Wednesday, December 31, 2003

I am beginning to think of the whole concept and idea of blogging. When I went through my blogs, I started to think, perhaps I've shared more than enough of my daily life, I should have kept certain things private.

Sunday, December 28, 2003

Ohhhh I finally did it ! I went surfin at Sunway Lagoon !!!!!!! Its a crazy day, I felt like a 5 year old kid who was so excited, who got up early to get ready when the parents, (in my case its my Sis) are still in bed. Yes I had to "persuade" my Sister to wake up so we could get there early. I had fun, we rented the tubes, basketball and yes the surf board. I was told to try the body board since I ve never tried the surf board, but No ... body board is too childish ..... Hahahaha .... The waves were not so big, but I was almost drowned for a few times, so much for "not being childish" .I never gave up though. I kept trying and trying till the last waves. I was among two of the girls in the crowd of surfin and the boys too were not the 'pros'. So nobody could really show off :) . (What I really mean is that I didnt look THAT bad when the waves were 'eating' me up). I managed to catch three waves and I was yelling all the way to the crowd at the end of the big pool. No I didnt get to stand on the board, its good enough that I could get the three waves just by holding tight to the board lying down .. hehe

And I tried the basketball too. I still love basketball eventhough I have not played for ages. Played with my sis for some times before she gave up and I ended up playing with the boys (mind you ..... boys as to age 10-15).

Oh what a day, my sister looked good in her new swim suit. So sexy .. and I ... looked like a secondary school girl ......

Friday, December 26, 2003

I am in Kl and am at my sister's place. Been here since yesterday, running away from the 'hassles'. Not really running, I cant run because the hassles keep following me around, in my thoughts. I feel like I'm loss. Really wish I could talk to myself, to see a different perspective of my own problems .... Friends always come to me for my views and advice, they appreciate me for my ability to listen and give views from angles they had not thought of, and thats why I really feel like talking to "Ann" right now ..................... *sigh*

Thursday, December 25, 2003

When my servants question you about me,
tell them that I am near.
I answer their prayers when they call on me;
let them answer my call.
Let them trust in me,
that they may be guided along the path of righteousness.


Al-Baqara, Surah 2:186

How soothing the words of Allah are at times when you need them most. Its very true when they say :

When you want to talk to Allah ; Pray.
When you want Allah to talk to you; Read the Quran.

There are times whenever I feel sad and depressed with life and all, I would just open the Quran at random, and there ... inside those verses I would find the soothing words, sometimes describing my feelings, sometimes warning me, and sometimes telling me what life is all about.

I remember there was one time when I was feeling down that my best friend was getting married, afraid that I would be left alone. When I opened the Book, there was this one verse where Allah said "................... everyone of you will come back to me alone....." . I was in tears.

You can have family and friends and everything in life, but when the time come to go back to HIM you will be on your own ......................

Wednesday, December 24, 2003

Had a crazy day yesterday. Everything seemed to get in the wrong way, my way that is when I was so grouchy and not in the mood. Must be the hormone again. And to add salt to everything my blogger template was accidentally deleted by me, the forever clumsy, and saved. I was close to fainting and all hell almost broke loose when this one temporary staff who chose to bug me at that critical moment with all stupid questions, not realizing that smokes were coming out of my head.

I tried my best to compose myself and fight not to panic. Without looking at the her face, I told the staff I was sorry that I was not in the mood of talking. Calmly, I started to look for the pages of my template, that I, luckily, recently printed, behind all those messy papers and files, and started to type in the format all over again.

Phewww ..... I must say, I'm proud of myself for not loosing my temper and all (...... I was close to loosing it, though ....).

Saturday, December 20, 2003

What a day. Spending the whole day with the Tanah Merah kids. Went to the waterfall for a picnic. Stopped by at the cafe for Black Forest and Blueberry cakes. The kids are just cool !

Friday, December 19, 2003

I was listening to "perfect match" the other day. They were having this one quiz, where a couple will be put to a test. One will be asked a few questions and later his/her other half will be called to answer the same questions, to see how many of the answers match with his/her other halfs'.

The wife was asked, how would he rate her husband 'physically' in bed, from 1 to 10. Of all the stupid answer she said "6". Imagine the shock of the husband later to find out that hes only been rated "6" by the wife when the wife should have known .... all men think they are "10" in bed .............

Its only a playful quiz; cant think what can happen to the ego of the husband after this .......... It will surely rock the boat ...... hmmmmmmm

Thursday, December 18, 2003

What do I look for in a man .... ?

Mak is not happy when I said that the man they re all "shoving" to me is NOT THE ONE. She was asking what is it about him that does not suit my taste. Well for one thing it has nothing to do with taste;... or has it ...?

Its a difficult question for me to answer. I dont look at it as a matter of taste, although taste might have some important role in making the decision. You can have feelings towards people without any concrete reason. Sometimes when you like a person, you just like him and when people ask you why do u like him, you just cant pin point the definite answer. And I am sure there are times in your life when you just dont like a person without any reason at all.

I'm not saying I dont like the guy nor am I saying that I like him. To start with, the whole concept of matchmaking has never been favoured by me. And now, that the whole family is involved, the whole thing has besome like a circus. It hurt me, especially when the relatives were intererogating me and forcing me to accept the decision they have made for me.

Now back to the question : what do I actually look for in a man. My answer will always be RESPECT. I have to respect the man. Which means that he has to earn my respect. And I know its a bit complicated because it will always follow with another question; what makes me respect a man ?

1. Knowledge ;

Someone whom I can talk to about almost everything. Especially on religion. Someone whos open to listen to my view and not being judgmental about it, one who does not live in his own world. He does not have to agree with me, suffice if he can make me agree to disagree, after a lenghty discussion, of course.

2. Firm ;

Firm enough to ignore my times of 'hormonial imbalance' and yet

3. Understanding and kind

... to acknowledge that its part of being a woman and kind enough to accept it ( 'times of hormonial imbalance)

Oh , I dont want to list down EVERYTHING ....... The first I think is enough to be the basis of my respect ........

Tuesday, December 16, 2003

Be Careful With What You ask For ......... You Might Get it

How many times have we been granted with the things we have asked for. If you carefully observe, you will notice that there were times when the simple asking from God had been granted, be it by way of your prayers, beliefs, or just plain talk and chanting.

But the thing with all these grants is that it follows the simple rule of life " You win some, you loose some. One cannot win everything all the time". Go figure !

Sunday, December 14, 2003

You are 13% geek
OK, so maybe you ain't a geek. You do, at least, show a bit of interest in the world around you. Either that, or you have enough of a sense of humor to pick some of the sillier answers on the test. Regardless, you're probably a pretty nifty, well-rounded person who gets along fine with people and can chat with just about anyone without fear of looking stupid or foolish or overly concerned with minutiae. God, I hate you.

