PAK NGAH

Pak Ngah anak kedua Tok, selepas Mak aku. Selepas Pak Ngah ada dua lagi adik lelakinya iaitu Pak Lang dan Pak Cik dan juga adik perempuan yang dijaga dan dibela oleh Tok dari bayi lagi, yang hampir sebaya dengan aku yang aku panggil Cik. Pak Ngah tidak seperti kakak dan adik-adiknya yang lain. PakNgah tak pandai. Pak Ngah tidak belajar sampai habis sekolah menengah, kalau tak salah aku sampai Darjah Enam saja. Oleh kerana tahap akademiknya yang tidak baik,Pak Ngah sudah mula bekerja dari remaja lagi, tapi kata Tok, majikan Pak Ngah selalu pening kepala dengan Pak Ngah sebab Pak Ngah susah nak faham arahan.

Tok selalu marah-marah dengan Pak Ngah. Mungkin juga sebab sikap Pak Ngah sendiri yang suka menjawap dengan Tok. Bila Pak Ngah menjawap Tok akan meninggikan lagi suaranya dan maka akan berlarutan sebentar perkelahian dan pertikaman lidah antara seorang ibu dan anak. Mulanya dulu aku tidak tahu kenapa, tetapi apabila dewasa ini aku rasa aku faham kenapa Tok seperti selalu “tension” dengan Pak Ngah. Mungkin antara sebab utamanya ialah Pak Ngah tidak pandai seperti anaknya yang lain. Walaupun anak-anak yang lain itu bukanlah pandai atau menjadi kebanggaan kepada Tok sangat, tapi mungkin pada Tok, sebagai seorang Guru, dia tidak dapat menerima hakikat bahawa dia mempunyai anak yang tidak pandai.

Hobi Pak Ngah yang utama ialah menonton TV. Rumah Tok dulu ada TV besar dan Pak Ngah akan duduk sangat hampir dengan TV tersebut, iaitu kira-kira 5 inci dari TV. Dari kecil juga lagi Abah selalu memberi contoh tentang Pak Ngah kepada kami supaya jangan menonton TV dengan terlalu dekat sebab nanti kami akan kena pakai cermin mata yang besar dan tebal macam PakNgah. Cermin mata Pak Ngah memang sangat tebal, dan bila aku tengok Pak Ngah dari dekat aku dapat lihat kedua-dua mata Pak Ngah besar seperti mata ikan buntal akibat pantulan cermin.Hingga hari ini, semua anak Abah aku tidak ada yang menonton TV dengan begitu dekat.

Kehidupan Pak Ngah waktu itu hanya berlingkar pada kilang papan tempat kerjanya dan TV. Setiap petang apabila pulang dari kerja,Pak Ngah akan membuat Milo panas satu cawan besar (L size) dan dengan kain pelikat dan tanpa baju dia akan bersila depan TV menonton TV dari petang sampai malam. Pak Ngah hanya akan berhenti menonton bila Tok mula membuat bising menyuruhnya pergi sembahyang. Walaupun umur Pak Ngah sudah dewasa waktu itu,dia masih lagi disuruh oleh Tok seperti kanak-kanak macam kami untuk pergi sembahyang. Pak Ngah akan selalu menjawap "Nanti sat lahhhhh !". Dan Tok seperti jam yang di "snooze"kan akan setiap 2 minit menjerit mengarahkan Pak Ngah berhenti menonton TV dan pergi sembahyang. 

Pak Ngah tidak begitu mesra dengan kami anak-anak buahnya. Dan pada sesetengah keadaan, kami agak takut dengan Pak Ngah. Kalau Tok suruh Pak Ngah pergi sembahyang, pasti selalu dia akan arahkan kami pula juga untuk sembahyang.Namun walaupun aku ini juga takut dengan Pak Ngah, masih lagi aku berani menjawap dengan Pak Ngah bila Pak Ngah membuat arahan untuk kami pergi sembahnyang. "Pak Ngah la pi dulu. Tok suruh Pak Ngah". Dengan jelingan yang sangat tajam dia telah mengeluarkan kata kesat kepada pada aku dimana aku juga menjawap jika kalau betul apa yang dia katakan pada aku itu, maka dia juga adalah sama kerana “kita satu darah” (Pak Ngah kata aku SETAN). Semua neraka pecah keluar bila aku menjawap seperti itu dan Pak Ngah dengan mata seperti membunuh telah mengeluarkan ucapan seperti matanya juga "AKU BUNUH HANG". Aku yang takutkan mati itu, lari bertempiaran ke atas rumah dan bersembunyi di dalam bilik Cik dengan mengunci pintu. Rupanya, Pak Ngah seperti malaikat Izrael, telah mengejar aku sampai ke atas sambil menyebut:-

"AKU BUNUH HANG ! AKU BUNUH HANG !"

Masaalahnya bilik Cik itu dindingnya tidak menutup hingga ke atas, seperti"partition" yang tinggi dan masih terdapat ruang antara dinding dan siling. Dinding yang tinggi itu tidak menghalang Malaikat Izrael yang sedang panas hatiuntuk cuba memanjat dinding tersebut ! Hampir luruh jantung aku melihat tangan Pak Ngah yang sudah memegang bahagian atas dinding. Dari atas katil Cik aku melihat kearah dinding itu dengan cemas sambil berdoa dengan bersungguh-sungguh agar dia tidak dapat melepasi dinding tersebut. Waktu itu, hanya dinding nipis itu saja yang memisahkan aku dan maut.

Oleh kerana Pak Ngah tidak pernah menjadi Pengakap di sekolah dan memang juga sudah ditakdirkan Pak Ngah tidak akan menghabiskan hidupnya dipenjara kerana membunuh anak saudara sendiri, dia telah gagal untuk memanjat dinding tersebut setelah begitu bersungguh-sungguh mencuba. Aku menghabiskan masa aku dengan berpeluh di dalam bilik Cik yang panas itu dari maghrib sehingga Isya sehinggalah Mak aku datang ke rumah Tok. Bila saja aku mendengar suara Mak di dalam rumah Tok, aku pun membuka pintu bilik dengan perlahan-lahan dan terus lari pecut seperti tikus masuk ke dalam kereta Abah dan mengunci semua pintu kereta.

Dari dalam kereta aku tahu Malaikat Izrael sudah leka dan masih lagi asyik menonton TV.

PS: 

Dulu aku memang anak buah yang dia paling menyampah. Aku jarang dapat duit raya darinya. Tapi bila aku dah matang sekarang, Pak Ngah dah OK dah dengan aku. Sekarang kadang aku yang bagi duit raya kat dia. Pak Ngah punya angin dah OK selepas Tok aku kawinkan dia...... Oh rupanya yang itu.......... hehehe

Dah Dekat Dah

 Sabar Popo 

..... tinggal lapan hari saja lagi Sayang .....

Jangan Kurang Hajar

Kenakalan mungkin sesuatu yang "cool" tetapi kenakalan tidak seharusnya melibatkan kebiadaban. Ramai remaja yang tidak mengenal batasan itu sedangkan ianya bukan pun satu lapisan nipis yang menjadi sempadan antara keduanya. 

Kamu rasa kamu tidak mahu berpura dan mahu menjadi jujur, namun kejujuran bukanlah satu alasan untuk biadap. Kadang kelihatannya kamu hanya mahu berselindung di sebalik kejujuran yang kamu katakan itu, sedangkan hakikatnya kamu mendabik dada dengan kebiadaban kamu.

