25 Things

Sara Tagged me, so here it goes :

1. I never liked cats, but now I have one at home which I love to death. I read books about cats and did research on them before I went to the wet market looking for one.

2. I wore white tudung like school girls and only tried to wear colored ones recently, because I had this idea that only white tudung goes with my face.

3. I dont like to fold newly bought newspapers

4. I flip open my magazines carefully and I cant stand people flipping the pages roughly

5. I jumped into the fountain pool in front of Masjid Zahir when I was 8 because I love just any kind of pool as long as there s water in it and because I was impulsive

6. I also ran and jumped into a small river when I was 4 after my father, who was fishing, told me to stay in the car.

7. I never finished the skirt we had to make in Standard 6.

8. I played trumpet when I was 11 after I joined the school band, and I played "Widuri" song, solo, with my trumpet, that same year during a stage show at the end of the school term

9. I dont mind people making mistake, I just cant tolerate bad attitudes.

10. I am quite a sharp shooter when it comes to shooting netball or basketball. I always win when playing "the ladder" (basketball) even with the boys

11. I put off things until the last minute. That panic attack can boost my inspiration and creativity .. ecehh..

12. I am a very optimistic person; to the extend that a friend once told the others NOT to tell me if they had a crush on any boys because "Ann will be so positive and optimistic about your crush that you'd believe you WILL or CAN get the boy"

13. My mind works wonders that I cant control it most of the times. I may seem to be listening but my mind is actually somewhere else. You have to help bring me back to earth sometimes.

14. I sleep on one side of the bed to make room for my books magazines ibook phone pencils notebooks tudung ipod hangers....

15. I am a "Jack of Many Trades; Master of None" because I have difficulty focusing on the current interest for too long and I soon move on to another activity, but most of my pursuits will come and go round and round like a circle.

16. I read "The Firm" (John Grisham) 4 times

17. I love Calvin n Hobbes ! And I still buy The Archies sometimes.

18. Not all perfumes suit me, I had to give away/sell some perfumes I bought just because they didnt go well with me

19. I am ok without air-conds. In fact sometimes I feel more comfortable with the air-cond off in my room at the office. I dont have one in my house.

20. When I was small I "swam" with my hands and feet flapping on my grandmother's carpet, imagining it to be the sea or river. And dont ask me why I decided to put my underwear on my head as “goggles” during the "swim".

21.I dont have issues taking busses to work or go places. And I dont mind walking too, even if its a long one, but not in heels of course.

22. I had a crazy internet love relationship with a Palembang guy many many years ago and I was even prepared to move "seberang".

23.I can listen to people's problems and help them solving the problems. I put different perspective to their problems and help them see things differently.

24. I used to easily believe whatever people told me. A friend who was staying in Sik told me once that her house had a swimming pool and I believed her. Her house was actually a very poor kampung house and I followed her mother went rubber tapping deep in the woods.

25.White is the new black for me

:-)

I now tag Sekut, AT80, Blue, Ijul, My Sister, IsBatuBintang, Ayu Hassan and of course Hadie.

Hani Finally Joined The Club

My cousin is now officially a wife !

:-)

Judgmental

We all have different values in life. What you think is important to you might not be so to other persons. And what some other persons consider to be the top on their priority list may not be so on yours. 

Its a matter of how to compromise with all these different values and how much you want to lean and bend backwards or forward so as to accommodate with other people's  values. 

Even so, I still think that when it comes to certain issues and matters, we might discover that most people would be standing on the same ground of values, and it would be difficult for us to understand those who do not stand on that same ground.

I am still trying to understand this certain issue I m facing and I m so close to label a  few people as "very uncouth".

I wish I dont have to be judgmental but like I said, on certain issues, I do expect us all to be on the same stage. 

My mistake.

:-|

Remember That Time ....

Dont you love this song ?

It reminds us of the many things in life
takes us to the trailer journey of our existence
reaches our soul;
yearning for more
so that we appreciate just every moments
because most of them
might never come again for the second time


:-)

My Mother

I never had a good relationship with my mother. She was one of the 'garang' teachers in school. One you would never dare to come across. The one you will remember all through out your life because she pinched you in the stomach for forgetting to bring your PJ trousers.

So you can imagine, I lived with that teacher.

Her mere presence intimidated me.It was never easy to be left alone with her in a room. I would literally suffocate because it seemed that she breathed in all the air in the room and left me choking. I was always terrified of her. She had this power over me that I could still see her eyes watching me even when shes miles away. Slowly I began to create a space between her and me. And because she could never really reach me, I suspected that she was going through my personal things and diary so as to keep track of my ongoing activities. To this day, I still find it hard to write a diary, but I do find comfort in writing this blog because my mother still needs someone to switch on her Tetris computer game.

It took me a lot of courage to break away from her authoritarian power over me. She was always challenging and provoking just to hurt me. And how she played the game of guilt, like most mothers do, so that she could still hold the chain on my neck. But I always tried not to cry in her presence during any of her scoldings unless when the pain was so much to bear. I cried in the bathroom, on the way to school on my bicycle, in my sleep and I always felt that I was no good, never good enough and a sinner for always making her angry. Sometimes at night when I was crying myself to sleep I would pray and promise to Allah that I would be a good daughter to her.

The reason why women should get married at certain age is because Allah wants you to get out of your parents' house. But as my jodoh wasn't (and still isn't) around the corner, it was difficult on my mother too for having a single daughter jumping around the house even when I had started working at the time. She was feeling like I was still depending on her by still hanging around the house even though I did all I could to pay my share in the house like settling the bills. I think she took it as a sign of weakness and still treated me like I was 10. The pressure was so tense.

My mother could never imagine I would be doing anything against her wish and command. She would always say " If you dont like staying here, get out of my house". I didnt take the words as a challenge but I did feel like I had to get out of the house. But you see, this is Alor Star, not KL, its just not done for a daughter to go out and rent a house within the same town of her parents. But I did just that. All hells broke loose when she found out I wanted to move out. But I made my decision because I knew, had I stayed on, it would be more difficult for the two of us. I needed my space and even though she would never admit it, my mother too needed to see less of my face. It was not easy for me and to her it was the ultimate resistant on my part.

I prayed everyday to Allah for my relationship to be better with my mother. Ya, everyday, during my prayers and even when driving in my car. The chant of "Ya Allah, please make my relationship with my mother better and better. Please forgive me Ya Allah" was endless.

After the move, I still kept on going back to see her every now and then, to prove to her that I was not going away from her. I would always be her daughter no matter what and she would always be my mother in this world and in the hereafter. Allah IS Most Merciful because our relationship does get better in time. She started to see and take me as an adult, not pulling my strings so as to make me follow her. She confides in me and I would have never imagined that I could actually have a talk with her. We call each other over the phone every now and then. I also learn to look at her differently; to see the background where she comes from and the reasons for her behavior and from there on I try to understand her hopes, her fears, and her frustration. I see my mother now not only as a mother but first as a woman like many of us, with all our own different baggage.