Take the Polygeek Quiz at

Ha ha ha ...

Friday, December 12, 2003

I have to applause to one of the best TV ad ever, the Diwali advert by Petronas. Deepavali is over but I still think about it and never fail to mention about it, for the fun of it. Its about a bunch of modern teen age Indian guys who were acting (and dressing too) as if they were black Americans, talking and rapping like one. You know the type when they "Yo" here and "Yo Man " there, "Were gonna partyyy all nite man.. " "Wats up man.. ?" bla bla bla bla. And on their side was a group of girls, giggling over them and one of the guys was trying to flirt with the girls when he suddenly noticed, at the other side of the road, his old grandmother ! Dressed in sari and very much Indian with a plastic bag on her side, just standing and looking at them. He was shocked and was squeezing himself while telling his friends "Patiii ! Patiiii ! (Pati is Grandmother in Tamil)" and his friend who still didnt get it, was yelling " Yeahh man..... we re going to party tonite mannnnn !"

The grandmother then walked towards them and greeted them in Tamil asking the boy where his mother was and whether hes having cold because of all those jumpers and wind breakers hes wearing. She then asked the friend (the one who wanted to have party all nite) his name and he said "Sam". The old lady didnt buy it, in Tamil she asked "What Sam ? Dont you have a proper name?". "Muthusamy Karrupaiah"

It was hillarious and how true when the ad ended with a message that no matter how advanced we have moved, we should never forget our roots.

Thursday, December 11, 2003

Hmm...... not what I thought .....

Wednesday, December 10, 2003

My small kampung town is going to be declared a CITY !!! Its disputable to some when they try to argue how Alor Setar, the capital of Kedah State, can be considered "city" when there are only two 7-Eleven shops and theres no Starbucks and not even a 5 star hotel. Oh dear, I'm sweating because I dont know what to answer and how to explain to all those questions. I am sure that there are many other doubts as to "Why Alor Setar?".

In case one would like to know where the hell Alor Setar is, better check this out :-

Former PM, Tun Dr Mahathir hails from Alor Setar, even the first PM, Tunku Abdul Rahman was from the same old town. And from the opposition party, the late Dato' Fadzil Noor, the former PAS President also came from Alor Setar. Yes we have quite a number of many other politicians who are and were from Kedah.

Among the requirement for a town to be declared a city, is that the state must at least have a total income of RM80 Billion a year. I cannot imagine how in the world, Kedah can afford to accumulate those income when the major income Kedah gets is from rice.

Oh how things can change by use of political means.

I want my home town to stay as it is. Let KL and let Ipoh or even Penang get all the limelight. I just love Alor Setar as it is.

Tuesday, December 09, 2003

I was pushing my self over the limit at the gym last nite, and I'm now feeling sick. How stupid one can be !

Monday, December 08, 2003

I had this confusing idea, that maybe hes the one, may be its meant to be him. Hmm.. I was thinking maybe I should give him the benefit of the doubt. But then, started to think that I may have jumbled up the two big points:-

1. Getting married;
2. The person to get married to.

I was the whole time thinking of the fact that maybe its about time I should get married that when the idea was forced into my mind, I was not thinking that maybe I should evaluate that man first. To consider him on his own merits, not on the point on just to get married.

Getting married is one thing, and to be married and tied down to only one man, to submit to him as a loyal faithful wife is another thing.


Maybe I have evaluated him ..................... and that he is .......................... *sigh*

Saturday, December 06, 2003

I'm back at the gym. But I'm finding it hard to get back to my old diet, I'm still craving for all that fat-foods. I'm trying.. I am, bit by bit I'm fighting my big appetite, which is not easy. I wonder how I did it the last time. It was 70kg when I first started and by Ramadhan I was down to 62 kg. What an achievment I must say. But the diet and all tought me something valuable .. that if you can set your mind for it .. you can do it. Its like nothig is impossible. Because cutting down all the nasi lemak, pizza, burgers, ice cream, cookies sounded insane to me 6 months ago. My diet didnt take long, by the second month I was down by 4 kg. And you dont have to be on diet for the whole of your life. Once a week I could still indulge on my favourite foods and it didnt affect the diet at all, on the other hand it actually helped. After the third month, I can eat normally and still going to the gym .........................

Friday, December 05, 2003

My Sister .. my only sister is on the way back to KL today. I'm trying not to be sad, because I'm planning to visit her during this Christmas time, insya Allah.

The house would be back to normal again witout her, quiet and cold. Its true how much she brings the light and the laughter to the house whenever shes around. The cousins would be flocking the house, and there would be laughter and screaming as well as my sis always love to tease those small monsters. She always wants to win with them. They'd play cards and games and she would seriously play to win. But the kids never mind that, because they love her just the same.

We're the same in some ways, and yet different. Shes more bubbly and child like and fun, unlike me whos more reserved and quiet. I envy her sometimes, the way she wins my mothers heart and the way she draws the kids to her. Mak can never get angry with her long, she would always find the way on how to make Mak smile again, and sometimes Mak couldnt help laughing with her antics.

We re 4 years apart, and people always tell us how much we look alike, I mean our face, because, Anis my younger sister, is bigger than me. Note that I use the word bigger, because she is taller and bigger than me. Not quite fat, but shes applying my diet nevertheless. When we were a bit younger, we can pass as a twin.

Our friends, on separate ocassions, always tell us how we're different from them; the way we act and the way we dress and the way we live and think. My friends can say I'm weird and all, but they havent met Anis. My sister insisted the hairdresser to color her hair "blue" the other day before Hari Raya. To her dissapointment, the hairdresser refused, while advising her that it wouldnt do any good to her hair. So they ended up agreeing on reddish-brown. My sister is also mad about shoes and most of her shoes are red or green in color. And her socks would be orange and red and green or colorful with weird patterns or with cartoons. And the other day when I was in KL, I helped her choose the red rim glass. It can only look nice on Anis. When she goes for swimming or to the gym, she would take her see-through-all-you-can knapsack. You can see everything's in the bag from the outside and yes, only Anis dares to sling the bag around her back.

I can never be like her. For all that she is, I do love her with all my heart. Shes the one I can turn to whenever sadness strikes, and sometimes whenever I tell her something, which is so petty, when I come to think of it, she would just laugh. We can share so many things, she would tell me every single things that happens in her life, unlike me who would sometimes keep certain things for myself, and she never minds that because she understands me well enough. She never hesitates to stand for me, even during all the naggings about me not being married, shed just brush them off with her remarks, which only she could do it with her wits.