Kita tidak perlu untuk bersetuju dengan sesiapa sahaja hanya kerana mahu menjaga adab. Adab tidak pernah menghalang kamu untuk berdiri sebagai lawan. 

Namun untuk berdiri dan bersemuka dengan lawan dengan penuh adab dan berhemah memerlukan kebijaksanaan dan kematangan.

Dengar sini sayang, kamu masih belum ada keduanya itu.

Haih..... Mudanya Aku

Ada orang telah menegur aku tadi;

Nak pi tuition kah ni ?

Kembang kempis hidung

Tapi tak boleh pakai orang yang tegur aku tu,



sebab dia orang gila.

hehe

Jangan Marah Kalau Kamu Tak Boleh Menghubungi Aku Semalam

Semalam dalam kekalutan bersiap untuk ke Langkawi, telefon tangan aku jatuh terhumban dari genggaman. Ini bukanlah kali pertama telefon tangan aku jatuh, memang sejak azali lagi, tangan aku seperti disumpah, hampir setiap benda yang aku pegang pasti akan terlepas jatuh. Kamu mungkin tidak percaya kadang gelas yang aku genggam untuk minum tiba-tiba boleh terlepas jatuh bersepah air seolah-olah ada yang menampar tangangku. No, aku rasa itu bukanlah akibat buatan bomoh atau buatan orang yang benci atau cemburukan tangan aku yang lurus kurus cantik ini (ya aku memang perasan), aku rasa memang sudah tertulis bahawa walaupun aku ahli sukan lompat terjun lari sana sini, namun aku masih perempuan melayu terakhir yang lemah lembut hingga nak pegang gelas pun tak larat.

Nokia jenama telefon tangan aku itu, aku rasa memang sangat gagah perkasa, hanya setelah jatuhan yang ke 15 kali, barulah ia mengalah dan mengangkat bendera putih tidak tahan lagi hidup bersama aku, lalu beliau mengambil keputusan membunuh diri. Aku seperti tidak percaya apabila secara perlahan skrinnya hilang dari pandangan dan lenyap bersama-samanya segala jenis data yang aku simpan. Orang-orang dan bank-bank yang mencari aku semalam masih boleh mendengar talian aku yang masih hidup apabila membuat panggilan, tetapi aku tidak dapat menjawab atau berbuat apa-apa kerana Nokia tidak langsung menulis wasiat hatta untuk aku mendengar deringan sekalipun. Kematian manusia berkarier diabad ini rupanya mati bersama-sama matinya telefon tangan mereka.

Dan Allah Yang Maha Kaya itu tidak akan selalu membiarkan hambaNYA derita lama. Kematian bukan sahaja melahirkan kesedihan tetapi juga memberi laluan kesempatan. Ya, seperti juga suami yang kematian isteri, tanah kuburan yang masih merah bukanlah alasan untuk menolak mendapatkan isteri baru.

:-P

Cleaning Day

I finally got to take care of the third room last weekend, Alhamdulillah. Lots of letters from the past, bills from the last house, old photos from my younger days, old notes from schools, primary and secondary and of course books and notebooks from U. Lots of ME in the room. I was walking down memory lane that day.

There were even my work books in primary four. Math workbook done in pen. Can you believe it, we were supposed to do math using fountain ink pen. Must have taken lots of confidence to do math in ink but we never complained.

I found old love letters too.... hahaha looking and reading at all the letters, I just couldnt believe that the writer was me, so corny ! Ewwww... Those letters were from and to my previous loved ones. A few are draft and un-posted letters and notes to an Indonesian student I was stalking. Crazy me. If I had a kid, I wd never never let her/him see those letters, it was so embarrassing pouring my heart out like that. Ewwww.... again !

And of course I also founds notes of crazy games I used to play with Motien and Misbah. Yeah.. Misbah was actually playing stupid games with me and Motien, you know the old games of guessing names of celebrities, actress and actresses. I saw names of the Kapoors too in the game... so to accommodate Misbah's favourites,I reckon.

Oh ya, I found a few old drawing blocks too. You see I loved to have a drawing block on my study table under my books, so that when ever I read or study I would every now and then stop and draw or write something on the block, usually lyrics of favourite songs, poems and whatever feelings I was having at the time and of course lots of doodling too.

During those days, I used to make my own greeting cards. I found this and I thought its cute to share it with all of you.

You know ... I prayed every night

.. during Ramadhan..

hoping to get a glimpse of the "Lailatul Qadar"

But the night they assumed it was

I missed it...

Happy Hari Raya anyway

(InsyaAllah I'll get it next time)

ps:
Iya.. I buat sendiri kad tu...
(Ada orang tanya dua kali betulka aku yg lukis kad tu)

UMN* 's Seven Stages of Grief

Tak dapat dinafikan lagi kadang aku rasa, UMN* sekarang seperti kekasih yang telah ditinggalkan, yang telah disisihkan, terutamanya selepas 8 Mac lepas.

Just look at the way their members handle the situation, I am beginning to believe that they are undergoing the Seven Stages of Grief.

I had suspected this all along, and I think they have experienced the first few stages already. I m not sure if they are manly enough or to certain extend humanly wise enough to go through all the stages, especially the last three.

1. SHOCK & DENIAL-

You will probably react to learning of the loss with numbed disbelief. You may deny the reality of the loss at some level, in order to avoid the pain. Shock provides emotional protection from being overwhelmed all at once. This may last for weeks.

Haha.. yeah... they didn't believe it. They just didn't get it why rakyat don't want them anymore. They were shock alrite and some were in the state of denial, blaming almost every other thing except themselves.

2. PAIN & GUILT-
As the shock wears off, it is replaced with the suffering of unbelievable pain. Although excruciating and almost unbearable, it is important that you experience the pain fully, and not hide it, avoid it or escape from it with alcohol or drugs.

You may have guilty feelings or remorse over things you did or didn't do with your loved one. Life feels chaotic and scary during this phase.

For most of them, they do feel the pain of course. They are in pain and thats why they are behaving they way they behave now.

The guilt, hmmm... this is a bit tricky because I dont think anybody would openly confess of being guilty. Chaotic phase... definitely !

3. ANGER & BARGAINING-
Frustration gives way to anger, and you may lash out and lay unwarranted blame for the death on someone else. Please try to control this, as permanent damage to your relationships may result. This is a time for the release of bottled up emotion.

You may rail against fate, questioning "Why me?" You may also try to bargain in vain with the powers that be for a way out of your despair ("I will never drink again if you just bring him back")

Hahaha... this is when the arrogant who shall be nameless but starts his name with an A came into the scene. The "Why Me ?" phase. They are suddenly getting angry at people and at other races. Making all sorts of provocations just to show their anger.

4. "DEPRESSION", REFLECTION, LONELINESS-
Just when your friends may think you should be getting on with your life, a long period of sad reflection will likely overtake you. This is a normal stage of grief, so do not be "talked out of it" by well-meaning outsiders. Encouragement from others is not helpful to you during this stage of grieving.

During this time, you finally realize the true magnitude of your loss, and it depresses you. You may isolate yourself on purpose, reflect on things you did with your lost one, and focus on memories of the past. You may sense feelings of emptiness or despair.

This is yet to happen. But I think its getting nearer already.

5. THE UPWARD TURN-
As you start to adjust to life without your dear one, your life becomes a little calmer and more organized. Your physical symptoms lessen, and your "depression" begins to lift slightly.

Hmmm..... not sure if they will ever ever come to this phase.

6. RECONSTRUCTION & WORKING THROUGH-
As you become more functional, your mind starts working again, and you will find yourself seeking realistic solutions to problems posed by life without your loved one. You will start to work on practical and financial problems and reconstructing yourself and your life without him or her.