You can never expect a person to change, but what you can do is to change your reaction towards them. You have to have a certain control over your own feelings not to let other people's actions affect you. Sometimes you have to make stand and not to let anyone, yes anyone push you around. I know now, even when I make a stand to my mother, its not that I'm being 'derhaka', the only thing is that I must find away on how to go about it so that my mother wont feel hurt with me; to explain to her the reasons for my stands or actions. Its much easier these days because she has accepted the fact that I am no longer her 10 year old daughter.

I had a hard way of putting my relationship with my mother to where it is now. You see, my mother never actually changes, she sometimes still tries to come up with her tricks and antics to have her own way, but she knows now that she is dealing with an adult daughter who wont want to be treated any other way. I have somehow earned her respect and my mother too has earned my love.

Ayahnda

Ayahnda,

Sewaktu Abang Syahidan marah-marah 

bawa kawan-kawan meluahkan tidak puas hati 

dengan penuh perasaan di hadapan pintu gerbang dulu .... 

adakah Ayahnda semurka begini juga ..???

Apakah Ayahnda lebih sayangkan Abang Syahidan ?

Bukankah kami juga anak-anak Ayahnda ?

:-|

When The Clothes Are Becoming Smaller and Smaller

I am fat now.

It's all because of the PKR downfall in Perak.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Of course,

I need to blame somebody or something

Don't I

?

:-|

The Dragon Is Impossible

Kedah V Arumugam has submitted his resignation, necessitating a by-election soon for the Bukit Selambau state seat.

It is learnt that Arumugam had decided to throw in the towel following tremendous pressure on him and his family to defect to B*ris*n N*sion*l.

source: Malaysiakini

You Malaysians had fed the baby dragon ever since he was born more than 50 years ago. You kept on feeding him even when he started to deceive and betray you. He grew to become the Monster he is now, impossible, spoiled and wild. You knew he was selfish, thinking only of himself. He never cared about you. He took many of your possession into his pocket and claimed his You kept on trusting him even when you knew he lied to you many many times. Its sad because you wanted so much to believe what you wanted to believe.

Its too late to tame him now. Even when you took away his five toys, he went crazy and berserk. He's hurt. Couldn't believe that you don't really want him anymore. Being a beast that he is, he is now doing many of the unthinkable unethical and beastly actions. Like many of the Crooks in the Malay movies, he is now laughing " Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha"

Its all your fault.





:-|

*MNO Menjunjung Daulat Tuanku

"Your Father's Head!!!"

(cuba terjemahkan ke bahasa Kedah)

Baru kamu akan rasa "feel" nya !

Perak Story

Agak susah bagi sesuatu parti yang dibina dan berasaskan kepentingan individu, tanpa matlamat yang lebih jitu dan utuh, untuk benar-benar berjaya. Apalagi bila logo parti juga berlukisan dari sebelah mata yang lebam. Seawal penubuhan lagi aku sudah merasakan hayat hidup yang tidak begitu lama dan pastinya akan menghadapi masaalah. 

Lebih bermasaalah lagi bila agenda peribadi dan dendam lama masih belum puas ditempiaskan. Semuanya semata-mata kerana mahu membuktikan 'beliau' mampu mengungguli kerusi pertama. Mahu menjelir lidah kepada "boss" lama bahawa "Aku tetap boleh jadi PM". Tergopoh gapah menepuk gendang menyangka ramai yang akan menyeberang. Modus Operandi yang dipakai menjatuhkan parti di Tanah Di Bawah Bayu satu masa dulu dan juga yang dipakai semasa tiada kesabaran mahu menjatuhkan No: 2 , rupanya tidak lagi boleh dipakai.

Aku juga merasakan antara punca ialah bila beberapa wakil yang dipilih untuk mewakili parti memperjuangkan hak rakyat sepertinya tidak begitu terperinci proses pemilihannya. Ada yang seperti tangkap muat sahaja. Dan ada yang dipilih juga masih belum teruji "track-record". 

Kadang orang membuat pilihan bukan kerana kamu itu hebat atau bagus. 

Ramai yang memilih alternatif yang disuakan kerana kebencianyang amat sangat dengan yang sedia ada.

Aduh, masih tidak mampukah membaca gerak lawan? Gerak teman dulu yang pernah bersama bawah satu selimut satu bantal. Bukankah ramai dari kamu orang mereka ? Sejarah sudah pernah menulis betapa kotor dan hinanya teknik yang boleh mereka gunakan. Mengapa masih juga tetap gagal  mengesannya ?

Aku sudah kata dulu, bukankah lebih baik menfokuskan 5 negeri tersebut. Tidak perlu lagi untuk bergendang menari bersorak untuk jadi Perdana Menteri. Sabarlah dulu. Buktikan dulu di lima negeri.

Tidak perlu juga menunding jari mengata musuh jahat

kerana itu memang hakikat

tetapi bolehkah ini terjadi  jika kubu sendiri KUAT ?

Ahh......Sayang seribu kali sayang. 

Negeri di tangan tergadai ke tangan orang.

:-|

Cikgu Tam My Grandmother

My grandmother asked me the same question "Ann baru balik kerja ka ni?" every 3 minutes and I would keep on giving the same answer everytime "Ya Tok".

Tok is about 84 years old now. She stays in bed all the time but still has the strenght to attend to her every other calling to the loo. She stays with Pak Ngah and family and I could never thank them enough for taking care of Tok.

There must be a reason why Allah takes some of our memories away when we grow old. How would we feel waking up at 80 to find that most of our friends have either passed away or bedridden. How would we feel knowing that our favourite grand daughter didn't turn up to visit us last week ? Its good that Tok forgets sometimes as there are things that might upset or hurt her had she finds out. Not that we should take advantage of that but acknowledging the way of life and its rule would at least make us feel less sorry for them.

:-|

Amni

Ni hah budak yang tanya aku:-

Kak Ann ni kaya ke sederhana ?

I m Not Afraid To Stand Alone

By Native Deen

Why cant we promote more of this to the Muslim teenagers ?

try to find their other song "Intentions"

pasti menusuk


:-|

Ask And You Shall Be Given

The power of asking

I never knew,

that if you're lucky,

 your room can be upgraded to a better one

just by asking !

(",)

Apakah Ertinya Ini ...?

Berjalan dengan membawa beg perjalanan
bersama beg tangan lagi

Tidak membawa backpack





Nasib baik tidak memakai kasut bertumit tinggi



Agaknya sudah sampai masa aku semakin matang dan dewasa


:-P

Doa Kami Bersamamu

Rembulan Menangis

Rembulan menangis
di serambi malam..
Intan buah hatimu dicabik tangan-tangan serigala

Bintang-bintang muram,
beku dalam luka ..
Untukmu saudaraku kami semua turut berduka

Lolong burung malam di rimba
melengking menyayat jiwa
Tangis kami pecah di batu
duka kami remuk di dada
Doa kami bersama-sama untukmu,
untukmu

Angin pun menjerit
badai bergemuruh..
Semuanya marah
hanya iblis terbahak, bersorak


Lolong burung malam di rimba
melengking menyayat jiwa
Tangis kami pecah di batu
duka kami remuk di dada
Doa kami bersama-sama untukmu
untukmu, untukmu, untukmu, untukmu

Ebiet G Ade


Apa yang kita sudah lakukan untuk membantu mereka ?

