PaintedBlock2

PaintedBlock

Days in Singapore

I just got back from a 9 day trip to Singapore. Exhausted still and my body is aching all over from the heavy loads of bags and the serious walking and climbing and jumping all over town.

If given a choice I wouldn't have gone to Singapore (because a vacation without a good beach is not worth it for me), but since my Sister has been stationed there for a couple of months, I thought, why not ? The apartment she's staying is too big for her anyway. It was my first time there and I was a bit excited and nervous.

My passport was only ready on the 5^th of October and my ticket was on the 7^th at 9.00 pm, by coach of course. It took me more than 10 hours to get to Johore Bahru first and then another half and hour to get to the other side to Singapore. I was freezing to death all the time I was on the coach. It was cold like crazy! The coach was supposed to take me to Beach Road which is quite far from Hougang, so said the driver and he suggested me to take a cab or a bus or MRT instead, at Woodland Old. And there I was among the whole bunch of Singaporeans (and Malaysians working in Sg) who were going to work, waiting for the bus to take me to the nearest MRT station in Woodland. Riding the bus I had the first glimpse of Singapore, the clean and beautifully painted blocks.

I reached my sister's apartment at about 11 am, and the time taken also included the breakfast I had at McDonalds below her apartment. The fully furnished and serviced apartment was beyond comfort and not bad at all. The pool was big and they have a sauna and a small gym. My holiday had just begun !

Singapore is like one huge city, the whole of the country is a city and like many other big cities in the world, you'll find people rushing here and there running for the bus and for the MRT especially during peak hours, before and after office hours. In between these two times, the MRT wont be that packed and you get to choose anywhere you like to sit on the bus. I love the double decker and would always sit in the front row of the upper deck, simply to get the view of the beautifully painted blocks. I took many photos of the blocks and the people too. My sister bought me the EZ Link Card which is very convenient when you go around on the bus and the MRT. You can just tap the card on the 'reader' and you're off to go anywhere your heart desire. During my stay there I've topped-up the card for about three times which was SGD10 for every top-up.

There's a shopping mall in every MRT stops and the utmost heaven for all shoppaholics would be the "Orchard Road". My sister and I spent the whole day at Orchard Road and we still didn't cover everything. We took the Saturday morning of MRT and reached the famous road at about 9 am and by the time we got back it was almost 10.30 pm. We went again for a new dress for my sis and this time we dropped by first at Dhoby Ghout's MRT station where "Plaza Singapura" is before we took a 5 minutes walk to one of the malls in Orchard Road.

All the times when my sister was at work, my days would start with a morning swim at the pool. The pool was quite big and as everybody's working, I had the pool all for myself. I would later catch a bus to the nearest MRT station, that is Yau Chu Kang and would venture the malls at every MRT stops. I had lunch with my sis and her colleague one day and later caught the MRT to Pasir Risk Park for a walk. I rented an in-line skate and had a breeze rolling around the park which was situated next to the beach. No, the beach was not meant for swimming, but its still a beach anyway.

Mingling around the Chinese Singaporean I observe one thing, there's no aura of resentment towards the Malays, the minority, a contradiction as to what happens in Malaysia. The Chinese there are more relaxed towards the Malays. They have nothing to hate about the Malays; they have the power and the economy is on their side. Unlike in Malaysia where you can feel and sense the resentment among both races. The Chinese here resent the fact that they Malays get all the privileges plus the political power and they always feel that they are second class citizens. But the Chinese here unlike the Malay Singaporeans have control of the economy power which is to the resentment of the Malays in Malaysia. The Chinese in Malaysia turn their resentment towards economy and the Malay Singaporeans turn their resentment towards religion. It is only by my own observation and it's a very general statement. I feel that the Malays in Singapore are relatively more religious than the Malays in Malaysia.

One Malay taxi driver told me that the Malays in Singapore are oppressed because everything is controlled by 'them' the Chinese. I said to him "What didn't kill you, would make you stronger". The Malays in Singapore must be strong spiritually and physically just like the Chinese in Malaysia. But as almost all Malay Singaporeans are Muslims, it is actually one big advantage that they must never take for granted. The religion should be their source of strength hence my statement that they are more religious is not a matter of choice, they have to. It is sad because many young Malays in Malaysia take for granted of what they have here. They do not have to worry even if they don't get good results in their exams because eventually the government would somehow help them and get the jobs for them, unlike their counterparts, the Chinese and Indians where the quota for them to enter university is still not enough to cater their intake, even when strings of As are attached. Maybe what the taxi driver said is true "The spoilt Malays in Malaysia should be thrown here to Singapore, so they will learn a lesson or two".

As obvious as it looks, the populations of Singapore are mostly Chinese. The only time I saw many Malays was when I went to Geylang. As Ramadhan was nearing at that time, they had some sort of celebration to welcome the fasting month. There were beautiful lights everywhere and the place was crowded. We were there checking the curtains for Mom for the Hari Raya. I didn't know much about curtains and all, but I can bet that any moms would be crazy shopping there as the things they have there are all beautiful. It is still cheap even if the prices are converted to Malaysian Ringgit.