Tsk tsk tsk....... ermm.. to expect the mind to start working again... ? Not sure if it is ever functional in the first place. But I do hope they can start "seeking realistic solutions".

7. ACCEPTANCE & HOPE-
During this, the last of the seven stages in this grief model, you learn to accept and deal with the reality of your situation. Acceptance does not necessarily mean instant happiness. Given the pain and turmoil you have experienced, you can never return to the carefree, untroubled YOU that existed before this tragedy. But you will find a way forward

I guess this phase will only come when they have become an opposition

Source :http://www.recover-from-grief.com/7-stages-of-grief.html

They are in pain. Just like an angry bf/gf who cant accept the situation, they have to hurt back to cover their ego and pain. Exactly like a hurting lion .... it will run amok because he s in pain.

:-)

Panduan Menggunakan Kucing

Inilah satu-satunya cara buat masa sekarang untuk aku online dari rumah

Mari Meniarap Di Depan Pintu

Itu pun Alhamdulillah boleh detect satu bar saja

Aku suruh Popo duduk depan jadi tukang tengok kalau ada tuan punya wifi cari aku.

:-P

Worthy of A Few Words

Just don't ask what time the picture was taken.

Lagi Cerita Tentang Aku Suhardi Dan Salwa

Aku, Suhardi dan Salwa tetap bersama di dalam kelas semasa Darjah Satu dan Darjah Dua. Seperti yang pernah aku ceritakan dulu, Salwa memang dari keluarga yang agak berada dan berkemampuan. Melihatkan dari jenis kereta ayahnya saja sudah cukup untuk kami sebagai budak sekolah menganggap Salwa bukanlah dari golongan miskin. Ditambah pula betapa dia selalu membelanja kroni-kroninya dikantin sambil jalan beramai-ramai, Salwa kelihatan sangat menonjol dan berkuasa sebagai Ketua Yang Memakai Topi Berbunga. 

Aku ? Aku pula tidak popular seperti Salwa, tambahan lagi waktu Darjah Satu itu, kerana lompatan "zero-point"  (tali getah) yang tidak tepat menyebabkan aku tersungkur rebah ke bumi,  patah gigi hadapan.  Aku memang tidak tampan dengan gigi berlubang dan tanpa wang untuk belanja kawan-kawan lain makan di kantin. Mak aku hanya bagi aku 2 kupang (RM0.20) saja untuk ke sekolah.

Walaupun aku tahu Salwa telah "cop" Suhardi dari Darjah Satu lagi, itu tidaklah menghalang aku untuk tetap berkawan dengan Salwa sebagai kawan sekelas. Bagi aku yang masih mentah ini, aku juga mempunyai rasa kekurangan diri di mana aku mengambil keputusan untuk mengundur diri. Salwa boleh memiliki Suhardi kerana siapalah aku ini untuk rapat dengan jejaka tampan itu. Suhardi pula seperti kebanyakan budak lelaki 7 tahun yang lain, tiap hari masih sibuk mengejar belalang dan bermain "combat" dan tidak tahu sepatah haram pun yang dia menjadi rebutan dua budak perempuan sekelasnya.

Antara kelebihan Salwa waku itu ialah dia sangat pandai bercerita. Setiap kali Salwa membuka mulut maka ramailah murid lain yang akan berkerumun di mejanya untuk  mendengar cerita. Salwa akan bercerita tentang pelbagai perkara tetapi yang selalu menarik aku ke meja Salwa tiap kali ialah untuk mendengar cerita Salwa tentang kolam renang di rumahnya.

Aku ingin membuat pengakuan di sini; ada dua benda di dalam kehidupan kanak-kanak aku yang menjadikan aku meleleh air liur melopong bila mendengar orang menyebutnya iaitu : piano dan kolam renang. Aku memang sangat teruja tentang dua benda itu.Kamu mungkin telah baca tentang aku dan piano Motien dulu. Tapi sebelum kenal Motien aku telah terlebih dahulu kenal dengan Salwa dan kolam renangnya.

Menurut Salwa di rumahnya ada satu kolam renang yang besar. Dia dan keluarganya sering mandi manda bersama di kolam itu pada waktu petang dan masa cuti sekolah. Kamu boleh lihat muka  aku tiap kali Salwa menyebut kolam renang, mata aku bersinar dan mulut aku akan ternganga dengan senyum yang terhegeh-hegeh. Salwa pula setiap kali bercerita akan siap dengan pensil dan kertas untuk melukis kolam renangnya itu. Dan aku pula tidak akan habis-habis bertanya itu ini tentang kolamnya, keluasan kolam dan juga kedalaman air di kolamnya. Dan termasuk di dalam soalan-soalan poyo aku itu ialah tentang  siapa lagi yang mandi di situ,baju renang jenis dan warna apa yang dipakai, guna pelampung atau tidak dan lain-lain soalan yang hanya akan datang daripada seorang kana-kanak yang gila kolam renang dan bermain air .

Dan Salwa tidak pernah jemu bercerita dan bercerita tentang kolam renangnya kepada aku yang konon ada hati mahukan bakal suaminya, Suhardi.

Memanglah aku ini budak-budak sangat waktu itu. Dan memanglah juga aku sangat teruja dengan kolam renang Salwa dan tidak dinafikan juga bahawa Salwa bukanlah dari golonngan miskin tetapi ada "sesuatu" di dalam cerita Salwa yang aku ingat sampai sekarang yang membuatkan aku juga rasa seperti ada yang tak betul tentang cerita kolam renangnya itu.

Mana tidaknya, Salwa bercerita kolamnya yang besar itu ada empat papan anjal; setiap satu untuk Mak, Ayah, Abang dan dirinya untuk digunakan mereka untuk melompat masuk ke dalam kolam itu.

Mana ada orang buat sampai empat papan anjal untuk satu kolam ! 

Tapi seperti manusia lain, aku telah memilih untuk percaya hanya apa yang aku mahu percaya.  Kerana biarpun cerita Salwa tidak betul seperti juga cerita piano kecil kayu Motien itu..... ianya cukup untuk aku berkhayal dan berfantasi indah tentang kolam renang. Seperti semua kanak-kanak lain di dunia ini, Salwa dan Motien juga berkhayal dan bermimpi mahukan Kolam Renang (dengan 4 papan anjal) dan Piano (yang besar)

Kami hanya kanak-kanak pada waktu itu.

Kami tidak berdosa untuk berangan.

*Izinkan aku juga untuk masih berfantasi tentang sesuatu yang telah 30 tahun lebih aku tinggalkan di mana jauh di sudut hati aku berkeyakinan kalau Suhardi di suruh memilih antara aku dan Salwa, pasti Suhardi akan memilih aku. Hahahahahaha.

Tahan Ujian Untuk Aku Dan Kawan

Memang sakit melalui ujian selalunya

Kadang terasa seolah hampir lemas

sepertinya air sudah sampai ke hidung tiada mampu bernafas

Segala jalan keluar umpama tiada

Terasa perit hampir merana





Tapi ujian adalah seperti email ingatan tanda

Untuk kita kembali pulang mengadu

dan

berserah kepadaNYA


----------


Menghadapi ujian juga seperti berlari marathon pada beberapa km terakhir agaknya

just when you feel you re about to give up

you know you cant and you shouldnt

you re in pain

but you know it wont be long anymore

Things We Forget

<200> ......................There are men who say:
"Our Lord! Give us (Thy bounties) in this world!"
But they will have no portion in the Hereafter.