:-|

Apakah Bedanya .....?

Semuanya kan tetap sama

:-|

Kalau Nak Cari Barang Kawin Ajak Saya Ke Padang Besar

Ya, 

saya

How Much Do You Value Yourself

Sometimes I wonder how much do we really value ourselves ? Or do we even care to make evaluation of ourselves to find out our strengths and weaknesses. Trying to see ourselves from another point of view, comparing with others, to see the goodness in them so that we can learn to be more like them, and to also see their weaknesses so that we can check whether we also have the same traits in us and at the very least learn from their flaws.

Or maybe sometimes by doing this evaluation process we may find out that maybe we have over rated or undervalued our selves. Perhaps we have given too much credit for ourselves more than we deserve. Or may be we think too small of ourselves when we do actually have some potentials that we never bother to discover.

When we think too highly of ourselves we may lead ourselves to being arrogant overconfident conceited ... and people may not like that

But when we are so timid and think so small about our abilities, people may never see the potentials in us and if they are not nice they may step on you too .....

I hope to be able to asses more of myself and my potentials this year so that I may be a better person than before.

Selamat Maal Hijrah dan Selamat Tahun Baru

:-)

Happy Belated New Year

Blessed is the man who always kept the life after death in his view,
who remembered the Day of Judgment through all his deeds,
who led a contented life and who was happy
with the lot that Allah had destined for him

Imam Ali AS

:-|

Secret Recipe, I Aint Going For Your Cheesecake No More

 Yeehaaaa ... !

:-)

Kamu Percaya Bunian ?

Kalau kamu percaya Bunian ...

Adakah kamu juga percaya 'tahi' nya ....???

:-P

Apabila Anis Marahkan Kassim Selamat

Bila Anis baca entry pasal Kassim Selamat hari tu, dia terus jadi marah.

Untuk membuktikan bahawa pemain biola bukan bodoh seperti Kassim Selamat yang menggarpukan matanya itu, adik aku yang satu itu terus membeli biola dan mendaftarkan diri ke kelas musik.

Nanti kalau bakal ibu mertua Anis menjerit marahkan lelaki yang pilih Anis, 

Siapa Anis Awatif tu ???!!!

....lawyer ???!!! majistret ..???!!!

.... aku tak taulah bakal adik ipar aku tu nak jawab apa....

:-p

But My TV Is Too Small For My Game

I am a believer that the idiot box should not be the main star of a home. I always do. I dont want the box to get all the attention. It should be last in anyone's list of priorities when designing the interior of a house. That is why I didnt put the TV in the living room.... and thats why I bought a small one .... (never mind the tight budget reason)

But now .. since I ve been playing PS2 Cake Mania .... I am starting to think that the TV is too small for me to see the CAKES !

At times I cant even figure out what type of cakes the customers are asking ......

Sheshhh.....

ps: Even Hadie refuses to watch movies with my TV ... she said her laptop screen is much bigger than my TV .... !

True Colors

You don't get to see the real color of a person unless and until something happens.

And when things happen and the person shows you his real color, you get surprised and you baffled as to how come this person is behaving this way.

I guess its not that he has changed or anything. But you think he HAS changed because of the new circumstances or situations. The person now who you think has changed is the exact same person you've known before. He has never changed. Its just that there's a part inside of him that never got to the surface because the situations for that particular behaviour to submerge never arise.

Sometimes the signs were already there. The signs of some of his true colors. But we just ignore and chose to close one eye. The reason being, because we know we are not perfect either and we have our own flaws and rainbows of characters that never get to the stage too.

The thing now is if the colors are shown by the person, do we have the generosity to accept them ?


:-\

Bercakap Sendiri (Bukan Seperti Min)

Adakalanya kita merasa tidak begitu selesa dengan sesuatu keadaan
namun kita tidak mampu berbuat apa-apa apatah lagi untuk merubahnya
Ada hati yang perlu dijaga walau jiwa sendiri sangat tidak mampu menerimanya

Cuba untuk memberontak, tapi kita bukan lagi remaja
Hari-hari memberontak bukan lagi milik kita

Menjadi dewasa memang bukan yang menyenangkan
ada masa kita terpaksa menelan dan menghirup semua
sambil menahan diri daripada meluah dan/atau memuntah

Rasa yang benar di dalam hanya mampu disimpan semat di dada

Ada kalanya batasan ugama dan adat membuat dan memaksa-maksa kita rasa bersalah
dengan perasaan dan rasa kita sendiri,

lalu kita pun lebih mudah menghakim diri sebelum orang lain menghukum


:-|

Min

Masih ingat entry dulu bila si aku ditegur seseorang yang membuatkan aku rasa aku begitu muda ? Nama jejaka itu Min. Aku tahu namanya pun daripada mulutnya sendiri yang membahasakan dirinya sebagai Min.

Min bukanlah orang yang asing di sekitar kawasan ofis aku dan Pekan Rabu. Badannya agak gempal berambut lebat pendek dan agak berkerinting. Yang membuat dia agak menarik perhatian ialah kerana Min agak 'lembut' dan seksi. Seksi kerana t-shirt yang dipakainya akan digunting luas hingga menampakkan kedua-dua bahunya. Dan Min juga berjalan melenggang sambil bercakap seorang diri dengan satu beg plastik di tangannya.

Setelah beberapa minggu selepas sapaannya yang pertama itu, kami bertemu lagi. Kali ini kami berjumpa di tempat parking kereta ketika aku baru sahaja hendak melangkah keluar dari kereta. Min sedang berjalan menuju ke arah Masjid Zahir bila tiba-tiba dia terlihat aku dan terus menegur.

Kakak kan yang bagi kat Minduit hari tu ?

Aku hanya sekadar tersenyum dan mengangguk kepala

Tiba-tiba dia datang menghampiri aku yang masih lagi berada atas kerusi kereta. Sambil tertunduk-tunduk dengan meletakkan tangannya di atas lututnya Min bertanya serba sedikit pasal kerja aku dan tempat kerja aku. Kemudiannya Min meminta aku membawanya pergi ke Ipoh.

Kak, jomlah bawa Min pi Ipoh. Jomlah kita pi Ipoh ...

Sambil ketawa aku katakan pada Min

Eshh nak pi Ipoh buat apa...? Orang ada kerja nih ....

Adalah sebabnya Kak..
Min tak boleh nak habak .....
Jom lah ....
(dengan gaya agak sedikit gedik dan manja)

Min begitu beria-ia mengajak aku ke Ipoh. Agak sedikit mengada-ngada dan melentuk liuk cuba bermanja dan memujuk aku. Setakat mengajak aku ke Ipoh bukanlah begitu memeranjatkan aku bila dia kemdiannya telah melangkah agak jauh :-

Kak ambiklah Min jadi adik angkat Kak ... !!
Ambikla....