Talking about curtains, I must never omit to mention this one shop "Spotlight". Its from Australia and the material and all are from that country. My sister went crazy after discovering the shop as there are so many things to choose from. There was a sale at that time and my sister got a beautiful cloth for curtains for only SGD1.99 when the actual price was SGD8 something. You can find Spotlight somewhere in Tempinese on the basement next to Swensons and one at Plaza Singapura.

If you're a Malaysian, never try convert the SGD to MYR before you attempt to buy anything because you will end up buying nothing. The SGD is stronger than MYR. For SGD1 the MYR was about 2.38 ( at the time I was there ). So, a plate of "nasi goreng" (fried rice) there cost me about MYR10 ! Almost all fast food outlets in Singapore are Halal and you don't have to worry finding a Muslim stall in every food court, because it seems that they have some sort of requirement that every food court must at least have one stall for Muslims. There's one food court which are all Halal in Simei. I cant recall the name of the place, but its just next to Simei MRT station. You can have Chinese and Western foods and even Japanese which are all Halal.

I managed to experience the first two days of Ramadhan there in Singapore. On the first day I went to Bugis and found a nice big mosque, the Sultan Mosque. I had my 'solat' there and later visited the Ramadhan Bazaar next to the mosque. And while I was there I saw the biggest and ugliest curry puff, compared to the small and nicely trimmed curled on the side of Mak Pah's curry puffs. The crowd at the bazaar was not as big as the ones we have here in Malaysia. Again, the Malays there after all are minority. There were two blocks of shophouses near the mosque which were occupied by the Muslims. I saw a number of Muslims mingling around the bazaar and a few restaurants they have there, waiting for the breakfast. I bought a 'kebab' from the bazaar and got myself a light coke from the mamak shop before I went and had my breakfast somewhere near the Bugis MRT station. The moment I stepped out of the blocks and the Mosque area, the Malays are out of sight too. Maybe its breakfast time and they are all at home.

I wish I had more time and money to discover all of Singapore. Nine days were actually long enough, but I was so laid back and didn't make enough attempt to have a good adventure. Perhaps it was because of my notion, that a vacation must have a good beach. I forgot that I should take advantage of finding the soul of the country I was visiting instead of thinking that it's all about shopping, because for me and for most, Singapore is all about shopping. But the irony of it all is that I don't fancy shopping at all in the first place. I should have gone out of that thinking. I should have been me and be more adventurous. Maybe, insya Allah, my next trip to other countries wouldn't be the same.

Oh.. I cant wait to discover Jakarta !!!

cK: If you want to 'nganga' (hang around doing nothing) there, you might as well do it here in Alor Setar

Siti Can Sing But Not Like Salamiah Hassan

I watched Akademi Fantasia Concert #6 where one of the invited critics was Hetty Koes Endang. I enjoyed everything that she had to say that evening, with such passion and love for singing. At one point she couldnt help it from singing herself just to prove her point. Her voice was strong and outstanding. But I hate it that everytime she opened up her mouth Aznil would interframe to cut her comments short. Why couldnt they just let her have the time as much as she wanted. We d rather listen to her than Aznil's and/or Kudsia's ramblings. Its not everyday we can gain knowledge from someone like Hetty.

Not all singers can sing like Hetty and Salamiah Hassan. Sorry I can only name them as I've heard both of them live. I even had the chance to compare Salamiah to Siti Nurhaliza when both were singing at the same ocassion. Siti can sing but not like Salamiah. Salamiah's voice is stronger and full of passion like the Negros. Sitis' on the other hand is soft and ...well ..... I dont know how to describe it, but when you listen to both of them you can sense the difference, Siti lacks of something that Salamiah has. Power that is. Even when they sang together, I could hear that Siti's voice was being drowned by Salamiahs'.

And yes, Mas of Akademi Fantasia 2: I dont think she can go far. She needs a lot of adjustment to do, her way of thinking, her attitudes. Her inferiority is blocking her way and her ego refuses to give in. After being in the Akademi for seven weeks, she's a dissapointment to all especially the trainers. Its not what you achieve is important, its the effort you put in to reach that achievment. People can sympathy if you shed tears once in a while, but to wail and cry like a baby every little emotional moments is way too much.

The New Diet Was Killing Me

Low Carb-High Protein Diet is not for me. Its crazy and I was weak for almost two weeks. The craving for carb was crazy ! Even when I had just finished some fishes and chickens, my stomach still wanted more. My brain did not translate my protein meals as filling. I am a carbo addict of which theres a malfunctioning of the brain in releasing a chemical called serotonin to stop me from continuing eating.I have to go back to the old diet then, Low-Fat, which I think suit us Asians more as we will all die if we were to skip the rice .......