<201> And there are men who say:
"Our Lord! Give us good in this world and good in the Hereafter,
and defend us from the torment of the Fire!"

Among the first few duas my grandmother taught me was from that particular Ayah 201. I knew it by heart from a very young age and later on discovered that its one of the easiest simplest dua one can have when you cant seem to remember or memorize any other long duas.

It seemed so natural that we want to have the goods of both worlds.The concept was not that difficult to grasp when you were young and carefree and even when you were still in school. You didnt have that much wants and worries in life.

But when I left school and started working, I begin to see the world differently, especially when you now have your own money to spend. You started wanting things in life, you want all the materials to enjoy and to certain extent to be like your extensions, to reflect the person you are superficially and materially.

You have all these worldly desires and the image of the next world started to fade and bleak. One day you wake up and suddenly you realize there's something missing and you stop to think that there's no balance anymore in your perspective of this world and the eternal world.

When I read the ayah a few nights ago, it suddenly hit me. It struck me hard because yeah, I admit I do sometimes have that kind of dua (the first one) even not verbally, but subconsciously, we sometimes tend to concentrate more of this world. But if you see the very next sentence that comes with the dua, you ll realize.... like HE's saying to us.... "Ok I ll give you whatever you want in this world.. but you wont get anything in the hereafter ".....

:-|

Marhaban Ya Ramadhan

How nice it is now that my house is very near to the Pasar Ramadhan.

It only takes less than 2 minutes from my gate to the eventful parade on the street.

I can even smell roasted chicken and murtabak from my house.

How wonderful.


Alhamdulillah

Selamat Berpuasa Everybody

T*h* ... not Nutritious

"I dont think you are fit enough to run that mile"

"Look at the food you re taking"

"You re eating shits"


"...but I do take greens"

"Ya, ya.. the only veges you take are those two pieces in between the burgers"

Sampai hati dia kata aku makan "t*h*"


Pizza dan burger tu t*h* rupanya.

Mungkin benar kata dia. Kalau makan benda merapu macam tu, macam mana nak berenang kuat, lari jauh dan nak naik basikal laju.



Aku : Makan hati

Buat Karn (Rasta Araii Wah) di Bangkok

Time has never stopped

and
one day when you wake up
you will discover that the pain is gone

and you will finally be able to smile
something you have not done for a long time

and maybe one day you may even laugh
just like the laughter you might have forgotten

Masa tidak pernah berhenti dan satu hari bila kamu bangun,
kamu akan dapati luka itu sudah tiada.
Dan kamu akhirnya sudah boleh senyum .....
sesuatu yang sudah lama kamu tidak lakukan.

Dan mungkin pada hari yang lain kamu akan ketawa ....
seperti tawa yang mungkin kamu sendiri sudah lupa.

Karn,

Smile Karn.



Smile


p/s:
Hoping to see you soon

Total Immersion Way Of Swimming

Relax Gila !!




Cantik Siut !

Laju pula tu.

Jangan Jawab Macam Tu Kat M@rtha Stewart Adik Oi

Tension dengan Emak Kepada Segala Pilihanraya, aku memilih untuk membuat kapkek. Mengikut resepi aku perlukan "1/2 Cup of Semi-Sweet Chocolate Chip". Jadi, aku dengan itu telah pergi ke satu "Kedai Keperluan Kek" yang ada di Jitra ini.

Aku ambil satu bungkus kecil semi-sweet chocolate chip dan ketika hendak membuat bayaran, aku bertanya kepada juruwang.

"Adik, kalau satu bungkus kecik ni, boleh dapat berapa "cup" ?
Setengah "cup" ka atau satu "cup"?"

Tanpa rasa bersalah kepada undang-undang peradaban masakan, M@rtha Stew@rt dan juga Chef W@n, beliau telah berkata:-

"Tengoklah ... jenis cawan apa kakak pakai"

I rest my case, My Lord.

The Day The Quran Cried

It's not a surprise that one of the last resorts 'they' could come up with was S@iful's oath. We all know that people would do just about anything to get their ways. This is not the first time THE BOOK has been a subject of of 'their' manipulation in proving a point or another. R@afidah had once used the same method, though as fas as I can recall she didn't exactly use the actual "lafaz" of oath, the Wallahi, Walillahi, Watallahi or Wabillahi.

The fact is, as you all know, one need not not to use the Quran to make an oath.

I am a bit disturbed and disgusted by "their" way of making use the Quran. To use the Quran only when they feel they need to for their political motive when the BOOK was sent down NOT for the main purpose for people to make oath. It's what inside of the Quran which is paramount, the whole guidance and laws for us all Muslim Mukmin to follow. Not a mere subject of being a witness for one's whatever motive.

I am asking "them",

Where did you place the Quran before ?

Where was the Quran when you were campaigning for the election?

Where was the Quran when you were sitting in Parliament?

Where was the Quran in your everyday life?

Why suddenly its very important for everyone to ask just anybody to make an oath before the HOLLY BOOK when you have never bothered to even peep what more to understand and follow whats inside of it ?

The day will come when the BOOK will testify for all that you did to it ...

For all that WE did to it

"Our Lord! we have been unjust to ourselves,
and if Thou forgive us not, and have (not) mercy on us,
we shall certainly be of the losers."

Al A'raf: 23

Cerita Nora

Nora ada banyak cerita lawaknya yang tersendiri. Ada cerita yang dia sendiri alami dan ada yang dia dengar dari orang. Sebagai seorang guru pastilah banyak cerita lucu yang dikutip Nora sepanjang perjalanan kariernya.

Adalah menjadi satu kemestian bagi setiap guru untuk mempunyai satu Buku Ringkasan, iaitu buku yang melaporkan setiap aktiviti yang dilakukakan oleh guru apabila mengajar. Mak dan Abah aku yang cikgu dulu pun ada buku ringkasan itu. Tapi kata Nora buku ringkasan sekarang lebih teruk dan lebih terperinci, kena cerita sebiji-sebiji kata Nora, matlamat pengajaran, kaedah yang digunakan, pemahaman murid dan entah apa-apa lagi lah serba-serbi yang diminta oleh Jabatan Pendidikan untuk diisi dalam buku ringkasan. Padahal, kata Nora, bukan semuanya guru-guru ikut pun apa yang ditulis.

Oleh kerana adalah sangat remehnya bagi sesetengah guru untuk menulis Buku Ringkasan, maka mereka-mereka yang malas menulis ini hanya akan kelam kabut menulis secara pecutan, apabila diminta oleh guru besar. Bayangkanlah kalau dah nak hampir setahun tak tulis Buku Ringkasan, jenuh patah tulang sendi nak menulis semuanya dalam masa yang terdekat.

Menurut hikayatnya, ada seorang guru lelaki yang sudah tidak menulis Buku Ringkasannya hampir beberapa purnama katanya. Oleh kerana guru besar sudah meminta beliau menyerahkan Buku Ringkasannya, maka pecah peluh lah guru lelaki ini, yang kita namakan sebagai Cikgu Mat saja, memandangakan berapa banyak punya benda yang dia nak kena tulis.

Maka diriwayatkan juga beliau telah meminjam Buku Ringkasan guru yang lain dan telah mengupah anak muridnya untuk menyalin setiap apa yang ditulis di dalam Buku Ringkasannya.

Hampa salin semua yang ada dalam buku ni

Bersinting lenganlah anak murid menyalin semuanya.

Dan dengan penuh lega dan senang hati kemudiannya Cikgu Mat menyerahkan Buku Ringkasannya kepada guru besar.

