Wednesday, January 21, 2004

I like Indonesia, especially Indonesians, the people of Indonesia. My keen and respect for them started when I was in Form 5, when History of Indonesia was part of the syllabus. I might have forgotten some facts from the history book, but the admiration still lives on till this day.

They fought for their independence, and with their own blood. I have to admit I felt a slight dissapointment that Malaysia got our independance by mere talks and obligating ourselves to what the British had carefully and subtly outlined for us. I have this idea that the price of our independence would not be the same had we gained it through our own blood so that we can tell the children to walk on the ground with proud and love because the blood that built your country today are still flowing throughout the country. Thats what Indonesians have been telling their children and their generation to come.

There was one time when I had the chance to join my campus educational trip to Medan and Acheh somewhere in 1991. I began to observe the Indonesia students' thought; their maturity and their intelligence awed me. I'm not saying that Malaysians are not up to the standard, but I feel that we lack something. I sensed pride and confidence in their caharacteristic. Proud of themselves as Indonesians and confidence of their own capabalities. I began to appreciate the language as well, so smooth. I dont know whether its because of the language itself or is it because of their flow of thoughts.

During that trip, on our way to Acheh from Medan, we stopped by at one of the schools (I've forgotten the name). They put us on the stage where we had to introduce ourselves and gave some briefings about our students council and some other stuffs like the objectives of the trip and so on to the whole school. There was this one guy from our group, (me and Nada, my friend were not really fond of him ; just for the record during some brief intro prior this session, he told all of us and the Indonesian Students who were our host where we were staying, that his ambition was to be the Prime Minister of Malaysia ; duh !) who took the lead in briefing the students and he did include about ABIM activities as well and its strong connection with the Malaysia government (of which was very irrelevnat as the trip had nothing to do with ABIM in the first place; its just because most of the committees were ABIM members). His briefing was very simple and he touched only the surface but he looked very arrogant.

One student from the crowd suddenly stood up . He was actually supposed to ask question, but he ended up briefing us back the whole history of ABIM and the detail story of Anwar (Ibrahim)'s first involvemment with UMNO and the frustration of ABIM's top members at that time of Anwar's big step, while giving his own comments on the issue. Ohh he really put us in hot seats, but I was loving every moment of it and to watch Nik's (the ABIM man) face turned red, it was great. The Indonesia student was really prepared and he knew "our" stuffs. I was amazed and from then on, I'm hooked! !.

I was so happy and amazed when I first found out that Indonesians start to vote at the age of 17, which to me shows a lot. It means that by the age of 17 they would have to think about politics irregardless the fact that some merely love the fun of the parade and coloring their faces during election times. The thing is they know they can make a difference to their country with their one vote. While here in Malaysia, youre not supposed to talk about politics even when youre a university student *sob* *sob* *sob*. Indonesia tought their children to be brave, to stand for what you believe, to fight for justice and be proud of it and the phase of "Reformasi" time showed it all. I was so excited of the whole thing, to join the chat session with the Indonesia students discussing about reformasi . If only I were there I that time, I would have surely joined the rally.

But I know its not about excitement in Indonesia. What I see from here is not the same. Its a struggle everyday even just to make a living. If youre from a well to do family youre blessed, if not , youre lucky just to be able to have lunch today. Its not easy to take care of 234,893,453 (July 2003 est.) people. You just have to make use all that you have even if you only have to depend on mere pride and the fighter in you.

Monday, January 19, 2004

Watched Oprah Show this morning. The topic : "What Happens After the Wedding?". It was an interesting topic. They were talking about how most couples, usually the bride-to-be, who were so caught up with the "moment of their life time" the wedding plan, that they tend to forget the true meaning of the marriage itself. From the moment the proposal was made, the engagement period and untill the wedding day itself, they were like in cloud nine. Only after everythings over and the cakes are all gone, did they realize that they actually have a lot of adjustment to do with their new life.

I once heard someones saying : "The happinness of getting married only last three days". I laughed when I heard it. But I have to agree that there might be some truth in it. When we were younger, we had our own visions of what marriage should be, like fairy tale stories, where the stories would end with " ... and they lived happily ever after". Nobody told us at that time that Cinderella would have to endure the whole of her life with Prince Charming's habit of not putting back the toohpaste cap back after use, nor about her constant fight with the in-laws (as well as the step-sisters who were still on her back).

You may have known your partner as your boyfriend/girlfriend for 10 years, but to actually live with him in the same house and to share the bed, when you used to have the space all for yourself and now to have some sort of tug-of-war for the blanket ...... every nite. For some, even living together before marriage is still not the same as the actual marriage. When you live together theres still a notion at the back of your mind that you still have the chance to escape by just moving out at nite, but after being married, that sort of idea somehow doesnt sound that simple.