Malaysian Idol


Watching the show, I begin to realize, its not only Americans like I said in my previous comment on American Idol (with their superiority complex and all), it actually goes to the core of human being, believing in ourselves with our capabilities and our own-right talents. Its something what all the motivators used to say; The pride and the faith you have in yourself, nobody can take that away, not even Simon, Roslan or Paul or anybody.

I have to salute the people in those reality shows, to be able to come up and sing, not only in front of the judges but the camera as well for all the world to see and critic. You can critic and all about those 'wrong pitching' singing lads, but deep down you have to admit that theres a certain admiration for them. The out-of-tuned singers actually provide you with some sort of certain assurance in yourself, that you dont have to be perfect. Thats what makes William Hung a star, I believe. A star for those who are in the shell secretly wanting to sing out loud, but not having enough courange to do so. Hes the hero for most of us, because we are all not Fantasia Barrino !

White 'Tudung' on MyKad

Ohh... finally they decide that anyone wearing white tudung/scarf or those with white turban can now have their ID with colored background !!!

The reason :

An old chinese lady with white hair complained that she was asked to wear scraf (!) because they cannot change the white/very light blue as the background.

I have not picked my new MyKad yet, simply because I hate my photo on the card. The forgetful me went for my new ID card wearing white tudung and was forced to wear the red veil (apparently available at the office). I couldnt manage the tudung, and the second I sat on the stool *snap* it was done.

The result : Ohhh.. I hate it ! Me in any other color than white is a NO No and I look like a 40 year old makcik !

Nora and the Four 'Mat's

I had a good talk with Nora last night. We were talking about relationships and all, men and women things, when she brought up (again) the idea that her grandmother used to tell her time and time again when she was young.

" Orang perempuan ni kena ada 4 'mat'
1. JiMat
2. CerMat
3. KhidMat
4. HorMat "

"All women should have these 4 things :-
1. Economical
2. Conscientious
3. Service
4. Respect "

Ohh.. how Nora hates the words of wisdom of her late grandmother. She just couldnt get it for a fact that why does the concept was stressed only on women and not men.

"I hate it ! Why do they have to shove the idea on women. Why cant they just say something like 'All of us (men and women) should have these 4 things ..?"

Looking back I think the feeling of resentment Nora has goes back to her younger days when her parents favoured her younger brother as to the other 3 sisters. The brother would always get the best and was spoilt by her father. Favouring the sons is always the norm in Asian culture.

I would only be laughing everytime she keeps on rambling about her garndmother's words. I have nothing against that concept, in fact I'm for it. I adhere to the idea that women should be submissive to men, the husbands I mean. You could say that I'm a bit conservative here, but I really think the wives especially should apply the concept, particularly on the last one "respect". But then again there would always be an arguement on what kind of men or husbands who should deserve the respect.

I think women play a very important role in being mothers and wives. Applying those 4 ideas would do no harm. I once heard from a friend, that it is a must for every Jew women to study up to the university level. It doesnt matter if they get the jobs or not after studying, but to have a high level of education is considered significant, because mothers are the ones who would mould the future generation. Even in America, the ones teaching in the pre-school sometimes do have Master degrees. Ever wonder when here in Malaysia, those teachings in the pre-school are sometimes SRP/PMR (lower level of secondary school) leavers. Cant blame them, where in the world in Malaysia can u find a Master degree holder who wants to be paid RM500-00 a month to teach those kindergarten kids ? RM500-00 is considerd high if compared to some pre-school in rural areas where the pay is as little as RM200-00.

Again, as I mentioned in my previous post, a wife is the Prime Minister of the house who plays a very important role behind a King. They should know how to manage the money, the children and of course the husband. I remember the wording of Toula's mother in "My Big Fat Greek Wedding"

"Your father may be the head of the family, but I am the neck; I can make the head turn wherever I like"

Beautiful ..? Who.. me ..?

I was reading Sleeksexycat's blog where she was telling about the talent scout who stopped her asking her whether she would want to be a model for future advertisement. Wow ! I said to myself. She must really look good (though I ve never met her). To think that anyone would stop me for my look .. that is awesome !

I am not one who is considered beautiful or even good looking. I ve realised this for quite some times, since I was even a teenager. But I know of a few people who claim that I am kind of sweet. Just sweet. But not good looking enough to make some guys whistle or even drool over. Even if a stranger comes and says hello to me, I would probably look behind first before asking him for sure "Who.. me..?".

So beauty is in the eye of the beholder. How come all these beholders usually have the same definition of beauty ? My best friend in campus was beautiful (I bet she still is). I got so used of seing her getting all the atentions from the men. To the extent that I was not even known (among the guys) as for me, myself, Ann. I was known as 'her' best friend.There was one time when I had a 'small' crush on this one guy, and I thought he was looking at my way when actually his eyes were on someone on the other way .. yeap its her again. I never resented that though. I took it as it was.