Namun demikian, setelah beberapa hari Cikgu Mat telah dipanggil oleh guru besar. Tertanya-tanya lah Cikgu Mat apakah sebabnya beliau dipanggil mengadap.

"Cikgu Mat,
bila masa yang Cikgu cuti bersalin ni...????"

Gulp!

Rupanya Cikgu Mat pinjam Buku Ringkasan Cikgu Rohaya yang baru saja melahirkan anak dan berada di dalam pantang.

Tidaklah pula Nora cerita apa yang terjadi pada Cikgu Mat selepas keluar dari bilik guru besar itu.

Sekian, adanya cerita.

It's Here - The Book

I know one of the things I dont really fancy Alor Setar or even Jitra is the lack of good book shop. The best we have is Popular but still its not big enough to cater good quality books for certain particular interest. At the most we could do is to drive to Penang to Borders (Queensbay) or MPH (Gurney Mall).

But Alhamdulillah with the internet and all the on-line shopping it provides, with just a few clicks plus a credit card, Kinokuniya and MPH would not hesitate to send you the books you want (that is, if they have it).

I ve been looking for this book like more than 5 years ago. Imagine that ! I found about Total Immersion through the internet when I first started swimming. I had no personal trainer and I did most of my research on swimming from the net. Back then I could still find most of Terry (Laughlin)'s writing about his innovation from the website (unlike now where you can only find excerpts from the book). I had printed and compiled them but thanks to my filing system, I ve lost them, together with the files in the computer too (that I have the Virus to thank).

And what a delightful surprise when I found the book in Kinokuniya's website. I made the purchase through their site and it took only two days from the day I ordered, for me to get hold of the book.

I am so excited, and hopefully the book will help me get into the pool in no time.

:-P

Just An Observation

A wife who doesn't give due respect to her husband,
would find it hard to respect other people too.

Buruk Tau Kalau Marah-Marah

Ya memang buruk sangat kalau kamu marah. Kamu nampak macam orang yang hilang diri. Kamu juga kelihatannya sangat tidak bijak bila kamu marah. Tambah-tambah lagi kalau orang tahu sebab yang kamu marah itu. Marah kalau tak bertempatlah yang paling buruk, seburuk-buruknya.

So, kalau nak marah, ikutlah cakap Nabi (Muhanmmad SAW) duduklah dulu, kalau dah memang sedang duduk, baring, tapi dah kalau kat ofis takkan nak baring bergolek atas lantai.....

....dah... pegi amik air sembahyang, kasi hilang itu buruk.

Syntax Error

What is wrong with
her
?

I am disappointed and I am angry. But I know its no use in retaliating, because the person I'm angry with will never change. She will always be the person she is. She will always think that she is better than me and that I am subjected to her and that I am beneath her.

And I think it is better to remain calm and not bring myself down to her level.

To Apologize Even When You Are Not Wrong

Sometimes you have to apologize even when you are not wrong because you have to feed the other person his ego; and most importantly you just want the work to get done.

This is especially so when you have to deal with some other departments who think that your work is at their mercy. It will become pointless to debate with them when you know they will never budge from their stand, let alone to admit their mistake.

They need to win the battle to make them feel good, but you know deep inside that the war is actually yours to be won eventually.

Hah !

Popo Demam

My poor baby is not feeling very well. Took him to see the vet two days ago for a few shots. Last nite he looked better and this morning I could see that he's s still a bit weak.

I have to keep watch on him, not to let him out of the house. And every time I hold him I keep on chanting this to his ear :-

Ya Allah, janganlah bagi Popo sakit

* Aku kalau demam telan panadol saja.


:-)

Everything Has Its Appointed Time

Everything.

When things don't turn out the way you want it to be, its not the time yet.

You pray. You hope. You wish. You long. You anticipate

..but if its not the time yet.. it wont happen.

And when it does happen, you will suddenly see all things clearly. You will see why HE didn't grant your wish earlier. You will notice whatever HE is granting you today does not revolve around you personally, it somehow tends to relate with some situations, some people, some circumstances, which you will understand why HE wanted you to wait and be patient, because sometimes, even when you are ready, the other persons involved might not be and the situations at the moment must have not permitted.


...and when it does happen, you will see how pleasing it is when all things fall into places, at the right time..and at the right moment.

Just like finishing the last few pieces of jigsaw puzzles, you suddenly see the whole picture and not only a few pieces out of 1000.

...and all you can say is

ALHAMDULILLAH

for

HE is Most Knowing

I Have A Few Clothes

Ok. I dont have that many working attire to wear everyday. In fact I ve been wearing the same clothes like a few times every month, and to certain extent, twice a week. Ya, I dont give priority to my working clothes unlike most. My Baju Kurung, the ones I ve been wearing every now and then are the courtesy of my mother. Its not something I'm proud of, but my mother still buys for me the cloth for baju kurung and she herself would send them to the tailor. My task would only be going to the tailor and pay for it. If not for my mother's effort, I wont have any baju kurung at all. I am very comfortable with the arrangement and I think my mom is too because everytime I go to the tailor to make payment, I always pay for hers too.

This entry has no relevant at all with Anwar's battle for PM seat, nor does it has any impact on Pak Lah's incapability to take control of anything that's going on in our country. N@jib too wont find these entry as threatening as the SD made by RPK.

But I guess its better to talk about my clothes than discussing about them......

*Actually I do have a few other clothes, but I'm waiting for the right size of my body to fit in. Ya I bought the dress one size smaller hoping at that time I would be a lot slimmer.

I'm still hoping..... (for the smaller size.. not for Anwar/Pak Lah/Najib)

Bila Aku Rindu

Menonton Ayat-Ayat Cinta semalam membuat aku menangis.


Ada sesuatu yang sangat menyentuh hati

Ada sesuatu yang menjadikan aku rindu....



pada yang telah lama aku tinggalkan

pada yang menjadikan aku sebagai aku



dan yang paling aku rindu

adalah

pada diri aku sendiri yg dulu

.

Some People Just Got It

I have to admit here how talented Hadie is when it comes to photography.
That same scene wont be as beautiful through my own lenses.

She just has it.

Popo The Four Legged Boy

"Mana pi gelas Ann kat dapur ni Mak?"

"Mak simpan habih semua dalam almari,
habih semua benda ada kesan dia..."


"Bukan boleh letak cawan gelas atas meja tu,
semua nanti dia masukkan mulut dia"



"Eshh..sapaaaa yang Mak dok bising nih...?"




"Tu laaah.... yang kaki empat tu..."

On The Run

I dont know how much more should I thank HIM for placing me in such a wonderful place like my new home now. The best thing that I enjoy most is the spacious road and the fresh air I get during my morning run. Yes, I m getting back on my feet again after almost a month of all the nity gritty of moving and getting accustomed to the new place. But I did start my cycling much earlier though.

I just hope I will get to meet other slow female runners like me around the area. Not that I dont like to run alone, but sometimes I think its nice to have a company who has more, if not the same, passion than me so that we could push each other. I heard theres a Jitra Running Club somewhere around; think I ll just ask around for more info on that . But on a second thought maybe I m still too slow to join a club. Let my feet get accustomed to a faster pace than the hare first.

In the meantime I'll just have to hang on to my iPod for a good and loyal company.

Afifah- Motien's Only Daughter

Pretending
Originally uploaded by anickue

Her original look when shes not making faces

:-)

Motien's

Motiens sons

Her daughter
a small version of Motien

Motien is worried about Najmi. That eldest son of hers is sitting for UPSR this year and shes worried because Najmi seems to be enjoying listening to songs more than studying.