Oh Sis, I may not always tell you this, but I'm glad to have you as my sister and I want to thank you for always being there for me.

*Sentimental lah pulak ... heeee

Thursday, December 04, 2003

I ve gained 3 kgs in just one week after Ramadhan.

I must have sounded so vain for some other ladies in some other part of the world. Here I am complaining about my weight when I should be grateful for all the good things that I have in my life .................

Sunday, November 30, 2003

"You dont need me.... ; you only want me which to me carries more value. I feel I am extra special to you. You have everything you need, but you still want me. You want me because you value me ... and I am flattered by that"

There are things in life that we need, and there are things that we want. Needs and Wants. Both are used synonimously but theres a slight difference between the two when you go deeper into the meanings. Sometimes the things you want may be the things you need. And not all the things you want are the things you need in the first place. Like the time when you need to change your car tyres. You may not want to spend that much on the new tyres, but you need the tyres, you have to have those tyres changed. But if given a choice, you 'd rather spend those few hundred ringgit on the new Reebok shoes youve been eyeing for months, or that new dri-fit shirt, or that new Nokia hand-phone (I ve lost track of the latest Nokia gadget; they keep coming out with new model every week). The latters are the things you want; they are not the things you need. But because of the urgent needs on those tyres, you have to forgo all your wants.

"I dont need you. My life doesnt depend on you. I can still live and I can keep on going even without you. But I want you by my side. I want you to be the one who holds my hands, that someone whom I can trust, someone I can talk to, someone I can share my every thoughts and my every dreams, someone whos not afraid to love and to be loved. I want you because you accept me for what I am, not for what you want me to be. You believe in me, you care for me and you love me unconditionally. I want you for everything that you are to me ... Its true when I said my life doesnt depend on you, but when you re not there ... my heart will always long for you ......... "

Friday, November 28, 2003

If you dont have anything nice to say, just shut up.

How true indeed..................

Thursday, November 27, 2003

Almond London Biscuits and Cashew Nuts Sugee are killing my diet. So are the Keropok at Makcik Zaharah's house, Mak Lang's nasi minyak, Wa's ketupat and of course Mak's Nasi Tomato and her Tom Yams ... they are all trying to sabotage my diet !
I have been eating and eating and eating and this is not a good sign. The whole one months of "holy diet" are washed off in just two days.

Tuesday, November 25, 2003


Idul Fithru is not the same anymore when you are an adult. It was a must to have at least two sets of new clothes, one is a baju kurung and the other a dress or at least a new jeans/pants with a shirt. New shoes too, of course and sometimes Mak would also buy a us a 'hari raya' pyjama for the nite before raya.

And as an incentive, we were promised RM 1 for every day that we fast during Ramadhan, and the money would be paid as 'duit raya' on the first day of Raya. And RM30 was quite a lot for a kid like me . Its been disputed, in the news paper the other day, whether kids should be paid for their fasting efforts. It has pros and cons, but I think, why not; if only you look at it as an incentive. Yes, there are kids, then, who would not fast if theres no promise of money, but its up to the parents to explain the whole concept of Ramadhan.

I didnt know what Ramadhan was all about when I first started to fast but the money sounded good to me somehow. Abah and Mak stopped giving us the incentive by the time we reached the age of ten, but the fasting never stopped.

Monday, November 24, 2003

I want to thank you Tok for teaching me to read the Quran. She insisted, despite Abah's objection that I was too young, to teach me read the Quran at the age of 5. Tok wanted to start me off early so that by the time I reached Standard 5, the year I had to sit for Penilaian Darjah 5 (now they have UPSR for Standard 6), I would have finished and "khatam" the Quran. Tok and Mak were very strict when teaching us; me, Cik and Syafiq my brother. It was no fun for us as we had to stop playing and reached for the Muqaddam when the other children were still laughing and jumping about outside our house. The reading (of the Muqaddam n Quran) would always ended up with tears. Tok would make us repeat 10 times everytime we made mistake, and most of the times if there were still mistakes, Mak would not hesitate to pinch us. It hurt.

But all was paid off. I finished the Quran when I was only 9, two years earlier than the targetted age for Tok, 11. And by 12 I had finished my second round of reading the Quran.

And Tok still keep the recorded voice of me reading the Muqaddam when I was 5. I was so cute :)


I really appreciate your efforts. Only Allah can pay you back for everything you ve done for us.......... I love you.

Sunday, November 23, 2003

Aidul Fitri is just around the corner. The town is now packed with all the KL people (mostly) whos back for the festival. The usual 5 minutes time to get to town now takes half an hour. Pacific and City Plaza (the small malls in this small town) have no available parking lots, with the stream of cars keep going in. Pekan Rabu as usual pulls the crowd like mad. I was driving a bit like crazy, trying to push in between the available space along the jamming road, while cK was laughing beside me. Almost all the plates that start with "W" are showing off their driving skills ("W" for cars registered in KL) Hmmm.....


Love is what You Give ; Not what You expect To Receive ............................. and in giving I learn to receive .

Saturday, November 22, 2003

I used to think that I would always be the city girl, living in KL with all the bustling and busy life. After finishing my first degree, not wanting to do my double degree, just yet, I did a few odd jobs here and there. With two of my friends we rented one small apartment. I was working as an editor at that time ... not any editor, editor for one publication editing questions for workbooks. Workbooks for SRP and SPM students. It was no fun.

With a few hundred RM to live by, life was not that easy. I was feeling so lonely and the loneliness was eating me up from inside. My day started at 6.00 and I had to catch the sardine-packed mini bus. The job was not challenging enough for me, I dozed off most of the time. Had to sit at the table from 9-00 to 6-00. There were not many staffs. There was one other girl and I was working under one lady. The job was not for me. After work, I would always drop by at Section 14 PJ walking around aimlessly not wanting to go back to the apartment and face the wall. We had no tv and I had no proper bed. I would read some books and magazines and stare at the wall. My two other housemate were not getting along very well with each other, and one of them was getting married. She was my good friend, and the marriage was so depressing for me. I felt like I was loosing my best friend. Unlike men, once your girlfriends get married, the relationship would somehow start to change. You dont hang around as much and she can never be available as much as you want her to be.

I was suffocated by my life. Lonely and not knowing how to lead my life. Only then I went back to campus and finished my double degree. My lecturer suggested me to go back home and did my practical in my own hometown before going back to KL. Because , he said, once youre back and start working in KL, you would be very busy and you would have not much time for your parents. "Go back now and do your practical there and cherish your time with your parents. Then come back to KL and work like crazy... "

But I never went back.......................................