And whenever I go to the gym with another friend of mine, men seem to flock her like shes one helpless lad. I asked cK for that matter, and he said that its maybe I have this certain aura around me. An aura of an independant woman, who looks serious and no-nonsense and as if she doesnt need a man. "And that perhaps you have that look that if the guy goes and says hello to you, you would give a look like "whats-the-hello-for" ..."

Yes, because of that inferiority complex in the look department, it never occured to me that someone would really be interested in me. "Even if there were men who were interested in you, they would have given up .. because of your ignorance in sensing the interest of others in you " so said cK.

"But you knew how to ..."
"Ohh.. thats because I'm one of the most patient man in the world "
"Maybe it really takes a real man to really know how to win my heart ....."
".. and because I look far beyond looks .. and I see the beauty somewhere there ..."

" Who... me...????"

Why Polygamy

The majority of women would be ready to beat me up after reading this posting. I have been wanting to write about this for quite sometimes and I think why not now ?


Allah says :-

"If you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans,marry women of your choice, two, or three or four; But if you fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one ..... That will be more suitable,to prevent you from doing injustice."

Surah Al-Nisa' 4:3 (translation by Abdullah Yusuf Ali)

This is the main verse for all when discussing polygamy. Oddly enough the verse is used by both who are for and against polygamy, and the big issue is always the question of 'justice'.

If you cannot be just, why marry another ? So, what does 'just' actually mean ? Just or 'adil' in the Islamic definition is 'to put thing in its place'. Just does not mean equal. It is the ability and the simple act of determining which goes to what and how much is enough. If the first wife has only one child, does the husband have to buy her a van just because the second wife owns one (van) because he has 5 children with the second ?

There are men, and yes, I hear you, most men, are at fault when it comes to being just. Not only dont they buy the first wife a car, they dont even bother to give her adequate maintenance to keep that one child. In short, they abandon them totally. That is the lacking in the men, not in the validity of polygamy.

Sisters in Islam always quote this following ayah in support of their stand that man can never be just and thus, polygamy is not permissible because Allah has confirmed so :-

"You are never able to be fair and just as between women,
Even if it is your ardent desire...".

Surah An Nisa 129

That is the verse quoted by them, but they fail to quote the whole of the verse :-

"You are never be able to be fair and just as between women, even if it is your ardent desire; but turn not away (from a woman) altogether, so as to leave her (as it were) hanging (in the air). If you come to a friendly understanding, and practise self restrain, god is Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful"

Surah An Nisa 129

While admitting that men can never be fair, Allah did mention that even so, men can never leave their wives just like that, as if hanging in the tree. Which means that Allah knows the weakness of men in being fair, but that should not put a stop in trying to be one. Men are still responsible to take care all of his wives, even if he still favours one to others. (Dont we all have our own favourites after all, be it sons and daughters, nieces, teachers ....)

Take for example in Solah (prayer). It is required that one has to be 'khusyu' (solemn concentration) in solah, to really concentrate and not to be swayed in your thoughts and minds to other things. Nobody, nobody in this world can claim that they can be 100% khusyu in their prayers, but just because we can never be 100% khusyu does that mean that we should not perform solah at all?

I have to admit that the issue of polygamy is an emotional one. Emotional for all women, because, whethere we like it or not, women are controlled by their emotions, not always, but most of the times. Emotion is one of the things that makes us different from men, that special something Allah has granted upon and created in women to be part and parcel of our unique characters.

It is hurtful to find your husband of 20 years suddenly marries another. Being hurt is one thing, but to go all out in preventing the legal, is another. Why should a man get the consent of his first wife to get married to another ? Why do we allow such regulation when there is nothing in the Quran or Hadith that says so.

One has to remember of one thing. "Jodoh" or fate. If its meant to be its meant to, if its not, its not. No matter how flirtatious and how much a man wants to marry another, if its not his 'jodoh' it can never be materialized. But then again, the concept of fate and jodoh is another issue.

Sisters in Islam and some of the women, I see for now, are barkinga at the wrong tree. Why are you shouting at the man who marries another when the 'other' woman actually agrees to it. Rather than fighting the right of the man, why not promoting anti-polygamy to the 'other women' who are being branded with names for stealing other women's men.No matter how much you campaign against the law of polygamy, the core of marriage would go down to the consent of both man and woman. If the woman agrees to it, even if she knows right from the start that the man is married, what is there Sisters in Islam can do ? This kind of instance does not only happen in polygamy cases; What is there can you do if a woman agrees to marry a thug or a drug addict?

Marriage is after all a risk, and one goes into a marriage with blind eyes, be it to a single man or a married man.