"Ni No fon Najmi: 019******;
Hang tolong bagi semangat sikit kat dia.
Dia dok gheja dengar lagu....Macam aku dulu la..."

Well Njami is not in the pic. I will try to post his photo whenever I can.

Do You Believe In Dreams

I dreamed of my friend a few nights ago. We have not kept in touch for almost 10 years now. Blame it on me but I know this time its not my fault. The last time she called that night was somewhere in 1998 and she was so excited about her project which was making her RM20K richer every month. Ya, she wanted me to join her and she even suggested me to quit my newly appointed job. I was amazed by her excitement and she read my amazement as amused. So she hang up the phone.

And I have never heard from her ever since. But I know she is doing very very well, even though the RM20K monthly project didnt last that long, but it lasted long enough for her to get a good capital for her next project...and next ... and next. Yes, she s very successful now.

But am I regretful for not joining her...?

Well, no.

...... dan janganlah pula Anwar bersumpah dengan lafaz "WALLAHUU"......

Ya, adik-adik, kakak-kakak... lafaz sumpah hendaklah dengan sebutan "kasroh/tanda bawah" dan disebut dengan lafaz sumpah seperti :-

1. WALLAHII
2. TALLAHII; atau
3. LILLAHII

Ambil perhatian ya kalau suami atau bf yang bersumpah:-

Wallahuu Abang tak kawin lain

atau

Wallahuu Abang tak ada gf lain

Silalah ke dapur ambil pinggan dan cuba "aim" kan ke dada pasangan dan minta dia ulang sumpah dengan sebutan yang betul. Jika tidak layangkanlah pinggan itu ke dada beliau.

Cerekarama Politik

Aku rasa ramai yang rasa lelah dan penat dgn suasana politik Malaysia hari ini. Sepertinya hampir lemas rakyat Malaysia dibanjiri dengan drama politik membuatkan kita rasa negara kita sudah terhoyong hayang dengan bertimpa-timpa masaalah yang timbul berturut-turut dan berderet-deret.

Sayang sekali saat begini, aku begitu terasa kehilangan Dr M. Ya, dia sudah tidak relevan, tetapi Malaysia perlukan ketua yang dapat menjaga anak buah dan rakyatnya dengan baik. Dr M, meskipun penuh dengan "baggage"nya yang tersendiri tetapi dia mampu mengawal orang di bawahnya, sekalipun seperti ketua yang sangat digeruni dan ditakuti. Dalam masa yang sama aku juga mahu meletakkan salah kepada DR M yang terlalu mengongkong anak buahnya dulu di mana hampir setiap keputusan dibuat oleh Dr M sehingga sekarang tidak ada satu pun pemimpin kerajaan yang mampu membuat keputusan tegas yang tersendiri. Seperti ibubapa yang membuat segalanya untuk anak-anak, bila sahaja mereka tiada, anak-anak tak tahu apa benda pun !.

Lebih memburukkan keadaan, terdapat pula lah Hamba Allah yang bercita-cita nak jadi PM pada 16 September ini. Seorang Hamba Allah yang juga penuh drama, ulah dan sandiwara menjadikan suasana semakin kalut.

Ya, kamu mungkin terkejut. Tetapi aku memang tidak begitu yakin dan percaya dengan Hamba Allah yang seorang ini.

Rekodnya sebagai pejuang Islam seperti yang digembur bukanlah begitu baik ...........

Maaf.

My One and Only Popo

I ve been contemplating with the idea of getting Popo a friend. But Yan suggested me against it, because Popo has been an only cat for a few years already and that he may not like it or start to "merajuk". Some cats would resent their owner for bringing in a new mate in the house.

Jealousy is in their dictionary apparently.

But cK said:-

Why dont you ask Popo
"Popo tak mau payung emas kah.....?"

Pabila Bas Meninggalkan Aku

Kejadian seumpama ini sudah lama tidak terjadi pada aku.

Dan sudah hampir 10 tahun aku tidak menaiki kenderaan awam paling popular di negeri ini. Kali terakhir aku berulang alik naik bas ialah sewaktu aku mula bekerja dulu. Pun begitu bas itu sering menghampakan aku yang mana membuatkan aku terpaksa berjalan 4km ke bus stop di jalan besar...... dengan baju kebaya dan kasut tumit tinggi.... (ya aku kadang2 sangat feminine walaupun tidak suka memakai lipstick) kerana bas yang aku tunggu tidak muncul-muncul.

Pernah juga berlaku apabila bas tidak sampai-sampai dan oleh kerana aku sudah sangat-sangat terlewat, aku telah menahan satu kereta polis yang sedang lalu memintanya menghantar aku ke tempat kerja. Polis yang baik hati itu, walaupun agak terkejut, telah sudi menghantar aku pada pagi itu. Sebab itu walaupun ramai orang yang marah dan kata macam-macam pada Polis Malaysia, aku diamkan saja.

Dua kejadian itu (dimana yang pertama sangat kerap berlaku walaupun tanpa baju kebaya) tidaklah boleh dikira sebagai ketinggalan kerana taman yang aku duduk itu selalu dianggap oleh pemandu bas sebagai tempat orang yang berduit yang tak perlukan khidmat bas. Atas anggapan itu, pemandu bas selalu menipu syarikatnya dengan tidak mahu lalu di taman aku. Dia tidak tahu bahawa atas ketidak-prihatinannya itu, aku lah yang menjadi mangsa. Dia tidak tahu bahawa ada hamba Allah yang tidak berduit untuk beli kereta lagi waktu itu.

Ok. Balik kepada tajuk. Aku benar-benar ketinggalan bas pagi tadi bila aku "ter"bangun lewat dan sebaik sahaja aku sampai ke tempat menunggu bas, aku hanya sempat melihat punggung bas tersebut. Dengan pandangan sayu dan mata terkelip-kelip, aku terus juga memparkir kereta dan mengambil keputusan bahawa walau apa pun berlaku aku tidak akan membawa kereta. Aku bertekad untuk menunggu dengan harapan masih ada bas yang akan datang membawa aku ke tempat kerja.

Alhamdulillah, tidak sampai pun 15 minit, sebiji bas tiba dan aku sangat gembira kerana bas itu berhawa dingin.. yeahhh.... tidak seperti bas yang aku hanya sempat lihat punggungnya tadi yang seperti bas zaman P.Ramlee... bas yang baru tiba sangat selesa dengan tempat duduk yang empuk dan lapang. Kaki aku tidak lagi tersepit dengan tempat duduk depan.

Jika beginilah keadaan bas yang aku 'discover' pada hari ini pada pukul 8.15, aku rasa kalau aku 'ter'bangun lewat lagi sekali esok pun tak pa nih.......

Oh ya perjalanan hanya mengambil masa lebih kurang 30 minit .

Memang bas aku bas lama, tapi tidaklah seburuk ini

Ini bukan gambar kejadian sebenar antara aku dan bas

aku pakai kebaya ok !

bukan sari

:-P

A Thought ....

I had posted an entry the last time warning people not to get involved with married couple's feud. I ve heard so many stories where a best friend could turn to be an enemy just because she told the wife about the affair of the husband. The case could be vice versa too and I used to wonder why the wife/husband would always listen and accept their spouses' excuses and justifications even when it is a clear cut or caught in the act case.

But now I know why. The reason is because the partner would always want to believe what they want to believe, they want to hang on to every single explanations, justifications, excuses which are all lies most of the times, because if they do not take the "accused" words, they would have to deal with the most difficult situation and might soon have to make a life changing decision. Instead of continuing with any unwanted ugly battles and scenes with the accused, its much better to gulp in everything he/she said and move on...