Thursday, November 20, 2003

The other day cKwas asking me "If you have a choice, which country in this world would you like to visit most ?" I took some time to think .. because as I always love beaches and sea and all ... Malaysia has always been my favourite, because I am so sure that our beaches are as beautiful and breathtaking .. just like the ones they have in Maldives.

So back to the question ... I suddenly jumped up with my how-can-I-forget answer ; its JAKARTA . Yes !!! thats it... I always love and I always want to visit Jakarta. Despite all the negatives things theyve been telling me... I'm still dying (yes.. dying) to walk around Jakarta city . I ve been to Medan and Acheh.. and it was eon ago .. when I was still studying. Medan was packed and Acheh was beautiful and clean.

My friends always think that I'm weird. But I have this thing for Indonesia. I love the language, the people and everything about Indonesia. And I was even trying to flirt with one Indonesian student in my campus .. but he just brushed me off *sob* *sob*. Hes from Sulawesi. I also had one good housemate from Aceh, and she looked like Krisdayanti. Really ....!

There was one time when I was hooked on chatting. But I only joined the Indonesia chat room. Palembang. It must sound stupid but I was virtually falling in love with one Palembang guy and I was even thinking of going to Palembang and visist him . Hmmm... ya ya ya I'm crazy... But I cant help it. I still keep in touch through SMS with one of the chatters from #Palembang. Hes married now and we ocassionally sms each other.

And yes the music too ... not the traditional ones.. but you know the groups like DEWA, Jamrud, Padi... they are my favourites. I discovered them long before theyre intoduced here in Malaysia.

And of course cK doesnt like the idea of me going to Jakarta alone. I think hes a bit *jealous* of my fascination ............ hehehe

Wednesday, November 19, 2003

I am still sluggish but I need to be crazy .........

I really need to go :-

1. to the gym ;
2. swimming;
3. running;
4. jump and jump and jump;
5. Tanah Merah and have fun with the cousins.... hmmmm...

Tuesday, November 18, 2003

Stress Source : Delights in the tasteful, the gracious, and the sensitive, but maintains her attitude of critical appraisal and refuses to be swept off her feet unless genuineness and integrity can be absolutely vouched for. Therefore keeps a strict and watchful control on her emotional relationships as she must know exactly where she stands. Demands complete sincerity as a protection against her own tendency to be too trusting.

Restrained Characteristic : Remains emotionally unattached even when involved in a close relationship.

Circumstances are restrictive and hampering, forcing her to forgo all joys and pleasures for the time being.

Desired Objectives : Seeks freedom from problems and a secure state of physical ease in which to relax and recover.

Morning Test at ColorQuiz

In short : Langkawi here I come............................. *splash* *splash*

Monday, November 17, 2003

I feel so sluggish today. Feel like a snail... slowly coming out the shell wriggling itself to work.... Another leaf to finish today. My eyes... my body... uhhh I am the snail. Wait till i get back to the gym after this Ramadan ...

Got back from KL yesterday morning, by bus. Had to take the bus, rather that the flight. Cant stand the hassles of going to KL Central then off to KLIA with the times I had to waste. I'd rather be spending those few hours finishing my Cinnamon Rolls with Cream Cheese plus the Ice Blended Choclate with my Sis; strolling around the Mall looking for that white cotton panties .... and trying out all the new swim suits ...

And hey I finally drove all the way from my sister's place to the Mall. I always have this fear of driving in KL and not driving in my own car, I was nervous all the way which only made my sister more nervous. I think its because she didnt have much confidence in me. It didnt help my nervous at all. Its true, if people do not have confidence in you, it can shatter your performance. Hmm... whatever lah Sis !

Wednesday, November 12, 2003

There's no easy recipe for a long-lasting relationship, but you've found some of the main ingredients. Chemistry is definitely a great foundation. Then you add some trust, communication, and respect. Of course, a dollop of humor and a generous amount of romance make it much more satisfying. There are many more things you can add to make it better, but that depends on the needs of the relationship and the individuals. The two of you have clearly mastered some key elements and seem well on your way to building a loving, long-lasting relationship. If, however, you have some doubts about him, or if this relationship isn't truly what you want, listen to your inner voice. "Forever" shouldn't be taken lightly. Try to explore your fears and concerns thoroughly. And, remember, if he's not "the One", that's okay, because you'll find someone who is even better for you. It's a win-win situation!

Tuesday, November 11, 2003


Yeap. Its my sister's bday today. heres the message I posted to her blog


May all your dreams come true .. may you find that special someone , the ONE, who will love you as much as you love him, who will accept you the way you are ; pervert or not , someone who will is kind and yet firm enough to control the wild side of you, one whom you respect, who will guide you all through the ups and downs , one who is not intimidated by you, who can speak fluent English and witty enough to reply your cunning remarks, who has the same level of intellectual that you have and yes I do hope you get one who is physically fit and fitness consciuos to help you in the gym ....... someone that I am so sure is out there waiting, just as eager as you are, to meet you ... insya Allah ... only time and the patience in you will guide you to him !

I love you Sis !
Have a BLASTING Happy Birth Day !

My one and only Sis .....

Monday, November 10, 2003

I am back ! I am back ! Finally... after so longggg ! I finally manage to pull my fingers to drag the mouse and click and log on to my blog.

I was away... stressed and having a lot of thoughts on EVERYTHING !


I have to admit it myself, its a very touchy and delicate subject. Everybody is aware and knows fully well that we are all heading towards it; death. The final destination. Having growing up in a 'quite' religious family, plus having the a religious education backgroud, I ve heard lots and lots of stories about life after death; the painful experience of having the Izrael (Death Angels) pulling the soul out of your body, the time when your soul floats around having the last look of those loved ones youre leaving behind, the body being bathed etc etc till the time they bring you to the grave. And hence another phase ... the QUESTION and ANSWERING sessions... and ud be left there alone ... alone until the end of the world ... when ud be awaken again to face the COURT when all and every single things u had done in this world would be judged, there would even be sort of big screen where u'd be shown your detail biography, with graphics and nothing is left out ! .............

* I know and I understand * .. but I still cant help it..... *sigh*

Monday, November 03, 2003

Happy Birthday To Me

As far as looks go, most Scorpioettes are exotic and enticing, sultry and seductive. Their eyes will speak volumes, even if they're totally tongue-tied! They can look like the back end of a bus but still folk will flock to them, because they're so marvellously, mesmerisingly magnetic. Once you're ensnared by their enigmatic, elusive and enthralling energy, you won't notice if they have perfect pins or a wooden leg.

There are two women who portray perfectly the stunning stillness of a Scorpio woman cool Katharine Hepburn and glacial Grace Kelly. They have always appeared completely in command of themselves, yet beneath that icy exterior is enough heat to melt the hardest heart.