The Boy

the boy who
made it through against all odds
making every things possible
achieving not only his dreams
giving his best to the rest

you have to love this boy
who makes you smile
and makes you laugh
and brings you all that you love
with all his generous heart

this is the boy
who has turned out to be a wonderful man
a successful one
who stays firm on what he truly believes
who will stand by you
when you're at your worst
but never hopes for a praise
in return for what he has done best

the boy who is now
the man the world respects and admires
who has all the excellent judgment,
stamina, and determination
whom you won't dare to argue
if you don't have the same swift wit

the boy is still in the extraordinary man
but not for all the world to see
those he allows to
must mean a lot to him
ohh.. how I still can't believe
that one of them is me !

A birthday wish for the boy
to stay the person he is today
for all the goodness he brings
May Allah be with him all the way


Happy Birthday Dear Boy !

Election Fever

Election is just around the corner. Cant really tell whether I'm excited or not. Think I'm not THAT excited anymore, like I used to when I was in the campus. Its strange how people can change. Have I changed over these few years. I dont think so. Politically, I still have the same basic ideas about the government and even the oppositions. My ideas and thoughts are still the same but my anxiety of the whole things has faded off. 5-10 years ago, I wouldnt mind debating with the guy/girl next door about why religion and politic do go together and why it is important that we do our part in fighting-in-HIS way. I was a rebellious who wouldnt mind facing anyone who was against my ideas and thoughts. It used to be such a thrill to able to debate with supports from the verses and hadith ( even when I recklessly always forget the original text - only the gist of the meaning). I was full of idealism. The high spirit of a youth.

I am old now. Hahaha... not physically, but mentally. The idea of debating is exhaustive. I learn by years that its quite hard to change people's perceptions and ideas. You might as well have a lenghty discussion with those with the same ideas. I dont get mad or angry anymore when people disagree. I leave things as they are. I would usually keep quiet and just observe. Some of the things they talk now have been preached by me 10 years ago.

I want to resolve more on reading now. I dont read as much as I used to. My readings now are more on fitness. I used to have a very good discussion with cK on sufism, shiah and islamic history in general. We used to read a lot just to keep with each others' knowledge. Hmmm ... may be we should do it again some times.

To quote Kalim Siddique : " .. a muttaqin will never get involved in politics ..."

hmmmmm.... *sigh*

Valentine's Day is over rated. I have to agree with most people who still have some senses (or maybe who are still single and secretly wishing someone would send them 240 roses at the door on V day) that why do we have to wait for that particular day only to confess your love. But then... on the other hand, its not that we cant profess our undying love on any other day, but to make it special on that ONE day would make both of the couple happy, especially the girl who would think the man does not love her just because he doesnt bring her roses with a box of choclates and a cute teddy bear. How superficial.

Love is the little thing that he does to remind you of his love like ...

when he rings you in the middle of his busy day just because he wants to have a break by hearing your voice ...

when he brings you your favourite food whenever he comes back from work ..

when he sings a love song while driving in the car with you while looking at you hoping you catch the meaning of the song (even when his voice is terrible) ...

when he 'kutuk' or saying all the bad things he could find on Jamie Aditya Garaham and his programme Sync or Swim just because he knows how much you like the guy ...

and my all time favourite would be

when he stops the car to find a phone booth to continue the conversation when his hand phone is out of battery and hes in the middle of talking to you ....

Now that is LOVE !

Watching the "American Idol", you can easily understand the superiority complex that the Americans have as opposed to most Asians who suffer inferiority complex. I'm not in the position to judge those people, but having superiority complex and high self confident can turn out quite bad.

Some of the voices were terrible, freaky and very weird .. and yet they claimed they CAN sing and believed they re the next "American Idol" !. I was rolling on the floor seing some of them fighting with Simon (especially)( gosh they hate Simon) and accusing the judges incapable of recognising talents.

Sick !

Aku Bukan Pilihan
- Iwan Fals

Kini kumengungkap tanya
Siapakah dirinya ?
Yang mengaku kekasih itu
Aku tak bisa memahami


Ketika malam tiba
Ku rela kau berada
Dengan siapa kau melewatinya
Aku tak bisa memahami

Aku lelaki tak mungkin
Menerimamu bila
Ternyata kau mendua
Membuatku terluka
Tinggalkan saja diriku
Yang tak mungkin menunggu
Jangan pernah memilih
Aku bukan pilihan

Selalu terungkap tanya
Benarkah kini dia
Wanita yang kukenal hatinya
Aku tak bisa memahami

Tak perlu memilihku
Aku lelaki, bukan untuk dipilih

I fell in love right away with this song when I first heard it, so melodic with nice lyric and manly voice of Iwan .... What a song ! Get the song here.

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Its been a while since I last blog, not that I was busy with my work, but I just feel like I dont have anything interesting to tell. Even when there are 'some' excitement, fascinating and good things that have happened, I just couldnt make myself sit and write, i think its just the private part of me and sometimes it can cause a bit of confussion because I really want to write and tell people but on the other hand I feel I should just keep them for myself.