Case closed.

One continue to hope and pray that it will never crop out again....





....too bad......because sometimes, it will...

Its Not That Bad

Ya... memang bukanlah sesuatu yang teruk jika naik bas ke tempat kerja. Saya tahu kalau yang tinggal di KL, naik bas atau LRT atau tren, semuanya itu bukanlah sesuatu yang asing lagi. Tapi, bila tinggal di bandar kecil, atau negeri kecil seperti di utara ini, menaiki kenderaan awam bukanlah sesuatu yang ditunggu-tunggu atau disukai. Kenderaan awam yang paling utama pula hanyalah bas.

Bas kat sini pula bukanlah bas yang macam Intrakota ka Rapid ka... yang di KL sana. Di sini bas yang ada biasanya yang macam kamu semua tengok dalam cerita P Ramlee tu, yang macam dalam cerita "Masam-masam Manis"; hah macam tu lah bas yang saya naik pagi tadi..... Cuma yang bezanya saya dengan "Cikgu Murni", tak adalah lelaki hensem yang mengorat saya .

Few Adjustments

There are some things which I find that need a few adjustments to my new life now in Jitra. For instance:-

1. The Distance

Its now a 23 km drive from the new house to my office when it used to be only 7 km drive all these years. So, everyday its now more than a 40km drive. Hmmmm....

2. The Tolls

If I am late (which I find almost every other day) I can just use the highway which cost me RM4 to and fro; RM1.60 for the the first toll and another RM0.40 for the second one. And for one month I d have to spend close to RM120 on toll alone. Even if I dont use the first toll (by taking another route to go out through the second toll) I still have to spend almost RM32 monthly.


Now since there's a price hike on the fuel, I am seriously thinking of other alternatives to commute to work; yes, Jamis does come to my mind ... but to cycle 46 km everyday .. oh come on, even a pro will give it a second thought.. (kan Aini kan kan kan). Going is ok.. but the coming back time would be a dread, especially after all hard (?) day at work. I might have to take the taxi for me and Jamis to go back to Jitra which will defeat the purpose since the taxi price wont be RM15 anymore (before the hike).

The other choice is the BUS. Hmm.. I can park my car near the bus station in Jitra and take the bus straight to my workplace.

The price of the "I Love Jitra" thing

Oh ya, since I have to start early to work, I cant cycle and run in the morning anymore except during the weekend. So I have now started my cycling at night; quite safe actually. I dont know about my running yet.. but I'll figure it out when I buy the spot light to attach to my body during the running.......

Dia Mai Dah

JCPenney online dah mai dah..... !!


Excitednya aku


http://www.jcpenney.com.my/



Ingat nak beli boot satu lah





... murah saja RM134.99





*maklumlah kat Jitra ni snow kadang
sejuk sampai ke kaki

Perempuan Macam Polis .....

Evidence dah penuh keliling pinggang
masih mahukan Confession !

:-)

I Love Jitra

So, I'm getting into the third week of staying in the new house now. Actually its not exactly new in the true sense, its a second hand house which I bought from an old couple who made the house as their vacation/transit house. A semi detached house just like I always wanted, not so small and not so big. I dont think I can handle a bigger house. My priority is the windows, for the wind to go in and out; good ventilation is a must. I cant stand a house with no windows or just one or two.

I couldnt thank HIM more for making my dreams and my wishes come true. The surrounding is just nice too; fresh air, good neighbours who are not so nosy but still keeping their eyes on my every moves (haha..who wouldnt when a single lady with a racing bike moves in). Well at least they dont come around and start asking questions.

My house is not very far from the Jitra small town. You can find almost everything within a 5 - 7 minutes drive, the small mall with its own cineplex and bowling alley, Old Town cafe, Pizza Hut, KFC, and the rows of food stalls and some other small shops with reasonable price goods. And if you need to go to Alor Star, you can take the highway which is about 1km away from my place. What more could I ask...?

Alhamdulillah

And of course Jitra is nice for my cycling and running too. Like I ve said before, its quite hilly and the road's condition is not bad.

Soon a makcik with tudunng on a road bike would be normal sight here in Jitra.

Popo Was In Trauma, The Kitchen Cabinet Still Hasnt Come

I ve moved in to the new house. Most of the things were shoved into the big black plastic bags, and some thrown into the boxes with a thought that the unpacking and finding things would be dealt with later. (Sure enough... I could not find my my shirt after that).

The main issue I had to face during the transition was Popo. It was such a traumatic experience for him and for me too for not knowing how to handle him. He was so terrified with all the bustling, sounds of things being moved and voices of strangers in the house. It was apparent I was not prepared when it came to him. At one point he was so scared that he went into hiding and I found him later on with full of dirts and oil ( i think he must have been hiding under a vehicle). I put him inside the toilet and later into a cage and Popo went berserk. He had never been caged before.

When I brought him inside the new house, he was still inside the cage, crying and complaining but a bit calmed as he started to see things which are familiar to him, like the sofas, his play tent, Jamis (my bike, not a Javanis worker) and a few other things which are not new to his sniffing nose.

Since there were still some strangers inside the house, he was still in shock and when I let him out of the cage, he went into a corner and stayed there for quite some times. He was only relaxed after being coaxed with some fresh shrimps and the sound of my sweet tender loving care voice. (Perlukah dijelaskan di sini suara aku sweet? Ya, perlu.).

Anyways, after two nights at the new house he is now adjusting himself well with the surroundings, sniffing and snooping around.

Alhamdulillah.


Oh ya.... I love my new house !

Just A Thought

Sometimes, well most of the times, it is best to acknowledge the mistake we make and apologize. Our ego may not like it, but if you suppress the ego, you can stand taller without even looking like a looser. But if you keep on staying in the denial state, you would discover how hard it is to find all sorts of excuses and justifications for the mistake made. Just admit it and move on. People may or may not forget the blunder but they will definite respect you more for the courage you put on when you admit it to them.

If you keep on denying and giving excuses and worse still if you start blaming it on other people, it tells a lot about the person you are and you may not like if if you know what we think of you.

The Effect of The Green Tiles

I am finally moving out of my rented house insya Allah this weekend. I'm stressing insya Allah , God Will, and with all my wills, hopefully I will be done with the packing by that time. Theres nothing more that I detest more other than three things; packing, packing and unpacking. Of course, its the way of the world, we may not like doing things we re doing but we know we have to do them anyway.

The Contractor is on the run again. He s been hiding behind the wife literally and physically, but I have to give him some credits for his lack of thinking here. Firstly, he should have known that by causing me troubles he would definitely be black listed by all my friends and secondly he must have read my name card wrongly about my profession. Had he understood the meaning of my work, he would know I CAN be mean. I was angry at first, but now all I'm interested is to get things done.

I had to take things into my hand and continued where he left. I bought the tiles and everything and had to ask HIS worker to finish it off. Shukri (the worker) said he would have definitely finished everything off long ago had there been no delay in the tiles. Its so odd that the tiles for the bathroom never came. I bought the tiles for the bathroom and took the opportunity to even change the tiles in the kitchen. The kitchen tiles was apparently a huge mistake. I thought the color and texture were cool to my so called artistic eyes but I guess since it was put up to the walls, it didnt look that good and cool anymore. cK was even asking me "What were you thinking when you chose the color?" Ok, I admit it that that green was horrible.

Ever since I changed the green kitchen tiles, things are starting to fall into places, even though the contractor still wont pick up my phone, his wife has put on a brave face and took things into her hands. The wife apparently works under him too. I cant get angry with the wife as its not her fault and all I know I have to work with her so that I could get my kitchen cabinet ready in time.