Ha ha ha ...!

Oh why oh why does he forget ??? *sob* *sob*

Friday, October 31, 2003

Good Bye , DR M.

I dont know how do I feel at this moment. Hes been part of my growing up until now and I've loved and loathed him. Its a mix feelings really. On one side, I'm happy of all the things that he's done to Malaysia, but on the other hand when it comes to his critical view on certain issues in Islam, it really disturbs me.

For example in the issue of Hudud. Its a delicate subject that has been discussed and criticized by almost everybody. My main concern is that if you do not know what Hudud is, just shut-up ! Dont say anything about it just for the sake of commenting. DR M has got something to say because hes the PM, but the others are just trying to 'bodek' him. So pathethic !

You cannot look at religion from your own logic, because certain issues and certain things are far beyond man's capability of thoughts. Like the reason for taking wudhu' , for a layman you will never understand the logic behind washing your face your hands and so forth. You just do it because u have to, otherwise u will never be able to perform solat (prayer). If you want to find the logic and the reason before you do it, forget it man ! Ure just wayyy to much !

I will discuss on the Hudud issue some other time, this post is meant to bid fairwell to Dr M. Hes done his best, tho many might not agree with him on many issues, but hes done well for Malaysia. He must have meant well even tho the paths he chose might not be appreciated by all.

And yes... the INDIAN guy was right !!!!! He predicted more than 10 years ago that Pak Lah is DA MAN... He is now.... Gosh... wondering about his predictions about me... :)

Tuesday, October 28, 2003


A good book which carefully potrays the political drama of Mahathir - Anwar feud. I know that the the mainstream newspapers had been pressing Anwar so much that the public tend to be sympathetic towards him rather than Dr M, as Dr M was very much in control of the press. But reading this book, you will find a different perspective on how the fued began to develope and how Ian managed to relate almost every single events which led to Anwar's dismissal.

Ian does not take side in this book. Hes merely narrating the events from facts. It really gives me a different ideas and it also feeds me with justifications on Dr M's actions.

Wednesday, October 22, 2003

I have this one riddle forwarded by a friend - Syarifah- . According to her the riddle was asked among the kidergarten kids in US and more than 80% of the kids got it right, but when the it was given to the adults ... they had no idea at all what it is. The riddle goes like this:-

1. The word has 7 letters
2. Preceeded God
3. Greater than God
4. More evil that the devil
5. All poor people have it
6. Wealthy people need it
7. If you eat it, you will die

It takes a SIMPLE mind to answer it .... *grins*

Tuesday, October 21, 2003

Kematian datang bermusim. Do you think so too ? Setiap kali adanya satu berita kematian, seolahnya akan ada saja beberapa kematian yang akan berturutan. Dan kematian datang tanpa disangka, tanpa dijangka. Apa yang terjadi hari ini membuktikan itu.

Sumai Norma, salah seorang staff di tempatku meninggal dunia semalam. Puncanya : BISUL. Ha ahh.. memang susah nak percaya pada mulanya. Hanya kerana bisul boleh menyebabkan kematian. Yang aku tahu, bisul memang amat menyakitkan. Norma ada bercerita di pejabat tentang suaminya yang sakit bisul itu, sakit hingga tak boleh tidur. Dan semalamnya mereka ke klinik, Doktor tidak mahu 'operate' sehingga bisul tersebut benar-benar 'masak'. Tapi dek kerana terlampau sakit, suami Norma mencungkilnya sendiri dan akibatnya darah keluar dengan begitu banyak ... sehingga kehabisan darah. Suaminya meninggal dunia kemudiannya dalam keadaan semuanya masih kalam kabut.

Norma yang aku kenali seorang yang kuat dan tabah. Pastinya Allah tidak akan mengujinya demikan jika dia todak mampu. Norma sangat independant, dan aku tahu dia mampu mengharungi semuanya, sendirian demi tiga orang anak perempuannya.


Tok is still weak. Shes not having any fever now, but she hardly eats anything. And she sleeps most of the times. Mak has been sleeping over at Tok's place for a few nights. Tok is as good as bedridden and she can only walk, slowly, with assistance, and she wears diapers now.


Monday, October 20, 2003

I want to grow old surrounded by the people I love and who love me in return. I want to grow old and not wanting to cause them any difficulties. I want to grow old and be able to smile ...

But since I am not THAT old now.. I only want to have a nice vacation in Langkawi. Oh please... let me have the opportunity and the money .. to stay at least for one whole week .. hmmm ... Near the beach with swimming pool.... hey I'm repeating the same things again.......

Must be the hectic days I'm having for the past two weeks. Its exhausting. But I have to hold on ... and when everything is in order ...................................... that'll be the DAY !!!!!!

Thursday, October 16, 2003

Tok is still weak, but not as bad as yesterday and the days before. Mak is at her place, and she was there the whole night looking after Tok. I'm glad to hear it. She still wears 'pampers' (Tok not Mak) and she sleeps most of the times. I'm still sad but at least, I lear to face my fear.


Confession time

I remember when I was about 11 or 12, I was really hoping for a NIKE shoe and I knew my parents would never spend that much on me. I wrote a letter to the Sultan of Brunei. Yeap him. Asking for a NIKE shoe. I must be thinking hes Santa Clause. I heard that he was so rich that people wrote to him asking things from him ... and so I wrote the letter. I didnt know my shoe size and so I put my foot on the letter and traced the foot with a pen. It was crazy of me. I cant recal whether I posted the letter or not.... hmmmmm

Wednesday, October 15, 2003


Apakah sebenarnya yang kita rasa? Kesedihan dan kedukaan yang melanda,adakah kerana rasa kehilangan,keinsafan,penyesalan atau kekosongan ?

Kita terus berjalan dan berjalan sambil menari kadanganya, sambil menangis pada sedikit waktu .... melangkah ke satu jalan yang amat pasti namun sering kita lupa. Satu destinasi yang amat yakin,yang sebenarnya mengejar kita seraya memakan usia,sedikit demi sedikit. Yang kita hampiri walau bukan dengan niat, walau bukan dengan tujuan, bukan dengan rancangan, bukan dengan kumpulan tapi semuanya dalam satu rombongan ...... menuju kembali kepadaNYA

Bekal apakah yang engkau bawa ? Bekal apakah yang AKU bawa ........

When we were small and yes to some like me, until now, we believed and I sometimes tend to believe that our parents and the ones we love will always be there forever. We think that things will always stay the same, and thats why I guess the child in me is still there. Ive never grown up.