-----------------------------

Anyway, I will be going to Langkawi (finally) if God will, Insya Allah, next week. I've checked around, thru the internet and I think i can only afford a small budget vacation, which means no hotel with swimming pool, just a nice chalet or motel by the beach. In fact I've found this one motel where they have the rooms facing the beach costing only RM85; air cond with tv and one queen size bed. That sounds alright !!! I'm used to having vacation all by myself, but this time I just feel like I may need a company. The thing is not any company, a friend, who understands me and my crazy antics with the beach and the sea, independant and who can swim too. Hmmm... quite a wish as most of my friends are all married with small kids and those single ladies of mine are not into swimming. The only one i can think of is my Sis ......! But she cant make it. Hope to plan it well this time, and yes .. i want to venture more into the sea as there wont be any swimming pool. Body board is suffice i think, in exchange of surfing, as Langkawi sucks for surfing (hahahaha talking like a pro.. when I cant even stand on the board) :0

I like Indonesia, especially Indonesians, the people of Indonesia. My keen and respect for them started when I was in Form 5, when History of Indonesia was part of the syllabus. I might have forgotten some facts from the history book, but the admiration still lives on till this day.

They fought for their independence, and with their own blood. I have to admit I felt a slight dissapointment that Malaysia got our independance by mere talks and obligating ourselves to what the British had carefully and subtly outlined for us. I have this idea that the price of our independence would not be the same had we gained it through our own blood so that we can tell the children to walk on the ground with proud and love because the blood that built your country today are still flowing throughout the country. Thats what Indonesians have been telling their children and their generation to come.

There was one time when I had the chance to join my campus educational trip to Medan and Acheh somewhere in 1991. I began to observe the Indonesia students' thought; their maturity and their intelligence awed me. I'm not saying that Malaysians are not up to the standard, but I feel that we lack something. I sensed pride and confidence in their caharacteristic. Proud of themselves as Indonesians and confidence of their own capabalities. I began to appreciate the language as well, so smooth. I dont know whether its because of the language itself or is it because of their flow of thoughts.

During that trip, on our way to Acheh from Medan, we stopped by at one of the schools (I've forgotten the name). They put us on the stage where we had to introduce ourselves and gave some briefings about our students council and some other stuffs like the objectives of the trip and so on to the whole school. There was this one guy from our group, (me and Nada, my friend were not really fond of him ; just for the record during some brief intro prior this session, he told all of us and the Indonesian Students who were our host where we were staying, that his ambition was to be the Prime Minister of Malaysia ; duh !) who took the lead in briefing the students and he did include about ABIM activities as well and its strong connection with the Malaysia government (of which was very irrelevnat as the trip had nothing to do with ABIM in the first place; its just because most of the committees were ABIM members). His briefing was very simple and he touched only the surface but he looked very arrogant.

One student from the crowd suddenly stood up . He was actually supposed to ask question, but he ended up briefing us back the whole history of ABIM and the detail story of Anwar (Ibrahim)'s first involvemment with UMNO and the frustration of ABIM's top members at that time of Anwar's big step, while giving his own comments on the issue. Ohh he really put us in hot seats, but I was loving every moment of it and to watch Nik's (the ABIM man) face turned red, it was great. The Indonesia student was really prepared and he knew "our" stuffs. I was amazed and from then on, I'm hooked! !.

I was so happy and amazed when I first found out that Indonesians start to vote at the age of 17, which to me shows a lot. It means that by the age of 17 they would have to think about politics irregardless the fact that some merely love the fun of the parade and coloring their faces during election times. The thing is they know they can make a difference to their country with their one vote. While here in Malaysia, youre not supposed to talk about politics even when youre a university student *sob* *sob* *sob*. Indonesia tought their children to be brave, to stand for what you believe, to fight for justice and be proud of it and the phase of "Reformasi" time showed it all. I was so excited of the whole thing, to join the chat session with the Indonesia students discussing about reformasi . If only I were there I that time, I would have surely joined the rally.

But I know its not about excitement in Indonesia. What I see from here is not the same. Its a struggle everyday even just to make a living. If youre from a well to do family youre blessed, if not , youre lucky just to be able to have lunch today. Its not easy to take care of 234,893,453 (July 2003 est.) people. You just have to make use all that you have even if you only have to depend on mere pride and the fighter in you.

Watched Oprah Show this morning. The topic : "What Happens After the Wedding?". It was an interesting topic. They were talking about how most couples, usually the bride-to-be, who were so caught up with the "moment of their life time" the wedding plan, that they tend to forget the true meaning of the marriage itself. From the moment the proposal was made, the engagement period and untill the wedding day itself, they were like in cloud nine. Only after everythings over and the cakes are all gone, did they realize that they actually have a lot of adjustment to do with their new life.

I once heard someones saying : "The happinness of getting married only last three days". I laughed when I heard it. But I have to agree that there might be some truth in it. When we were younger, we had our own visions of what marriage should be, like fairy tale stories, where the stories would end with " ... and they lived happily ever after". Nobody told us at that time that Cinderella would have to endure the whole of her life with Prince Charming's habit of not putting back the toohpaste cap back after use, nor about her constant fight with the in-laws (as well as the step-sisters who were still on her back).