Now come to think of it.. all the delays with the house must be due to that horrible ugly tiles. The thing is that when I first bought the house I asked Allah "Please let me have a beautiful house". And Allah The All-Knowing must have known that HE can never granted me that wish if the green tiles is still around.

Alhamdulillah. Allah Hu Akbar.

Things I Learn

Ok. I know my heart beat has never touched 40bpm, the lowest was 79 of which i tried my best lying down in bed not moving an inch and trying my best not to even blink my eyes too, afraid that the blinking would erupt the beat.

and so I learned to listen to my own body instead of struggling to follow others' workout. I have to get it in my head, Aini is much younger and she s been at it for some times now. I have to accept that I cannot climb the hill like her at the moment, even though I do think that i dont have issues when coming down, and thats because my size is double her size.

and so i learned the best way to get it going without being "overtrained" and get all cranky and jeorpadize my relationship with everybody, is by doing it slow. Lower my heart rate to between 60-75% of the maximum heart beat, during the workout so that I could teach my body to burn the stored fat (of all my staple food of pastas pizza lasagna) first rather that groping for the carbo.

ok and so i learned i need not have to have a Prince to make me a good cyclist. I need to push more to pedal at higher cadence without even bouncing on the seat. A carbo frame wont help me at that.

and so I am learning how to balance my energy for running and cycling. I could run 10km a few weeks ago, but now, I'm back to walking and running and its such a torment to even run 3 km. My cycling on the other hand is getting better.


Now, perhaps some swimming would balance everything up ..........

Posisi Aerodynamic

Kalau kita baca pasal teknik kayuh basikal ni, kita akan jumpa bahawa posisi yang paling bagus untuk mengayuh dengan lebih laju ialah dengan posisi aerodynamic. Posisi ini membolehkan kita menambahkan kelajuan dengan mengurangkan rintangan angin dan menggunakan tenaga yang sedikit apabila berkayuh.

Memang tertungging-tungging tonggek bongkok apa segala para pengkayuh basikal nak bagi badan dalam aero position, sakit habih pinggang bahu semua (aku lah tu...)

Tapi...bila aku solat... baru aku terperasan......... kalaulah aku ni rajin buat solat sunat beratus-ratus rakaat, pasti aku tiada masaalah naik basikal...

Sebabnya... tiada posisi yang lebih aerodynamic melainkan waktu ruku' dan sujud .............

Saturday Ride

I had a good ride yesterday even though at the last 10km I was really gasping for air ..

I started out quite early from the house, right after Subuh prayer. At first I was planning to go out as early as 5.45 am and stop by at Nora's house for the prayer before proceeding to Changloon, but then I thought I might as well start from the house rather than knocking on Nora's door when shes still in Dream Wonderland. I had done all the packing that night and so its only a matter of dressing up and putting on the make up ( kidding..make up hapanya nak kayuh basikal) and sped off to Changloon in a matter of 25 mins. I took the highway.

Alor Star is a very flat land, you wont find any hills around and we dont have that many flyovers here to try climbing. Thats why I always love cycling in Jitra because of the few small hills here and there. This time around anyways, I had Changloon in mind, thinking of climbing that hill again on the way to UUM and make a turning to go to Perlis through Pauh and go down to Kodiang before coming back to Changloon. The ride should be around 56km.

I only had one bottle of plain drinking water and a power bar. What a mistake, I should have put Gatorade instead, as I learned later in the ride.

Its only after the 5th km when I met with THAT HILL, and since I'm quite new, the climb was really a test. When I started to climb I was pedaling at almost 60rpm and when I was about to reach the top my HRM was shouting at more than 160 and the speed was at about 10-13km/h. I had to stop to at the top to make sure the heart dropped at 131 before coming down. But the climb was worth it because what a descend I had. I was going down at 51.6km/h !!! Yeehaaaaa.... Last week I only managed to get 44km/h doing the same hill.

I had to face a few small hills afterwards and more climbing before coming to the round-about in front of UUM for the turn. The returning trip from UUM was not as bad as it was now a matter of going down and I could try the big gears for a speed. Again I had to face the HILL and tortured my heart, my feet and all of my body for the second time. I was climbing at the last few meters to the top at 5-6km/h !!

I took the Changloon-Kuala Perlis highway which was about 13km from the UUM-Changloon junction and took a turn to Pauh. The ride on the highway was smooth. I was pedaling at the rate of 25-30km/h which to me is quite fast as my usual average is about 21km/h. Maybe this time around I was trying pedaling with the big gear. Pauh was nice and the road was not as bad as I had expected. I was cycling under shades of trees and it was quite refreshing, especially after coming from the scorching hot sun at the high way. It was cool and relaxing from Pauh to Kodiang but when I reached the latter the road was apparently under construction *sigh* . I did not have to suffer that much as after about 400m I then made a left turn at the famous junction of Kodiang towards Changloon again.

This road should take about 13km but I was very close to bonking. I did take a few sips during the ride and I even stopped for a half of the powerbar at one point but my energy level was very low. I saw a shabby closed old shop hut with and old rattan chair with cushion outside and decided to take a break. I finished the other half of the powerbar and just sat there watching the kampung folks going up and down. After 5mins or more I continued the ride but I was having a tough time. The road greeted me with many ups and downs, and its all about "oh no..another climb" and "ahh yes...coming down" and "oh no..another climb again..".... It was not supposed to be that bad, all are very small climbs, but since I was close to worn-out, I was crying all the way..! And there were a few kids on the road who were trying to have fun with me by pulling some rope in the middle of the road (like coming to finishing line) that I had to shout out loud "Wehhhh Hoii..! Jangan ! Jangan !! Tak mau mainnnn.. Jatuh nanti...!!" Ya, I was cranky because I was tired.

I finally saw the light at the end of the tunnel, when I saw Changloon town again ! Alhamdulillah. Since I was dead beat, I didnt bother to use the proper lane, and since my car was not very far from the junction and all the cars were not speeding, I took the incoming car lane and carefully rode on the right side of the road. Yes, it was dangerous, but I took the chance.

I had never been happier to see my car again!


Dist: 58.8KM
Av : 21.7 km/h
Mx: 51.6 km/h

Heart Rate

Av: 148
Mx: 164

Cycling Is Fun

I want to go, I want to go
To the greenfileds with you baby
C'mon lets go. c'mon lets go
Wo Wo Wo

Riding on a bicycle together
We could ride forever
C'mon letes go, C'mon lets go
Wo Wo Wo

Riding on the cycling road
Everyone is having fun
Riding on the cycling road
Nobody knows our cycling road


Shonen Knife
Cycling Is Fun

Adik Dan Boifrennya Yang Jaguh Lari

Tiba-tiba aku teringat cerita Adik yang beria-ria cerita pasal boifren baru dia. (Adik baru darjah 3 ok waktu itu).

"Kak Ann boifren Adik tu best !"

"Ya ka..?"

"Ha ahh... best wooh dia... dia lari kuat tau.... lajuuuuu !"

"Ahaa..."

"Dalam sekolah tu dia yang paling lari laju sekali. Adik kalau main dengan dia, tak larat tauu nak ligan*... "

"Uhhh.. hebatnya"

"Ha ahh.. dia lari laju sungguh, kalau Kak Ann lawan lari dengan dia pun, Kak Ann pun kalahhhh..."


Aku, dalam hati. "Mak aii.. banding aku dgn boifren dia pulak."

*kejar