Aku terkedu dan tidak berkata apa-apa dan berfikir mengapalah benda-benda macam ni terjadi kepada aku...? Tidak pada Noora atau Hadie ataupun adik aku..... Aku rasa aku tidak perlu jawab permintaan 'gila'nya itu. Jika aku respon, pastilah aku juga seperti dia.

Bila melihat aku diam, Min meminta pula pada aku sedikit wang. Tanpa banyak soal aku pun memberikannya RM2. Min mengambil wang tersebut dengan terseyum sambil menjelaskan padaku:-

Kak, kak tau dak Min memang kena pi Ipoh ni...
Sebab depa kata Min tak boleh duduk sini dah.
Depa kata kalau Min dok sini Min nanti kena SULA

Aku rasa ada laaaa tu sapa-sapa yang usik bagi tau kat dia, sebab PAS dah perintah Kedah orang macam dia nanti kena sula.....

Min .... Min ..... Mudahkanlah hidupnya Ya Allah .

Siapa Kassim Selamat

Menyukai atau membenci...sebenarnya sangat peribadi dan begitu 'personal'. Ia tiada pernah ada kaitan dengan karakter asal seseorang.

Kamu benci seseorang kerana dia mungkin pernah menyakiti kamu walaupun akan ada ramai orang yang akan mempertahankan orang yang kamu benci itu dengan mengatakan dia sebenarnya baik

Kamu suka seseorang juga kerana ia ada kepentingan bagi kamu. Walaupun orangnya memang dibenci dan dihina orang, tetapi oleh kerana dia baik dengan kamu, kamu tiada masaalah dengannya.

Sebab itu kadang kita lihat dan tertanya-tanya mengapa seorang gadis sangat sayangkan seorang lelaki yang semua orang ketahui adalah seorang yang kita rasakan sangat tidak berguna. Kita akan cepat terus menghukum gadis itu atas kebodohannya yang kita rasakan sangat jelas memilih lelaki yang menjadi sampah masyarakat. Tetapi pada satu sisi yang lain kita tidak tahu betapa si sampah masyarakat itu lah yang selama ini yang berdiri teguh di belakang gadis itu, yang menerima dirinya seadanya, yang menjadi pendengar setia si gadis, yang berada di sisinya di saat si gadis sangat memerlukan.

Memang lelaki yang tadi itu tidak akan menjadi menantu pilihan, tetapi jika sekiranya dia datang meminang dengan membawa sebuah kereta yang hebat dan kemudian sering menghulur wang yang banyak kepada bakal mertua, pastilah bakal mertua tidak lagi akan memandang serong padanya kerana lelaki itu sekarang juga berkepentingan secara 'personal' dengan bakal mertua.

Seperti juga cerita Ibu Mertuaku yang bencikan Kassim Selamat. Yang dia marah bukan sebab Kassim Selamat tu "ahlil musik" per se. Dia marahkan sebab imej yang Kassim Selamat bawa kepadanya yang dia rasa amat memalukan bila bermenantu lelaki yang bukan Lawyer atau Magistrate. Ibu Mertuaku sebenarnya hanya pentingkan diri dan imejnya walaupun Sarimah dah berlari-lari anak dan sembamkan muka di bantal dan bergolek-golek atas katil dengan gediknya cintakan Kassim Selamat.

Tapi sebenarnya ada kebenarannya mengapa Ibu Mertuaku tak mahukan Kassim Selamat memandangkan Kassim Selamat tu memang bodoh kerana kemudiannya terbukti firasat seorang ibu bila Kassim Selamat dengan kejahilannya telah menggarpukan matanya hingga buta.

Mungkin Ibu Mertuaku sedar dan merasakan dari awal seorang Doktor atau Lawyer atau Magistrate tidak akan membutakan mata mereka dengan garpu.

Sekian.

Jack 'n' Jill Went Up The Hill

I finally join a cycling group, here in Jitra. They had been pestering me to join them for quite some times. Not that I wasn't interested, its just that I would be the only female in the group. Its not really the 'in' thing here in this small town to find a girl/lady/woman in a company of a group of men.

But after some thoughts, I said "Why not ?" as long as I know the boundaries ....

Actually they are MTB group. That's one of the reasons I decided to join them rather than the "roadies" . With my speed limit at 27km/h I think I wouldn't be left alone behind the pack because for MTBs even at 27km/h it is considered above average speed, I think.

The group has their cycling session at nite, taking the hilly route behind and around Jitra along the road of Tanah Merah to Bukit Wang and and sometimes the Guar Napai route, of which will only be around 30km. They would ride every other night without fail, subject to the weather, but still there are times when rain just cant stop them.

Ok. I m not really a strong cyclist and hills are not my usual playground. But with the group ,I have been introduced officially with this one steep hill. It was not really a proper introduction but rather more like a surprise encounter. That first night, I was cycling with only four of the group. The road was not that bad and since it was at night I couldn't really see whats in store at the front. I was coming down from a small hill and was really enjoying the descend when I started to feel some struggling pedalling. It was suddenly getting harder to push the pedal. I pushed and pushed but it was really difficult ... the boys told me to go slow, but I was not slowing, I was struggling to actually move because I had come to a halt.

"Bukit gila apa hampa bawa nih...?"

I had no choice but to unclip the pedal and get down from the bike. I had to push the bike and surrender the climbing.

The next day, out of curiousity I drove to that site of the hill to have a look and see what it was actually like.

Even the cars have to use first gear and motorbikes too have a hard time climbing this

"Masya Allah bukit ni depa nak suruh aku kayuh semalam !
Had it been daytime I wouldnt have climbed in the first place
I would have got down and walk !"

But still the look of the hill didn't scare me to try the climbing during my second session with the group. Tentulah tak boleh juga kan ... Aku bukan Aini.

During the third session, I was already praying "Ya Qawwiy, Ya Qawwiy" right from the corner before the road to the hill. And when I reached the hill, I could see the boys were already climbing. One of them stayed with me and was helping me on how to do it. I pushed and pushed with some encouragement from him

"Tekan lagi Ann, tekan kuat lagi ..."

..... I pushed and I could feel the heat building up inside my thigh and I pushed and tried to push, left and right, left and right ... and ... suddenly

eaokkkk ....eerrkkkkkk eahhhhhh ...

... BOOM ...

I fell down
(dengan penuh manja dan sopan gitu...)

together with my mentor behind who was following me closely .. We apparently had no time to unclip ! Alhamdulillah we didn't tumble down like Jack 'n' Jill.


So u see... I told you, hills are not my playground.

But secretly I hope to conquer that hill one day. Insya Allah.

Dear Passion,

Aku rasa aku semakin beku.

Ada sesuatu dalam diri aku yg semakin hilang.