You may have known your partner as your boyfriend/girlfriend for 10 years, but to actually live with him in the same house and to share the bed, when you used to have the space all for yourself and now to have some sort of tug-of-war for the blanket ...... every nite. For some, even living together before marriage is still not the same as the actual marriage. When you live together theres still a notion at the back of your mind that you still have the chance to escape by just moving out at nite, but after being married, that sort of idea somehow doesnt sound that simple.

Theres also the issue of being married to his family too. You have to accept his family as part of your life now. No matter how bad the mother-in-law is, she is now as good as your mother (even if your mother is slightly worse). The worst case is when you get to marry a mama's boy. Oh no ... no .. no .. no.. youre really heading for trouble if you dont know how to handle it properly. A mama's boy will always be a mama's boy even at the age of 60, you will have a constant struggle to win the man you love. To his mother you re the woman who has taken his baby boy from her. Ohh.. its not a good situation at all ......

One of the panelist in the Oprah Show suggested that you should have a list of questions that both of you and your husband-to-be should answer honestly, before the wedding. I think my the questions would be like :-

1. Are we to have a joint account
2. Who will pay the car and who will pay the house
3. How many times per week should you visit your in-laws
4. How much money can both of you give to your own family, for the sisters/brothers
5. What happens if one of you is attracted to someone else ,
6. Would you accept polygamy ...
7. If you have children what sort of education would you like them to have, the type of school they would go, the sort of discipline you want them to adhere to

Yes all the questions would definitely have the answers, at that particular time. It would not be the same as when you really face the realities, but at least the questions would give you some basic ideas on where your partner stands on certain issues.

I am still single and almost all my friends are married. At the age of 20-25 I used to envy them, for having someone to love and loving them in return. But now, not all of them are "...living happily ever after". Some are divorced, some are having problems and yes some are really happy. I'm not against marriage. I'm not hunting for the potential bridegroom nor am I running from him. I take things as they come. If its meant to be, its meant to. We all have our dreams and hopes, but we cant have everything that we want. Our life after all is destined (oddly somehow by our own choices.......)

"What we shall be is written .........."

Got this from Ijul's site

Your Brain Usage Profile

Auditory : 46%
Visual : 53%
Left : 70%
Right : 29%

Ann, you are somewhat left-hemisphere dominant and show a preference for visual learning, although not extreme in either characteristic. You probably tend to do most things in moderation, but not always.

Your left-hemisphere dominance implies that your learning style is organized and structured, detail oriented and logical. Your visual preference, though, has you seeking stimulation and multiple data. Such an outlook can overwhelm structure and logic and create an almost continuous state of uncertainty and agitation. You may well suffer a feeling of continually trying to "catch up" with yourself.

Your tendency to be organized and logical and attend to details is reasonably well-established which should afford you success regardless of your chosen field of endeavor. You can "size up" situations and take in information rapidly. However, you must then subject that data to being classified and organized which causes you to "lose touch" with the immediacy of the problem.

Your logical and methodical nature hamper you in this regard though in the long run it may work to your advantage since you "learn from experience" and can go through the process more rapidly on subsequent occasions.

You remain predominantly functional in your orientation and practical. Abstraction and theory are secondary to application. In keeping with this, you focus on details until they manifest themselves in a unique pattern and only then work with the "larger whole."

With regards to your career choices, you have a mentality that would be good as a scientist, coach, athlete, design consultant, or an engineering technician. You can "see where you want to go" and even be able to "tell yourself," but find that you are "fighting yourself" at the darndest times.

________________________________________________

Am I like that ... ? Hmm.. I doubt about the 'tendency to be organized' part. Because for once you should all come and see my office room; with the files scattering all over the place. But my room in my house is not that bad... simply because there are no files *ehem*.

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Still in the mood of talking about politics.

A few days back I saw one banner with the words " Kami Peniaga-Peniaga Kecil Melayu Menyokong Penuh Dato' Yusof Nayan Sebagai Dato' Bandar Alor Setar" ( We the Small Malay Traders Are In Full Support of Dato' Yusuf Nayan as the Mayor of Alor Setar". Why the banner ? What are they trying to tell the people? I see nothing else except that there must be some people who are not satisfied that Dato Yusuf Nayan has been chosen to be the Mayor. And the ones putting up the banner are those people trying to show their loyalty and support, when it could have been Dato' Yusuf Nayan's idea himself. Hehehe. Had there not been any kind of banner of that sort, nobody would detect the frictions somewhere.

I hate that sort of banner because I have this sneaky feelings that its done for somebody's own political purpose. When you see that kind of banner, you will know right away that somebodys jacking up somebody's a** . Sorry for the latter .. cant help it .