But yesterday, when I went to visit Tok (my grandmother), I began to tremble. Looking at her, so thin, so fragile, so vulnerable, so old, I began to learn facing the reality. The time for her to leave me and the family is near. No I'm not hoping. But it is something that I have to face, sooner or later. I helped her took the 'wudhu' and prayer. She fell twice the last time she took wudhu. It helps that shes not big and heavy. I could almost pick her up and I was thinking of carrying her instead of letting her walk. She is (again) so fragile and weak. I was holding my tears all the time I was there, not wanting her to see. She was talking nonsense too. Perhaps her hearing is not good. It hurst me listening and talking to her. She said things that didnt make sense. Maybe its the fever. I want to believe its the fever shes having. I dont think shes senile. She can still pray and read doa and recite Quranic verses.

Tok has always been the closest to me. There were times when I disagree with her, like in the case of Cik (when Tok did not approve Cik's choice in marriage - and harrased Cik) and in that few years I was sort of avoiding myself from her, but then I began to realize that whatever it is, she is still Tok. The one who always loves me. She always says that I'm her favourite :) I used to stay with her during my school years and she really spoilt me sometimes.

I cried all the way back from Tok's place. I was thinking its about time I have to face my fears. The fears that was haunting me even when I was 5. I remebered hugging Tok and telling her " I dont want you to die". Its the same feeling I'm having now. But I'm not the 5 years old Ann. I'm 32 now. Goodbye is never an easy thing to do and death is after all is not the end ... its only a beginning for a new and long journey ...............

Tuesday, October 14, 2003

What a busy weekend Ive had. With the two cousins, Wafir and Aiman spending the weekend at my place. The parents were out of town to KL to send their sister, Kak Ana to UIA, to do Pharmacy. And shes only 16. Shes very lucky she had the chance to do GCE in UK. If shes still here in Malaysia, shed be in Form 4, and can only sit for SPM in Form 5, and to wait for the result in the subsequent year. I dont know, but I think the education system in UK is better in that sense. You get to finish ur education and get on with life early. Even the kids in Thailand start schooling earlier than us, in Malaysia. By the time Kak Ana is 20 shes already out of the University and if she wants to she can continue doing her Master, and if everything goes well shell be holding a Master degree at the age of 23, when the others are just finishing their first degree.

The two cousins are fun. They are humble and cool. Didnt give me a hard time. Took them to bowling and it was their first. Wafir was almost crying when after a few shots, he only managed to throw the ball into the drain. Had to 'pujuk' him that its only his first times and that the ball if too heavy for him. The smallest is only 8. Think its still heavy, especially for first timer like him. But the brother, Aiman, he really has talent for sports. He did quite well for first timer and his score is at par with mine. But Wafir was Ok after that and started to enjoy the game.


The song I learned from the cousins

I close my eyes,
Drew back the curtain
To see for certain
What I thought I knew

Far far away
Someone was weeping
But the world is sleeping
Any dream will do

I wore my clothes
With golden lining
Bright color shining
Any dream will do

And in the east
The dawn is braeking
The world is waiting
Any dream will do


Any dream will do.......; if only THIS one dream... *sigh*

Saturday, October 11, 2003

1991. 12 tahun yang lalu.
Aku berjumpa, itu pun secara kebetulan, di warung konvo di kampus, seorang lelaki India. Tidak pasti pula aku sama ada Muslim ataupun tidak. Katanya dia pengkaji bintang. astrologi. Ditanya aku tentang tarikh lahir dan beberapa butir lain. Cuba meramal. Tapi katanya dia cuma mengagak sahaja. Aku biasa sahaja. Percaya dan tidak sama sahaja.Bukan apa yang ditelahnya tentang diriku yang aku mahu cerita sekarang.

Sewaktu itu, Anwar Ibrahim sedang berada di kemuncak, menghampiri 'Kerusi Pertama'. Semua orang menjangkakan dan percaya dia akan terus mengungguli kerusi teratas. Aku juga percaya. Namun kata India tersebut. "Anwar tidak akan menjadi Perdana Menteri Malaysia". "Bukan Anwar yang akan pegang jawatan itu !". Aku dan teman hampir ketawa, dan memangnya kami tersenyum sinis. "Kalau bukan Anwar, siapa lagi....?"

Jawab India itu : ABDULLAH BADAWI

Aku pegang katanya, aku simpan di ingatan. Aku mahu lihat. Perkara itu sentiasa tersimpan di kotak ingatan aku. Dan bila Dr Mahathir mengumumkan penggantinya................ aku terkedu ! Menghampiri akhir Oktober 2003, aku masih menunggu .. mengesahkan apa yang pernah dicakapkan oleh India tersebut.

Aku menunggu


Apakah aku juga sedang menuju ke arah apa yang India itu telahkan...???

Friday, October 10, 2003

If you go to the gym, and your body has not developed to certain extent, just yet, aka thin, with no bulging muscles to flex, not toned enough .... please, please DO NOT wear a big sleevless shirt, especially the "Y" singlet type, it doesnt look nice. Its awful ! Its pathetic. Its better and nice if you just pick a sweat t-shirt. Yes T Shirt that covers 3/4 of you body and your hairy arm pit too, so that some women wont find it distracting. Thats for some women.... Hmmm.. (Just for the record.. in my case, I find it weird if men shave their armpit... its not masculine.. not macho).

And please do concentrate more on your leg muscles too.


Tuesday, October 07, 2003

I want to run on the beach. I want to swim in the sea. I want to rollerblade under the morning sun. I want to walk and watch the sun sets. I want to dive into the pool when the rain stops. I want to ride the bicycle in the afternoon. I want to read a nice book under the tree.

In short : I want a vacation on an island



........and to know that some men (as to male species) really think that the phrase refers to them.. and being so defensive about it..... I dont know whether to laugh or to cry......

Monday, October 06, 2003

The weekend is over. And life goes on. I spent the whole day yesterday with the cousins. Had a good time; well.. they certainly had a good time.


I am not sure where life is leading me. Maybe I'm not sure where am I leading my life. Do you take care of your destiny or do you let the destiny take care of you ? I believe there are some things you can take care of and there are things you cant. At times you really want something to happen the way you want it to be. You feel that you can control the situation. You feel that fate and destiny are (or supposed to be) in your favour. But then... at one slip of the corner of your life, everything changes. What would one do at that moment of time?


