friend for more money. My friend even bought them a bicycle for the son to go to school. When her daughter was going to get married, the single mother came to my friend's office to borrow some money for the wedding. My friend was hesitant but relented so as not to disappoint one's hope and wish. The single mother even promised to pay back the money once her daughter gets a job. To this day my friend has not seen the money.
So you think the single mother would back off a bit for not paying the money. No, she called my friend every month as if demanding for her salary. My friend was starting to get annoyed and irritated. It is hard to be 'ikhlas' when you re being harassed like that. But I guess thats the way Allah determins your sincerity in doing good. Its like a test Allah puts to see whether you really mean what you say or what you intend to do.
So as to minimize her annoyance of being disturbed every month, my friend now asks from the single mother to open up an account so that she can put the money in the bank. She gave some money and asked the lady to go straight to the bank to open an account and come back with a photocopy of the bank's account book. The lady went off and never came back until a month later.
She gave the photocopy of the account book and within an hour later ringed my friend asked her "Bila nak masuk duit nih, kak dah pi tengok kat bank, duit tak masuk lagi pun"
So how...????
A friend is being charitable with this one poor family, a single mother with a few children. This friend of mine decided one day to donate some money to the family. She even went to the extend of going to the house to have a look at their living condition. It was quite an uneasy visit when the single mother's mother pestered my friend for more money. My friend even bought them a bicycle for the son to go to school. When her daughter was going to get married, the single mother came to my friend's office to borrow some money for the wedding. My friend was hesitant but relented so as not to disappoint one's hope and wish. The single mother even promised to pay back the money once her daughter gets a job. To this day my friend has not seen the money.
So you think the single mother would back off a bit for not paying the money. No, she called my friend every month as if demanding for her salary. My friend was starting to get annoyed and irritated. It is hard to be 'ikhlas' when you re being harassed like that. But I guess thats the way Allah determins your sincerity in doing good. Its like a test Allah puts to see whether you really mean what you say or what you intend to do.
So as to minimize her annoyance of being disturbed every month, my friend now asks from the single mother to open up an account so that she can put the money in the bank. She gave some money and asked the lady to go straight to the bank to open an account and come back with a photocopy of the bank's account book. The lady went off and never came back until a month later.
She gave the photocopy of the account book and within an hour later ringed my friend asked her "Bila nak masuk duit nih, kak dah pi tengok kat bank, duit tak masuk lagi pun"
So how...????
3 comments:
Ada masanya trying to be 'ikhlas' is good, but in ur fren's case i rasa, she should put a stop to that. Memang kita boleh andaikan ia sbg ujian tp bg i, i always remember pesan my mom. Bila kita buat sesuatu perkara cthnya menolong org atas dasar 'ikhlas' membantu, selagi hati tidak terdetik mempersoalkan samada ia betul atau silap, maka teruskan. InsyaAllah, pahalanya berlipat ganda. Tetapi bila hati mula terdetik mempersoalkan erti 'ikhlas' yg dihulurkan itu... maka BERHENTILAH DARI MENERUSKANNYA. Jgn berpura-pura, menidakkan kata hati atas dasar ingin berlaku ikhlas, sedangkan akhirnya yg kita dapat bukan pahala tapi dosa... dosa yg kita tak nampak untuk diri kita sendiri. Sebabnya, once hati ada rasa reluctant, pahala akan terbang dn yg dtg adalah dosa. Sebelum kita berlaku adil pada diri org lain, kita wajib berlaku adil kepada diri kita sendiri dahulu. Itu pesan my mom.
Dan maaf, i always juga percaya (dr pengalaman sendiri)there're 2 type of org susah. Satu yg wajib kita bantu dan yg satu lagi perlu dididik sebelum dibantu.
1. Org susah yg sekali dua kita hulurkan bantuan, mereka benar2 memanfaatkan bantuan tersebut. Cthnya... RM200 kita hulur, mereka berupaya menggandakan menjadi RM400 dgn usaha mereka sendiri bg mengubah keadaan hidup. Itu namanya org susah yg sedar diri utk tidak meminta-minta.
2. Org susah yg sekali dua kita hulurkan bantuan,tak pernah cukup-cukup dan sentiasa meminta-minta. Kalau dihulur berguni bantuan pun masih tidak mencukupi, masih berkeluh-kesah dgn nasib diri, masih berharap bantuan lagi dan lagi. Itu namanya org susah yg tak sedar diri dan perlu dididik dahulu.
Didik itu maksud i adalah dengan teguran dan nasihat, teguran dan nasihat itu juga adalah bantuan sebenarnya. Didiklah mereka ini supaya berubah. Ingat, dalam al-Quran pun ada menyatakan, hidup kita ini tidak akan berubah jika bukan kita sendiri yg mengubahnya. BANTUAN PERTAMA BG MEREKA YG SEPERTI IBU TUNGGAL ITU ADALAH TEGURAN DAN NASIHAT. Kadang2 org2 begini buta utk melihat so kitalah yg kena tunjuk jalan bukannya menambahkan buta di mata dan hati mereka ni dengan bantuan demi bantuan tapi hidup masih ditakuk lama dan masih terus meminta-minta...
kdg2 kita harapkan pahala yg dtg dalam amal kita tapi yg dtg sebaliknya dosa. inilah yg i maksudkan dosa tak nampak tu. it's just my opinion yg mungkin u boleh share dgn ur fren... sb i pun berasal dari org susah sebenarnya tp my mom tak pernah didik kami meminta-minta, jika susah kena sedar diri dan kena usaha 4x ganda lebih dari org yg senang... :)
Mak aiii.. ini bukan sekadar komen dah ini.. ini dah kira Supplementary Entry ......
But yes, I think ure right ... mendidik .. tapi laratkah ..?
:-P
cik sekut, word!!! bisa juga, mendingan, biar ikhlas, kasih orang tak dikenal aja, atau salurkan lewat lembaga... (ijul)
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