Passion,

Aku tidak mahu kehilangan kamu. Kamu lah yang menjadikan aku, aku. Kamulah yang kadang membezakan aku dengan kawan-kawan aku yang lain. Kamu lah yang membuat aku ternanti-nanti sehingga satu saat adalah sangat lama bagi aku.

Kamu membuat aku bernafas segar setiap hari mengejar apa yang aku mahu.

Denganmu aku seperti tiada batasan waktu.

Jangan mati atau pergi dulu.

Sekian.

Yang benar,
Ann

p/s: Kamu tak perlu jawab surat ini.

Abah and Cik Zah

Anis called me this morning complaining about Abah again. Mak and Abah have been staying at Anis' place for more than a few weeks already. Not that Anis doesnt like them hanging around at her place (how can she with all the home cooked foods coming from Mak), but what she cant stand is the way Abah is treating Mak.

You see Abah loves Mak dearly but he can be so helpless when Mak is around. It seems that he can never do a single thing on his own. He always have Mak on his call.

Cik Zah, mana butang baju saya

Cik Zah Cik Zah macam mana nak buat ni ?

Cik Zah Cik Zah saya cari tak jumpa pun

Yes, Abah can never find ANYTHING in the house. And to some extend he can never DO anything too! Mak would always do EVERYTHING for him. From preparing his everyday shirts and pants, his "baju sembahyang", his socks, his towels, his everything. We grew up seeing all that and we all thought its NORMAL.

Hmm... but now since they are both getting older, we feel sympathy towards Mak. Anis especially can be very vocal with Abah. So whenever she hears Abah calling Mak for help, she wouldnt hesitate to snap Abah

Abah cuba lah buat sendiri !

Like this morning said Anis, Mak had prepared his bread for breakfast and all he got to do was put the bread in the toaster, and that too he couldnt do. Anis said she just couldnt take it. And Mak according to Anis, although at times complains about Abah, always gives in to his helplessness.

I told Anis, maybe thats what their relationship is all about. Perhaps thats Abah's way of being 'manja' with Mak and perhaps Mak deep down inside, enjoys that too. The feeling of being needed by the husband. Its like their own way of communicating their love to each other. And maybe we should never interfer that.

Alas, I think we all have our on ways of sustaining a relationship. Theres no standardize means and everybody would only be comfortable with their own routines. Be it by way of helplessness or bossy or bickering or whatever ... as long as both know they love each other despite the flaws.

After all, nobody's perfect.


:-P

Aku Mahu Jadi Photographer Yang Bagus

tapi kata Noora aku nih selalu

hangat-hangat tahi ayam

dan kata cK

hot hot chicken shit

Its Not Easy To Do Good Sometimes

When you want to help another person, you just have to also accept the baggage that can come with the help. It's not easy you know sometimes to do good, to be 'ikhlas'. Because 'ikhlas' is something unseen, nobody can know whether you re being 'ikhlas' or not.

A friend is being charitable with this one poor family, a single mother with a few children. This friend of mine decided one day to donate some money to the family. She even went to the extend of going to the house to have a look at their living condition. It was quite an uneasy visit when the single mother's mother pestered my friend for more money. My friend even bought them a bicycle for the son to go to school. When her daughter was going to get married, the single mother came to my friend's office to borrow some money for the wedding. My friend was hesitant but relented so as not to disappoint one's hope and wish. The single mother even promised to pay back the money once her daughter gets a job. To this day my friend has not seen the money.

So you think the single mother would back off a bit for not paying the money. No, she called my friend every month as if demanding for her salary. My friend was starting to get annoyed and irritated. It is hard to be 'ikhlas' when you re being harassed like that. But I guess thats the way Allah determins your sincerity in doing good. Its like a test Allah puts to see whether you really mean what you say or what you intend to do.

So as to minimize her annoyance of being disturbed every month, my friend now asks from the single mother to open up an account so that she can put the money in the bank. She gave some money and asked the lady to go straight to the bank to open an account and come back with a photocopy of the bank's account book. The lady went off and never came back until a month later.

She gave the photocopy of the account book and within an hour later ringed my friend asked her "Bila nak masuk duit nih, kak dah pi tengok kat bank, duit tak masuk lagi pun"

So how...????

Malam Ini Dari Opera Mini

Bila kita mahu berenang
Swimming pool tutup

Bila kita mahu berbasikal
Kawan-kawan kita kata malam esok

Bila kita mahu berlari
Kita rasa tak sedap di perut

...Jadi kita pakai baju renang dgn helmet basikal dan sarung kaki .... Kita buat semuanya di atas katil kita sendiri........

*Andeh.... Bukan saya saja yang gila*


;-p

MOODY

MOOD pun macam IMAN

ada turun naik



:-|

Popo DiTangkap Khalwat

Mentang-mentang lah hensem

Apa kurangnya saya ?
Kenapa masih mempertahankan dia ?

Adakah cara dia ramas perut lebih best...???

Ini lah gambar-gambar Popo yang 'orang ketiga' tu kasi
sebagai bukti skandal mereka ketika ketiadaan aku......

*Huh*

Selamat Pagi Popo

Good Morning Popo !

Pagi yang indah bangun melihat kamu

.............

Popo kamu pun tahu

Ini bukan kamera selalu

Yang kuusung keserata ulu

.......

Namun

Biarlah aku diam dulu

Kerana

Aku belum mampu beli yang baru

.............

Aku tetap sayang kamu Popo

*Ini bukan komposisi idea original aku. Masih berlambak benda yang sama kat Flickr.
But i think its still cute to have Popo next to the sneaker

The Subject Matter

My father's first car

:-)


.

My Art Of Bargaining

Sometimes I really dont know how in the world I get to where I am today. I am clumsy and I am impetuous especially so when I am nervous or in a hurry.

I was in Ao Nang last weekend and to my delight there was quite a number of shops which sell imitation oil paintings. The price was not bad and I can say, cheap. You can get the famous white & black Beatles's cover album, Jimmy Hendrix, Marylyn Monroe and some other beautiful and classy paintings to your liking. At the most the prices are not more than 3000BHT (mostly around 2500BHT) for one good piece of delicate, intricate painting and for a much simpler one you can bargain for less than 1000BHT.

I was looking at some beautiful pieces at one stall and one painting of a Volkswagen beetle bug caught my eyes. There's also another interesting painting I ve been drooling to get but its a bit over my budget so I thought I d just settle for the beetle.

The VWbeetle bug cost 1200BHT and I was asking for 900BHT.

Me: Can you sell to me for 900(BHT) ?

Seller: NO... I give you 1000(BHT)

Me: Oh come on... please if you give me 900(BHT).... I'll take it...

Seller (pleading): Oooo.. 1000(BHT).... 1000(BHT) I give you 1000(BHT)

Me: 900(BHT) !

Seller: Wait.. I ask my husband. Krong krang pad thai pattaya krong plang plong.....

Seller's Husband To Wife: Plang plong krang krong pad thai phuket krabi pat pong pang....

Seller's Huband To Me: Just another 100(BHT).. I sell to you 1000(BHT)

Me: 900 (BHT) arrr....