"What is happening to the new generation?". My Boss was asking. He was pointing out to this new trends where some young men choose to be jobless. Some prefer to stay at home (especially the unmarried) with the parents (!!!!!)and some dont mind (are blessed) with the wives going to work and bring the cash home. Most consider themselves to be free-lances (with one or two job in 12 months) (!!!). TRy asking around and I'm sure you will at least hear one or two stories about their sons or sons in law or even brothers, uncles, cousins not having a job and walking around (or fre some -pretending) looking for one. And the baffling thing is that all of them want to drive in BMW (at least) use the latest hand phone by Nokia, wear Armani Exchange, Calvin Klien.... hang around at Starbuck ......bla bla bla and the list goes on.

Our conclusion is that these are the results of being pampered and spoilt by the parents. Imagine that most boys nowadays do not cycle to school. The parents are afraid that the sun might damage their sons fair skin. They think they can have their own ways all the times, and when they go to work, they find it difficult to take orders from the superior. They dont like to be bossed around. It hurts their ego; yes.. Mom treats them like Kings. They want to be their own Boss .....

Please; we want the men to be "jantan" the-Man ... not mama's boy... Please !!!!!


Wednesday, October 01, 2003

Still fasting. When you fast, everything seems to be moving in slow motion. Sombre. Do you keep smiling when ure fasting ?


Calvin : What is a pronoun ?
Hobbes : A noun that has lost its amature status

Tuesday, September 30, 2003

I'm fasting today. Two days in a row. My MO is kept in abeyance. After a few months with the diet scheme, I have to admit.. my appetite has slowed down. A major improvement for someone who can eat a horse everyday.

Sunday, September 28, 2003

<>I expect to pass through life but once.
<>If therefore there be any kindness I canshow,
<>or any good thing I can do to any fellow being,
<>let me do it now,
<>and not defer or neglect it,
<>as I shall not pass this way again...

Saturday, September 27, 2003

Its been a pleasant month I must say.... September that is. I enjoyed the trip to KL, I got new clothes, new shoes, new handbag ... annnndddd a new hand phone ! I love the new phone; its Nokia 3530. Its not the latest gadget by Nokia, but I just love it !!! To top it all (the good things) I managed to pay the arrears of my personal loan. Yuppeeee !!! ALHAMDULIILLAH ! Praise to Allah.

Kak Nora spent the nite with me yesterday. We seem to get along very well; compared to the way how my relationship is (was!)with her sis. Nora is actually the elder sister of my good friend, Net. I mean not that shes turned bad or something .. but the relationship has. Me and her. Me n Net used to be such a good company but I think people change. We both change. I may be the person she no longer enjoys being frens with, and vice versa. May be she had gone such a rough time and the way she looks at things now has been affected or may be it is me who has changed.

I do have a few close frens, like Motien and Mulaikah. Theyre the persons who have been with me from as long as I can remember and we still connect. Motien has known me for almost 25 years and Mulaikah for about 20. They had seen the real me from the beginning and when I was going through some 'phases' in life .. they've seen it all and they're always there for me. I admit with guilt, that at some points in my life I had sort of hurt them.. but they always accept me as I am, accepting me with my good and bad. I always believe thats what good friendships are made of. Accepting the good and the bad of your mates. Noone is without faults. But when you can accept the faults of the other.. the relationship will go deeper.

And hey.. both are now married... Motien with 4 kids now and Mulai .. well.. expecting...! Motien's kids have always been in love with me.. hahahaha especially her eldest son, Najmi to the extent he once wanted to marry me !!! He was 3, I think at that time, playing horse ride with me when he whispered : " Mie (Najmi) wants to get married to Tie (Auntie) Ann !!! " that was so cute !!! and I said to Motien.. "hey look at just how long I have been single, now that even your son wants to get married to me.. ". And believe me, Najmi will turn out to be one handsome young man one day ! :)

Wednesday, September 24, 2003

What a wonderful morning to be able to wake up and not going to work... Its an off day actually. And yet... if its not a working day today; why am I at the office at this moment? I just remembered that I have to finish some job and its due the end of this month, and this 'job' is a real job.. involving lots of files and files and files.

The Diet (for You Sis)

I was at the gym last nite, trying my best to control my weight and my 'new' figure. I am now 65 kg. I havent been this weight for some years. The latest was 70kg. Not a good shape. But since I join the gym plus the diet regime, I'm improved ! I mean not only my body.. but my attitude as well. The diet was tough for someone like me who can eat and never stop eating. The diet took about two months to work. I started with two white egss and only one yolk, 1 glass of non-fat milk, one orange and two slice of whole wheat bread. Nothing in between the lunch except for fruits if starvation was nearing. For lunch it was only a small portion of rice and lots of veggies and fried chicken or fish. Nothing else after that except for fruits and fruits and lots of water and one glass of non-fat milk before I ended the day. It works ! I lost 5 kg. Even tho I dont stick to the diet for now, I still watch over the things I take and I'm still a regular at the gym. Swimming helps a lot too but please be careful.... do bring along some bananas with you when you go swimming. Take one before you leap into the pool and save some for the aftermath. Banana helps a lot in re-energizing you while taking care of your starvation.

Love is what you Give Not what you expect to receive

Tuesday, September 23, 2003

Is it true that woman needs to be assured everyday that she is loved ? Is it true that we need to hear the word " I love You' every moment of the day ? Well yes... I believe it is true. But what about men...? Do they, at the very least of once in a life time, have the feeling of insecurity as well ? And what do they do about it? The test ! Yes , I believe they test us.. the women they love. They make a test so subtle that you wont know that its a test. They will create stories and all just to see your reaction. To see how you feel and what would you say about it. What we show them, our reaction will determine the feeling we have for them

Sunday, September 21, 2003

An evening at the talk : How To Control Your Sub Conscious Mind. Hmm.. quite interesting, you know, like the time when u're thinking about someone and suddenly that person called you; and u call it theraphy. Yeap the talk is about something like that; but its just an intro, the real course will be held in November and the cost is about RM300-00. I'd really like to trry.... but November.. its fasting month hmmmmm

Saturday, September 20, 2003

Where do I start from here. Well for one thing I'm back in my home town. I've just finished my gym session and am now about to write about almost everything.

KL was great. Had a nice time there with my sis. Shes COOL ! The first day (17th) was not that fun. I had to spend almost 5 hours at KLCC before I could meet her after work. MY feet was aching... especially when I was wearing her sandals. Mine was not approved by her. Didnt suit the jeans and the shirt she said. Had Burger King for lunch and the rest of the time was spent roaming around and round and round and round the KLCC until my feet couldnt take it anymore that I had to buy that lovable loafers -Hush Puppies. I love it. Its so cool; a black one. Sis took me to her office gym... and straight to dinner after that. Not good actually for her as shes supposed to be on diet. Quite selfish of me.. but I had no intention not to eat and have fun. The food was good.