Theres also the issue of being married to his family too. You have to accept his family as part of your life now. No matter how bad the mother-in-law is, she is now as good as your mother (even if your mother is slightly worse). The worst case is when you get to marry a mama's boy. Oh no ... no .. no .. no.. youre really heading for trouble if you dont know how to handle it properly. A mama's boy will always be a mama's boy even at the age of 60, you will have a constant struggle to win the man you love. To his mother you re the woman who has taken his baby boy from her. Ohh.. its not a good situation at all ......

One of the panelist in the Oprah Show suggested that you should have a list of questions that both of you and your husband-to-be should answer honestly, before the wedding. I think my the questions would be like :-

1. Are we to have a joint account
2. Who will pay the car and who will pay the house
3. How many times per week should you visit your in-laws
4. How much money can both of you give to your own family, for the sisters/brothers
5. What happens if one of you is attracted to someone else ,
6. Would you accept polygamy ...
7. If you have children what sort of education would you like them to have, the type of school they would go, the sort of discipline you want them to adhere to

Yes all the questions would definitely have the answers, at that particular time. It would not be the same as when you really face the realities, but at least the questions would give you some basic ideas on where your partner stands on certain issues.

I am still single and almost all my friends are married. At the age of 20-25 I used to envy them, for having someone to love and loving them in return. But now, not all of them are " happily ever after". Some are divorced, some are having problems and yes some are really happy. I'm not against marriage. I'm not hunting for the potential bridegroom nor am I running from him. I take things as they come. If its meant to be, its meant to. We all have our dreams and hopes, but we cant have everything that we want. Our life after all is destined (oddly somehow by our own choices.......)

"What we shall be is written .........."

Friday, January 09, 2004

Got this from Ijul's site

Your Brain Usage Profile

Auditory : 46%
Visual : 53%
Left : 70%
Right : 29%

Ann, you are somewhat left-hemisphere dominant and show a preference for visual learning, although not extreme in either characteristic. You probably tend to do most things in moderation, but not always.

Your left-hemisphere dominance implies that your learning style is organized and structured, detail oriented and logical. Your visual preference, though, has you seeking stimulation and multiple data. Such an outlook can overwhelm structure and logic and create an almost continuous state of uncertainty and agitation. You may well suffer a feeling of continually trying to "catch up" with yourself.

Your tendency to be organized and logical and attend to details is reasonably well-established which should afford you success regardless of your chosen field of endeavor. You can "size up" situations and take in information rapidly. However, you must then subject that data to being classified and organized which causes you to "lose touch" with the immediacy of the problem.

Your logical and methodical nature hamper you in this regard though in the long run it may work to your advantage since you "learn from experience" and can go through the process more rapidly on subsequent occasions.

You remain predominantly functional in your orientation and practical. Abstraction and theory are secondary to application. In keeping with this, you focus on details until they manifest themselves in a unique pattern and only then work with the "larger whole."

With regards to your career choices, you have a mentality that would be good as a scientist, coach, athlete, design consultant, or an engineering technician. You can "see where you want to go" and even be able to "tell yourself," but find that you are "fighting yourself" at the darndest times.


Am I like that ... ? Hmm.. I doubt about the 'tendency to be organized' part. Because for once you should all come and see my office room; with the files scattering all over the place. But my room in my house is not that bad... simply because there are no files *ehem*.


Still in the mood of talking about politics.

A few days back I saw one banner with the words " Kami Peniaga-Peniaga Kecil Melayu Menyokong Penuh Dato' Yusof Nayan Sebagai Dato' Bandar Alor Setar" ( We the Small Malay Traders Are In Full Support of Dato' Yusuf Nayan as the Mayor of Alor Setar". Why the banner ? What are they trying to tell the people? I see nothing else except that there must be some people who are not satisfied that Dato Yusuf Nayan has been chosen to be the Mayor. And the ones putting up the banner are those people trying to show their loyalty and support, when it could have been Dato' Yusuf Nayan's idea himself. Hehehe. Had there not been any kind of banner of that sort, nobody would detect the frictions somewhere.

I hate that sort of banner because I have this sneaky feelings that its done for somebody's own political purpose. When you see that kind of banner, you will know right away that somebodys jacking up somebody's a** . Sorry for the latter .. cant help it .

Thursday, January 08, 2004

Rosnah Aiming For PM

The PM Datuk Seri Abdullah Ahmad Badawi annouced yesterday that Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak is now the Deputy Prime Minister of Malaysia. Najib as he fondly called, has been the favourite one and his name had been mentioned for a number of ocassions by the then PM, Tun Dr Mahathir, and everybody knew that he might be the next in line to be the DPM after Pak Lah. Its quite a disspointment actually to see Najib as the future PM, but I guess Pak Lah has no choice. It has to be Najib.