Seller's Husband (after a few second of thought): OK

Me: Yeayyy...

Seller: You pay deposit first. You can come and take the painting tomorrow, I will do the packing for you.

Seller taking out the receipt book: Ok how much you want to give for the deposit ?

Me : 1000BHT

All was silent for a few seconds before cracking into a loud laugh in the middle of the night in the small street of Ao Nang.

Crazy me ......



*1,000BHT=RM101,43

Tengkujuh Di Krabi

Berombak-ombak di atas laut
Perahu besar rupanya kecil
Di tengah-tengah gelombang
Baru ku tahu makna takut

Ao Nang
Oktober 2008

Bukan Ofis Bapa Aku, Nora

Nora baru call aku ajak pi kedai perabut yg 'femes' di Alor Star ni.

Dia bukan nak pi beli perabut kat situ, tapi nak pi amik gambar dan amik no siri sebarang perabut yang dia berkenan dan bawa balik tunjuk pada satu kedai perabut kecil-kecilan di Jitra. Kedai kecil-kecilan di Jitra tu mengaku boleh amik barang dari kilang yang sama dengan harga yang jauh lebih murah.

Masaalahnya Nora ajak aku pi la ni juga, time pejabat.

Dia ingat aku kerja satu ofis dgn bapa aku.

Welcome Back, Mr Doodle

This used to be my way of doing things during my student days. The keyboard used to be the book I was supposed to study. I still have almost all the drawing blocks I used during those days.

I think I might need the drawing block again... it used to help me during my study years...I hope it will help me again at the office now.

I m just trying my best.


:-|

Whats Up Doc ?

I finally went to see a psychiatrist in one of the private hospitals here in Alor Setar. Its funny how the hospital works because when I wanted to make an appointment the nurse told me to "just come" at anytime before 1 pm.

Anyways, its not like I m totally new now to ADD. I did my homework, my own research and everything on the subject before I went to see him. Apparently he didnt leave me with a big impression on the subject and I doubt the pills that he gave me. He was trying to confuse me with anxiety, which of course does relate to ADD too but which I dont think he should give me the drugs before diagnosing me in the first place. His idea was to rule out anxiety so that he could see within the next two weeks whether I d have calmed down and thus giving a big entrance to the possibility of ADD/ADHD.

But of course he was right when he told me I should take all sort of tests, like the blood test, ECG test and the psychological test which also includes an IQ test, before he could diagnose me with ADD. And for these, I might have to fork out more than RM1K.

Maybe I should try KL doctors.

cK on the other hand is not so keen with the diagnosis thing. He truly believes I am ADD and I, do not disagree with him. I have been thinking a lot these few days about my past and all my so called eccentric and weird behaviour. I am also trying my best to get as much informations as I could from the internet. I m not sure whether its really that important for me to be diagnosed.

And cK was so kind to get me two books on the subject of which he asked me first before handing me the books

Are you sure you re going to read them?

Ya, ya I'm not so good with books. I'm more of a 'magazine junkie'. Because with magazines I dont have to read and focus for long.

I Should Have Known I Had IT When.......

Excited to be back home for the semester break, right after reaching the house I insisted to fetch my brother from his kindergarten; one of the opportunities for  me to drive Abah's car. 

After reaching the kindergarten, I waited patiently for the glimpse of my little brother thinking how much I missed him .

I waited and waited and waited until almost all the kids had come out from the building. Still theres no sign of the brother. I came out of the car and stood there fixing my eyes on the gate when one of the teachers came out to me.

Cik tunggu sapa nih...?

Err... saya tunggu adik saya Amaluddin Zhafir.

There was a pause and then she gave me a weird look as if amazed by my answer.

Amaluddin Zhafir ...?

Bukan dia Darjah Satu tahun ni...?

Erkk........ I had forgotten that my brother was already in PRIMARY SCHOOL !!!!

Dont Add Anything More To My ADD

I have yet to confirm my suspicion of the ADD by diagnosis. I feel weird writing this as I have never known anything to be different with me because I ve been living ME all these years and I thought, I was well... 'normal'. The term ADD too was never in my vocabulary and if not for my bf, I wouldnt know it a all.

I knew my bf was always complaining about me not listening to him. He said I never listen whenever he was saying anything or talking to me. I didnt know what to explain to him but I do notice that sometimes my mind just sort of drift away during a conversation. Because of my poor concentration and lack of focus, I would always miss some parts of the conversation . I ve checked with Nora about this too and she admits that it hurts her sometimes because whenever she was telling me anything I looked very disinterested and as if my mind was somewhere else.

Inattention by not really listening and focusing is one of the many symptoms of ADD. There a lot of other instances and symptoms like procrastination, zoning out, starting multiple tasks but never completing anyone of them, constant worrying, inability to prioritize task, easily bored, esily distracted, forgetful etc etc. And because of all these symptoms, people with ADD have always been misunderstood. To certain extent it affects relationships with other persons.

Now I understand the reason why I have to read and reread certain page of a book, because my mind just can't focus because it keeps on wandering. I know for a fact about this because I really have to struggle to read the first few pages of a novel. If I manage to pass through the first chapter and if I find the first chapter interesting, only then I can finish the book. You see, the only thing that can make an ADD person to finish anything, it has to be of interest to them.

There are times during a movie when I would suddenly be at a lost that I would have to ask Nora what certain scene was all about, even when you can see that my eyes were fixed on the screen. According to Nora too, and to her annoyance, whenever we are watching a movie, I would suddenly get up and do other things not related to the movie watching (like getting a drink or snacks for the movie). I would for instance go and read a magazine or wash the dishes.

There is an endless list of all my odd actions and behavior which now I find the answers in ADD. It scares me but at the same time I wonder how in the world I got to be where I am today with the ADD.

I suppose I have always been under HIS wings with HIS Rahmah and Rahim and the duas of my parents.........

After All These Years ....

I have just discovered that I'm ADD

Attention Deficit Disorder





:-|

Jodoh Dan Aku - (Jodohkan Aku)

Jodoh itu adalah rahsia Allah. Tak ada siapa-siapa yang mampu mengungkap apa yang hanya DIA ketahui. Sesuatu yang di luar kekuasaan dan kemampuan akal kita. Sesuatu yang merupakan tentang esok, masa depan yang hanya akan kita ketahui bila ianya menjadi hari ini. Kita hanya mampu merancang dan berikhtiar sedangkan hakikat jodoh itu masih lagi tergantung dan menjadi milikNYA sahaja.

Sering saja kita manusia ingin mengungkap perkara yang bukan di bawah kemampuan dan kekuasaan kita kerana kadang kita merasakan semua perkara boleh diatur, boleh sahaja diusahakan.  Kita lupa kadang ada perkara dan bukan satu perkara sahaja yang masih penentunya adalah DIA. Kamu hanya mampu berdoa moga siapa saja yang diberikanNYA kepada kamu sebagai jodoh kamu adalah yang terbaik. Pun begitu, yang terbaik itu hukumnya bukanlah semestinya yang kamu sukai. Tapi ya, terbaik buat kamu kerana mungkin jodoh itu yang memberi kebaikan buat kamu. Walau jodoh kamu itu bukan orang yang baik di akal fikiran kamu, tapi bagiNYA jodoh itulah yang akan membuat kamu lebih mendekatkan diri kamu kepadaNYA. 