Oh.. did I tell you that my ear was aching all the time when I was in KL. It had affected my time there a bit but I was determined to enjoy myself nevertheless. The second day was a BLAST. We started out quite late and straight to lunch at Kenny Rogers. We went to the movie to see Eliana, eliana , an Indonesian movie. A good one, work of those people who did Ada Apa Dengan Cinta. Have to confess that I'm so fascinated with anything to do with Indonesian. I just have this thing for Indonesia. The language, the people...... uhmm.. I'll talk more on that some day.

And because of my aching ear I had to cancel my plan to try surfin at Sunway Lagoon. Have to try it someday. I must .. !

Oh ya.. I never thougt that I'm quite choosy actually or 'cerewet' as the they put it in Malay, especially when shopping. I was looking almost all over the place for my training shoe and a new handbag.. which I had explained earlier .. the things I NEED. Got myself... (finally !!) a nice handbag and a nice Reebok training shoe. And in between the times of finding the things I need I ended up getting things I WANT as well... like the new shirt.. the new socks.. uh... not good for my account... I have to thank my Sis for being such a sport !! Theres noone I'd rather be going shopping with except her ! Love you SiS !

Went to see Honey today at UUM ...
Since you are not a prophet, follow the way taught by prophets. Since you are not a king, be a loyal subject to the king. Since you are not a captain, do not take the helm of the ship. Since you do not possess every skill, have partners in your business. Be as pliant as dough in the hands of others, that you may rise well.

-Rumi, "Masnavi"

Tuesday, September 16, 2003

Having an extra few hundreds... I'd rather spend it on a new sneaker.. a new gym apparel.. a new swimming suit .. but *sigh* the thing is I need a new handbag !!! I wish I dont have to buy a new one (the handbag) so that I can spend the money on the things I WANT .. and not the things I need. But hey.. I do need the new training shoes.. and I do need a new sports bra... uhhhhhhh !!!

I'm going to KL tonite... la di da dud dibaa dubbb ...!! Its been a long time since the last time. No.. not for a holiday. Having a meeting up there with a Bank (no.. nothing to do with my finance..). Its WORK ! but its only going to take two hours... so I can have the rest of the day hanging around at the mall ... and ohh the food.. foods that are not available here in my small town.. actually not actually 'food'... the junks I mean.. Burger King.. Baskin Robin.. Nandos... TGIF... bla bla bla bla. I dont think itd affect my diet.. after all its only for two days.. (I've applied for another day off)

Sunday, September 14, 2003

Always when ure faced with a difficult situation, be sure to ask urself " What do I actually want ?". Thats the best starting point where u can later direct ur way and stick to it. You make a choice, you decide and the decision, always comes in package. You take the good and the bad of your choice. Thats the way of the life in the first place. You cant take only the goods all the time.

I'm talking about my niece whos in deep sh*t when her parents found out that shes not wearing hijab in her campus. Its her choice of not wearing and shes paying *part* of the consequences. She must be feeling free and enjoying herself, but theres always the danger of her parents finding out. And they .... have found out. But hey.. shes almost 20 now. Hmmm.. thats why shes been saying (crying ) to me. "Let me be myself !!!". Ok Ok .. but dont ask me to talk to your abah or mama later.

Saturday, September 13, 2003

It can be very very boring waiting your turn at the clinic. theres no such thing as appointment here, in my case. well actually its my grandmother's case .. shes the one in line waiting for her turn; Im the chauffer.

I'm tired and exhausted... must the tension (again) this morning. Yes its supposed to be my off day.. but you know when the-file-is-in-your-hand-and-u-have-to-attend-to-it urgently . boss was depressed with the file and I was the punching bag. Maybe I should be more aware of the things running under my nose. But hey.. a simple letter of confirming the conversation should do it. I dont have to follow their b*tt all around.

The golden rule of my firm : Please confirm everything in writing ! Believe me it works. and it will save your *ss later on. confirm confirm and confirm and your life will be better.

Tuesday, September 09, 2003

YOU ARE CLOSE to finding "the one!" We have carefully calculated
your responses according to our scientific formula and harmonized
the results to the Venutian lunar calendar. But don't get your hopes
up to hear those wedding bells soon, because your bridesmaid days
aren't over just yet. YOU WILL BE MARRIED BY:
Saturday, September 21, 2002


Yeah yeah yeah.. its the Wedding Predictor. Got it from some website and pasted in my folder. I was browsing my files when I found the above and its now September 2003 and I dont know where my Husband is .... Ha ha ha ha *cynical laugh*

Saturday, September 06, 2003

Had a good dinner last nite with Nora and cK. We really had a good time. Laughing with all our hearts. Its so good to be with a bunch of people who think alike and who can understand your frustration of the things around u.

We talked a lot especially on education system here. Its so bad when u mix education with politics ... the sad part is : at the expense of the students. I cant imagine how they can just transfer teachers (especially good ones - with brains) who are being critical and pointing out their thoughts. Just because u say something about the government doesnt mean ure for the opposition *sheesssshhhh*... its pathetic !

Friday, September 05, 2003

Start of School Holiday

Ahhh.. what a joy .. being a child ... nothing to worry about; except for the unfinished homework; except for the big bully waiting at the corridor; except for that tall and thin Headmistress whos still single and very serious and yeah when she walks she brings along the chill feeling and sweeps away all the noise....; except for the forthcoming exam especially the History subject with a text book of 300 hundred pages and where you have to remember everey single person who invented everythings from the needle to train, airplane .....

*grins* I'm glad i've gone through it all .............

Wednesday, September 03, 2003

errggghhhh ... !!! I hate it.. Missing files .. again.. !!!! It really gets on my nerves when these things happen.. I'm sure I've put them on the front desk.. and now they're gone ! Somebody must have taken it ...

Enough of the files. My diet is supposed to be on track again. I had one whole plate of Nasi Goreng yesterday.. and the day before that I had Keropok (a whole buch of it) *sigh* ya ya ya ... I'm not a freak... I just want to lead a healthy life... to be able to wear that Baju Kebaya again... and to be able to smile when I look at my abs... and not to hold out my tounge panting when I climb up the stairs.... and to eye on that two piece bikini .... finally !

Monday, September 01, 2003


Being a Muslim dog a taboo subject. Its considred as one group with PIGS, which is Haram/forbidden in Islam.

On the contrary, I like dogs, in general as compared to cats. I just hate cats. Cats are arrogant and snobbish. But dogs are loyal. They may not be as smart as cats, but then cats are so manupulative. Anyway, I love Hush Puppies best.

Sunday, August 31, 2003


So what ? Its still sad and disgusting when we have all the first class facilities but with the third world mentalities ...... (its been a favourite phrase now ... ) *sigh*