1. He got the most vote during the recent UMNO election as one of the top three Deputy Presidents , which means that he has a good grassroot support from the UMNO members

2. He has been in the cabinet for as long as anyone can remember . He was elected to be the Deputy Minister of Telecom and Post when he was only 24, and he is now 51.

3. He has a good political background family, being the son of the late ex-PM, Tun Razak and being closely related to the late, also an ex-PM, Tun Hussein Onn.

Pak Lah cannot ignore the hints given by the ex-PM when he kept mentioning Najib to be the one.

If given a choice I would prefer Muhyideen Yassin, he is now holding the Ministry of Agriculture, which is a good thing since there are a lot of opportunities for him to be populor among the 'rakyat' in the lower grassroot, and if hes smart he can build a good base from there.

And yes, everybody in UMNO would be singing praises and vows supporting the decision by Pak Lah, but one should know UMNO's culture, nobody dares to be against the 'big wave' unless theres somebody up there in the high post has another thought in mind . But we shall see whether another book of " 50 Dalil Kenapa Najib Tidak Boleh Jadi PM" (50 Reasons Why Najib Cannot be PM) will be published.

Ohh as to why above title of Rosmah, well, Datin Seri Rosmah Mansor is Najib's wife. Isnt it the wife is the main person behind any man, the one whos in actual control of the affairs of the husband, the Queen, the PM of the House (when the Husband is only the KING). Yes, wife actually rules the house, and in this case, Rosmah without any doubt will actually be our next PM, (if only Najib can endure everything to keep the current post). LOL

Tuesday, January 06, 2004

I found this new site a girl who is so fascinated and obsessed with Indonesia as much as I do, but shes better than me in the sense that she put her fascination in beautiful writings and photos and almost everything about Indonesia in her webbie. I was in awe reading all her stories, especially on the her travelling part like the times she went to Jakarta and her 12 hour train ride to Yogyakarta. Gosh .. how I envy her. Shes having all the fun I ve been wishing to do. And yes, the time she went to Dewa gig and meeting them and taking pictures with Dhani, I'm not really into Dewa as I was before, past my maturity age, but then still.... she sure had a swelling fun time. And the best part of all, she surfs ! Gosh I must meet this girl !

Friday, January 02, 2004

Seems like you are not in big trouble.
Actually, this result is actually BETTER than average.
You will have a perfect job. You will make a lot of money.
The job that you will have is being a kind of doctor.
You will not marry.
Many women will like you or did like you in your college,
but you don't think anybody is good enough for you. You will live in a two-story house when you are older. Two stories all for you is good enough for you! You will have many dinners in your house.
The bad news is that you will be very lonely and sad - perhaps
almost depressed when you are older. Yes, you will think that money is not everything in your life.
Feel good young man. You will not bald
/*_*\ Your hair will be the same as it is right now.
You will feel that you are one of the prettiest woman there is for your age /*_*\
You will be the over average woman.
In your future, nothing will hurt you.
Only pain on the outside. When you are 87 years old,
you will die of painful cancer.

The Quiz of Luck - What Will Happen In Your Future?
brought to you by Quizilla

How inspiring ......... But I am sure that "what we shall be is written ........" and may Allah guide me all the way and may He give me patience to endure everything .....

Thursday, January 01, 2004

Happy New Year !

On Fitness

People always talk about resolution and all. Well I had one last year, "to be fit". Think I've achieved that, and with flying colors too, I must say. Loosing 6 kg is a achievment especially going through the diet and all. Hmmm.. as to fitness wise, my resolution this year would be to look like one of the women in the cover of Muscle & Fitness - Hers magazine, with some defined muscles and a good 6 pack ab .....

On Emotion

Enough of my fitness freak. On the emotional level, I just wish to have a better control of my own feelings, to be able to see things clearly from a few angles before I make any assumptions and jump into conclusions. Like cK always say to me:

"You cant change peoples behaviour, they can be mean, selfish or arrogant and all, they can make you feel sad and hurt. You cant change them but you can change your reactions towards them, you can take control of your own thoughts and feelings. Their words may hurt you, but if you choose not to let those words affect you, it can help a lot.
It all depends on you; what you choose to affect you and what you choose to ignore"

On Love

I have to repeat this mantra again and again to have a fulfilling relationship

"Love is what you give, not what you expect to receive"

You love a person for what he is, and when you fall in love, you really hope that your feeling is reciprocated. But whatever you give to him is out of your love, if he return it with love and affection too, its a bonus, if not, well .. you ve done your part by loving him...

On Career

To have a better concentration on my work and to have a zero deffect on the documentations prepared.