Dan aku amat pantang kalau yang berkata aku tidak bernikah kerana aku terlalu memilih. Berikan aku satu alatan dan aku akan ketuk orang yang berkata itu terutamanya bila yang berkata itu sendiri waktu mahu berkahwin dulu hanya mahu satu-satunya lelaki yang dimatanya itu saja dan menolak habis cinta lelaki lain. Bukankah memilih namanya itu, bezanya dia memilih dan bertemu dengan pilihannya pada usia yang awal sedang aku seperti biasa selalu membuat pilihan bila kedai sudah hampir tutup.

Kadang aku fikir, jodoh juga berkait rapat dengan diri aku sendiri. Mungkin aku sendiri belum bersedia. Sekalipun aku menjerit memberitahu dunia aku telah bersedia, mungkin jauh di dalam diri aku, aku sendiri yang merasa takut; takut untuk terikat. Takut kepada kepada kehilangan kebebasan yang aku miliki sekarang. Takut samada aku layak menjadi isteri dan ibu yang baik. Ketakutan yang hanya aku dan DIA tahu. Pastinya DIA tidak akan mengabulkan doaku jika aku sendiri belum rela melepaskan ketakutan aku itu. Pasti DIA tidak akan memberi permaidani merah bagi bakal suami aku itu melangkah ke arahku jika aku belum bersedia.

Aku tidak tahu bila aku akan bersedia. Aku tidak tahu apa benar ketakutan itu yang masih mengikat aku. Aku tidak tahu. Rahsia aku yang hanya DIA yang tahu.

Dan jodoh juga seperti maut. Agak lawak bila  orang semua boleh menerima rahsia dan taqdir kematian tapi dalam masa yang sama masih mempersoal dan tertanya-tanya tentang jodoh.

Nah, bila saja kamu bertanya aku:-

"Bila kamu akan bernikah?"

Seperti saja kamu bertanya aku:-

"Bila kamu akan mati?"

:-P

Pak Ngah - II

Hidup ini selalunya penuh dengan "irony". Tidak semua perkara di dalam dunia terjadi mengikut sangkaan dan jangkaan kita. Adakalanya kejutan demi kejutan berlaku membuatkan kita tertanya-tanya apakah hikmah di sebaliknya itu. 

Begitu juga yang terjadi dengan Pak Ngah. No, Pak Ngah tidak bertukar menjadi pandai selepas itu. Seperti yang aku ceritakan dulu, Pak Ngah berubah apabila Tok mengahwinkan dia dengan Mak Ngah aku sekarang. Pak Ngah dan Mak Ngah kahwin dalam usia yang agak lewat. Oleh kerana Pak Ngah sendiri tidak mempunyai kehidupan 'sosial' yang begitu luas , amat jarang sekali atau hampir tidak pernah aku lihat kawan-kawan Pak Ngah datang ke rumah Tok. Jangankan kawan perempuan, kawan lelaki pun aku tidak pernah nampak.

Namun keajaiban jodoh tetap berlaku pada Pak Ngah dan Mak Ngah kerana, walaupun Mak Ngah tinggal di Sungai Petani, dan walaupun sudah beberapa orang telah merisik Mak Ngah kerana mahu bermenantukan anak guru Quran, apabila ada yang berbisik pada Mak Ngah bahawa ada orang Alor Star yang mahu menyuntinganya, Mak Ngah tidak menolak, bahkan bersetuju. Mak Ngah belum pernah bertemu Pak Ngah dan melihat cermin mata Pak Ngah yang tebal besar 'gedabak' itu, namun Mak Ngah dengan ikhlas telah menerima pinangan Tok untuk Pak Ngah.

Selepas mereka dinikahkan, Pak Ngah tinggal di Sungai Petani dan bekerja di salah satu kilang di sana. Pun begitu, setiap bulan, Pak Ngah akan balik ke rumah menjengah emaknya yang garang itu. Akulihat Pak Ngah memang sudah berubah. Suatu pagi subuh, ketika aku tidur di rumah Tok, aku telah dikejutkan dengan azan Subuh yang sungguh kurang sedap suara 'muazzin' nya. Dalam keadaan yang masih mamun aku kemudiannya sedar, bahawa orang yang azan itu ialah Pak Ngah. Pasti Tok tersenyum pagi itu kerana, Tok tak perlu lagi bising-bising kejutkan Pak Ngah untuk sembahyang seperti dulu.

Setelah beberapa kali keguguran, Mak Ngah akhirnya di kurniakan dengan seorang anak lelaki. Pak Ngah kelihatan gembira dengan kehadiran anak lelakinya itu. Kami semua hairan sebab, dengan anak lelakinya, jarang sekali Pak Ngah marah-marah, tidak seperti kami dulu. Adalah adengan yang amat luar biasa bagi kami melihat Pak Ngah berlawak dan bermain-main dengan anaknya itu. Memang Pak Ngah sudah berubah benar. Pak Ngah kelihatan gembira dan bahagia. Iya lah, apa lagi yang Pak Ngah dambakan dalam hidup ini apabila mempunyai isteri solehah yang sangat memahami dan menerimanya dengan seadanya. Tidak pernah sekali pun aku lihat atau mendengar Mak Ngah meninggikan suara dengan Pak Ngah. Malah aku juga tidak pernah nampak mereka bermasam muka.Mak Ngah memang bijak dan sangat pandai mengambil hati Pak Ngah.

Pak Ngah dan Mak Ngah hidup dengan amat sederhana. Walaupun mereka tidak mewah atau senang seperti orang lain, aku lihat mereka sangat tenang. Tidak pernah perlu memikirkan tentang hutang dan masaalah hidup yang lain. Aku tahu, gaji Pak Ngah bukanlah banyak, tapi mereka berdua tidak pernah meminta dan aku rasa mereka juga tidak pernah berhutang. Pun begitu, Allah sentiasa mengurniakan mereka dengan kecukupan. Dengan kehadiran seorang anak perempuan yang comel, maka lengkap sudahlah kehidupan Pak Ngah.

Dalam kehidupan yang memerlukan wang dan segala material dunia, aku perhatikan Pak Ngah dan Mak Ngah sentiasa saja dibantu Allah melalui orang lain. Mak aku, Pak Lang dan Pak Cik, bahkan Cik (dan juga kadang termasuk sepupu dan adik beradik yang lain) bila saja melihat ada apa-apa yang tidak cukup pada Pak Ngah, pasti mereka akan mengutip wang menolong Pak Ngah walaupun Pak Ngah atau Mak Ngah tidak pernah meminta. Contohnya bila saja Mak atau Tok aku lihat mesin basuh Pak Ngah rosak, mereka akan berbincang dengan adik beradik yang lain mengumpul wang membelikan Pak Ngah mesih basuh yang baru. Bila Mak mahu membuat dapur baru, dapur lama yang masih boleh digunakan, diberinya pada Mak Ngah. Kadang-kadang tuisyen anaknya juga akan dibayar oleh orang lain. Memang murah sungguh rezeki mereka.