Rosnah Aiming For PM

The PM Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi annouced yesterday that Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak is now the Deputy Prime Minister of Malaysia. Najib as he fondly called, has been the favourite one and his name had been mentioned for a number of ocassions by the then PM, Tun Dr Mahathir, and everybody knew that he might be the next in line to be the DPM after Pak Lah. Its quite a disspointment actually to see Najib as the future PM, but I guess Pak Lah has no choice. It has to be Najib.

1. He got the most vote during the recent UMNO election as one of the top three Deputy Presidents , which means that he has a good grassroot support from the UMNO members

2. He has been in the cabinet for as long as anyone can remember . He was elected to be the Deputy Minister of Telecom and Post when he was only 24, and he is now 51.

3. He has a good political background family, being the son of the late ex-PM, Tun Razak and being closely related to the late, also an ex-PM, Tun Hussein Onn.

Pak Lah cannot ignore the hints given by the ex-PM when he kept mentioning Najib to be the one.

If given a choice I would prefer Muhyideen Yassin, he is now holding the Ministry of Agriculture, which is a good thing since there are a lot of opportunities for him to be populor among the 'rakyat' in the lower grassroot, and if hes smart he can build a good base from there.


And yes, everybody in UMNO would be singing praises and vows supporting the decision by Pak Lah, but one should know UMNO's culture, nobody dares to be against the 'big wave' unless theres somebody up there in the high post has another thought in mind . But we shall see whether another book of " 50 Dalil Kenapa Najib Tidak Boleh Jadi PM" (50 Reasons Why Najib Cannot be PM) will be published.

Ohh as to why above title of Rosmah, well, Datin Seri Rosmah Mansor is Najib's wife. Isnt it the wife is the main person behind any man, the one whos in actual control of the affairs of the husband, the Queen, the PM of the House (when the Husband is only the KING). Yes, wife actually rules the house, and in this case, Rosmah without any doubt will actually be our next PM, (if only Najib can endure everything to keep the current post). LOL

I found this new site fairy.mahdzan.com a girl who is so fascinated and obsessed with Indonesia as much as I do, but shes better than me in the sense that she put her fascination in beautiful writings and photos and almost everything about Indonesia in her webbie. I was in awe reading all her stories, especially on the her travelling part like the times she went to Jakarta and her 12 hour train ride to Yogyakarta. Gosh .. how I envy her. Shes having all the fun I ve been wishing to do. And yes, the time she went to Dewa gig and meeting them and taking pictures with Dhani, I'm not really into Dewa as I was before, past my maturity age, but then still.... she sure had a swelling fun time. And the best part of all, she surfs ! Gosh I must meet this girl !

Seems like you are not in big trouble.
Actually, this result is actually BETTER than average.
You will have a perfect job. You will make a lot of money.
The job that you will have is being a kind of doctor.
You will not marry.
Many women will like you or did like you in your college,
but you don't think anybody is good enough for you. You will live in a two-story house when you are older. Two stories all for you is good enough for you! You will have many dinners in your house.
The bad news is that you will be very lonely and sad - perhaps
almost depressed when you are older. Yes, you will think that money is not everything in your life.
Feel good young man. You will not bald
/*_*\ Your hair will be the same as it is right now.
You will feel that you are one of the prettiest woman there is for your age /*_*\
You will be the over average woman.
In your future, nothing will hurt you.
Only pain on the outside. When you are 87 years old,
you will die of painful cancer.


The Quiz of Luck - What Will Happen In Your Future?
brought to you by Quizilla

How inspiring ......... But I am sure that "what we shall be is written ........" and may Allah guide me all the way and may He give me patience to endure everything .....

Happy New Year !

On Fitness

People always talk about resolution and all. Well I had one last year, "to be fit". Think I've achieved that, and with flying colors too, I must say. Loosing 6 kg is a achievment especially going through the diet and all. Hmmm.. as to fitness wise, my resolution this year would be to look like one of the women in the cover of Muscle & Fitness - Hers magazine, with some defined muscles and a good 6 pack ab .....


On Emotion

Enough of my fitness freak. On the emotional level, I just wish to have a better control of my own feelings, to be able to see things clearly from a few angles before I make any assumptions and jump into conclusions. Like cK always say to me:

"You cant change peoples behaviour, they can be mean, selfish or arrogant and all, they can make you feel sad and hurt. You cant change them but you can change your reactions towards them, you can take control of your own thoughts and feelings. Their words may hurt you, but if you choose not to let those words affect you, it can help a lot.
It all depends on you; what you choose to affect you and what you choose to ignore"

On Love

I have to repeat this mantra again and again to have a fulfilling relationship

"Love is what you give, not what you expect to receive"

You love a person for what he is, and when you fall in love, you really hope that your feeling is reciprocated. But whatever you give to him is out of your love, if he return it with love and affection too, its a bonus, if not, well .. you ve done your part by loving him...


On Career

To have a better concentration on my work and to have a zero deffect on the documentations prepared.