Bahkan rumah Tok sekarang adalah milik Pak Ngah. Pak Ngah tak perlu lagi pening memikirkan tempat untuk anak isterinya berteduh. Dan Tok, yang selalu berperang bergaduh dengan Pak Ngah dulu sekarang tinggal dengan Pak Ngah dan Mak Ngah. Bekas Singa Garang itu sekarang dijaga elok oleh menantunya. Bukankah 'irony' namanya itu apabila anak yang bukan pilihan kegemaran Tok, kini, adalah satu-satunya anak yang menjaganya sekarang. Bersama isteri dan kedua-dua anak, merekalah yang menjaga dan mengambil berat makan minum Tok sedangkan anak-anak dan cucu-cucu yang lain(termasuk aku, cucu kegemaran Tok) hanya sempat menjenguk mak dan Tok mereka sekali sekala sahaja.

Memang benar Allah itu Maha Besar dan Maha Penyayang. Dan memang benar rezeki itu datang dari Allah. Dari kehidupan Pak Ngah dan Mak Ngah, aku lihat apa yang kita manusia biasa definisikan sebagai kejayaan dunia itu sebenarnya bukanlah jaminan untuk hidup tenang dan bahagia. Tidak bagi Pak Ngah dan Mak Ngah. Mereka tidak perlu wang yang banyak dan harta dunia melimpah ruah untuk mereka bahagia dan merasa cukup dengan apa yang dimilliki. Itulah kekayaan yang sebenarnya.

Ps:
Oh ya, Pak Ngah masih tetap dengan hobinya menonton TV. Satu-satunya alatan yang memang Pak Ngah belanjakan dengan agak mahal baginya adalah TV besar, Video(dulu) dan VCD /DVD (sekarang) yang elok. Kedua-dua anaknya juga mewarisi Pak Ngah menonton TV dengan begitu dekat. Kedua-dua anaknya memakai cermin mata tebal.

Namanya Saddam

Petang tadi dengan nada yang melankolik, Abah tiba-tiba teringatkan kucing lamanya yang bernama Saddam. Abah memang amat sayangkan kucing itu. Sewaktu Abah mahu berpindah ke Sungai Petani, Abah terpaksa meninggalkan Saddam di Taman Uda. Kami semua lihat Abah menangis hari itu. 

Bagi Abah tiada kucing yang begitu sempurna seperti Saddam, termasuk Popo kucing kesayangan aku itu. Abah kata Saddam kucing yang baik. Saddam juga sangat beradab sewaktu makan kata Abah. Aku juga mengakui kebaikan Saddam. Saddam tidak pernah berebut makanan dengan Arroyo (nama kucing Abah yang seekor lagi). Saddam selalu biarkan saja Arroyo makan dulu dan Saddam hanya akan berdiri di sebelah. Pun begitu Saddam memang seekor kucing yang gagah dan selalu bergaduh. Kadang bila dia pulang ke rumah, habis luka sana sini. Aku juga sebenarnya sangat sayangkan Saddam.

Setiap kali Abah pulang ke Taman Uda menziarahi kawan lamanya, Abah akan tetap singgah ke rumah lama kami mencari-cari Saddam. Setelah beberapa lama Saddam sudah lagi tidak kelihatan apabila Abah pulang menziarah. Kami semua mengagak Saddam mungkin sudah meninggal dunia.

Kata Abah tadi:-

"Agaknya Saddam memang ikut seperti Saddam pemimpim Iraq yang mati awal"

Sampuk Adik aku:-

"Habis, nak letak nama apa kalau nak bagi hidup lama, 

Mahathir??"

:-)

Selamat Hari Raya

Perempuan Melayu zaman sekarang,
malam-malam sebelum raya bukan lagi menganyam ketupat,
tetapi di internet menganyam blog
meng email surat



...termasuklah aku...

ya... maafkan aku kalau aku bukan seperti yang kamu mahu

juga maafkan aku kerana tulisanku kadang merapu

maaf maaf

kerana mungkin aku pernah mengguris hati kamu dulu

Maafkan aku

S E L A M A T H A R I R A Y A

M A A F Z A H I R B A T I N

"Manusia miskin kaya ....
semuaaaa... bergembira
......aku miskin hinaaa......"


lagu raya yang paling pathetic




aku harap mereka tak akan mainkan lagi lagu ini sewaktu aku sedang blog

Its Not About Him. Its Not About You

I wish he could wait another four years. I admit I dont know that much about all his plans and schemes, I can only see the show. I can only see what is being presented to me. Like many and most of the people, we can only see whats on the stage, not whats behind the curtain.

I know he cannot be worse than those two at the top. In  fact a friend said to me " Nobody can be worse than them two". So you see, maybe he does fit the bill. Maybe he is the most suitable candidate at the moment. But I just cant phatom all the promises and hopes hes been proclaiming. But as much as I want some changes in the current political situation of this country, I also want to be assured that the personnels who are going to take over the power are capable and really ready for the transition (famous word of the month).

Please dont keep on giving us another date. Please stop telling us that the number of people jumping to your side is increasing every hour of the day. If its true, you will be having the all the MPs by now which will include the top two. 

Just please dont be like them. We want something different, a different sort of politics, so as not to diminish our minds, not the same tactics and MO, the way we are all so used to all these years.

Your blunder will cost us all the five states. Just please, please concentrate on the five states. Just please clean up the mess made by the previous people. Just please prove yourself in all the five states first. Let the people see what you can do in the five states. You know why, because if you excel in those five states, it wont be that difficult to get another few states the next time. And by that time, may be we are stronger, maybe some of your people are more ready to take over the present people in the ministries. 

Let your people learn how to do that in this four years time. I heard that in UK they have what they call a "Shadow Government" where for every ministry one opposition personnel will be following the minister in charge like a hawk. He will be the one who really observes, studys, monitors, scrutinizes every actions of the ministry and he will be the one to question the minister in charge in the Parli@ment. This will come in handy when the opposition really takes over the govt and the shadow person will be the one taking over the ministry because by that time he must have known everything about the ministry by heart. 

Having 5 states in hand do not entitle us, especially not you for the time being, to be so euphoric. I wish you could be patient this time. I just wish you did not use the same style the last time you wanted to topple your ex-Boss. I guess its true, you are never a patient person. You just cant wait. You want everything fast.

Your blunder will cost us the five state. And you know what, if (Allah Forbids) that we fail in the states and those people take over again those states, we are all DEAD. They will be impossible, more arrogant with bigger head and bigger egos and its not impossible that this country of ours will turn into a police state.

Please. Please dont fail us. Its not about you. Its just not about YOU only.