Wednesday, August 30, 2006

I Want ......

A friend whos getting married asked me whether shes going to be a good wife or not?

I said to her:

"Insya Allah you will be one ! The reason being: because you want to be a good wife"

I truly believe if you want something , the first step is "to want" it.

You cant just be rich if you never wanted to be rich in the first place.

Once you set something in your mind all your actions will work towards achieving it.

You will only get what you set in your mind first.
And thats when your subconcious mind will catch your intention and trigger your actions.

So whenever you re up to something please check your intention and your want first.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006


You know why Malaysia still cannot be a developed country ? Because Malaysians have yet to reach the same standard of mentality. Malaysians have yet to come to the same level of thinking.

I truly believe that there are so may things that make us what we are today but on top on the list is the mentality which is derived from ones' exposure and education background. Mentality and our way of thinking differentiate us from one another.

Your mentality and your way of thinking come from your everyday exposure, your level of education and your family background too.

A is an architecht. "A"'s father is a lawyer, his grandfather was a civil servant who went to further his study in England. A lives in a city and went to a local university.

B is also an architect. "B"'s father on the other hand is only a farmer and his grandfather was also a farmer. B has been living in his kampung all his life until form six when he then managed to get into a local university just like A.
Even though both of them are architecths in their own right, if you look closely at both of their personalities, you will find certain behaviours and characteristics that differ them from one another.

A person who comes from a lower family background tend to behave and think differently from a person from a middle class family even though when both are standing on the same platform. A person with various and vast exposure like A would be more relax and confident while a person like B sometimes would try so hard to look like A that they look so ridiculous.

Without any intention to undermine the kampung folks ( as I am also from a kampung ) we have to accept that our mentalities may never be the same as the city folks.

A kampung folk would be raving mad when they heard Amani said "I look stupid if I speak in Malay"

Whereas a city folk would take the remark "as it is" without being judgmental because most of the city folks do use English as their first language . But, they (city folks) understand that that kind of statement would make their kampung counterparts angry. Very angry .... grrrrrrrrr!

Like I said, even though most of these people like B's background are now living in a city like KL even for many many years, their exposure would still not be at par with people like A's background.

Like the famous saying:

"You can take a boy from the kampung; but you will never take the kampung out of the boy"

which is very true.

But you know what..... only the children of B will someday be at par with A when A's children would have ventured a few steps further (even from B) ....

The reason why Malaysia has yet to become a developed country is because it may take another generation of B kind of people to reach the same mentality and exposure like A. And can you imagine if B did not get to the university where he remains in the kampung and only his son gets to get out of the kampung and be an architect, which means that only B's grandson will be at the same level with A.

I believe that many of the developed countries have reached that stage .... where most of their citizens have come to that standard phase of the same mentality.


But funny thing about Malaysia, we develop too fast materially whereas our mentality has yet to catch up with the material world.

I give you one example:

The treadmills I use in my gym. The treadmills are the latest ones but they are always out of order because those people screw them up, they do not know how to handle its complexity.

Unlike in the USA where going to gym has been their culture for more that a few early decades from us, the Americans grew up with the technology. Like they must have been using the basic treadmill and slowly change to use a later and later ones until the technology reaches the high-end treadmill.

Unlike us when we started with a basic treadmill we did not grow with the technology, we jump straight to the high-end-complex-hard-to-handle-machinery like the treadmills they have in my gym. Its like when you learn mathematics from the basic 1 + 1 and suddenly within a matter of one or two years you re shoved with calculus. And thats why the treadmills are out of order just like any student who would also be "out-of-order" if they have to learn calculus without going through the basic backgrounds.

And thats why when the internet and computer technologies catched up on us.... many of our youngsters are so taken up by this new technologies that we have to catch them at the internet cafe during school hours .


But come to think of it, we have been independant for only 49 years .... whereas :-

1. Thailand _ Never been c0lonised
2.England - England has existed as a unified entity since the 10th century
3.America - 4th July 1776
4.Australia -1 January 1901

Ok I managed to Google only that 4 countries .... and thats in term of "Independency"

and we have yet to touch on civilization ...... which of course ..... we will never match:-

Chinese, Indians, Egyptians or what more Persians or even " orang putih" .....

And I felt like rolling on the floor laughing when "they" talk about Melayu Baru to conquer the world ...... Adehhhhhhh!

The problem we have is that we think "We are the best" not knowing that there are many other countries better than us .... well in many aspects ... but to discuss this will jeorpadize my sleep....


Friday, August 18, 2006

Call Me Crazy .....

This is the small fountain pool they have at the Masjid Zahir's compound. Its has been there for as long as I could remember. It holds a special memory of how crazy I used to be (and still am). I was about 8 or perhaps 9 when my Aunt brought me and my brother and two other cousins to the mosque. As we were outside waiting for her, my eyes suddenly fell onto that pool, and you have no idea how crazy I could be with water (I just cannot stand looking at any river, swimming pool or lake or even that small pool) I had this sudden urge to plunge into the pool.

Me: Cik (my cousin) Aku nak terjun mandi kat kolam tu
(I want to jump into the pool)

Cik : Wehh.. hang gila ka ?
(Are you crazy ...??)

Me: Tak pa lah Cik.... Aku tak tahan dah ni...
(Oh Come on.. its ok . I just cant stand it anymore)

As I the conversation went on, I was actually pulling the zipper of my dress and almost running to the pool.

And yes, in my only underwear, I jumped into the small pool and had the blast of my 8 years (maybe 9)life. I remember that I even dived under the water and only to come up to my Aunt's glaring angry face, shouting at me to come out of the water ....

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Happiness Is ....

Hanging out with my cousin, Adik , my adorable Adik. Shes always been the subject of my tug-n-war with my sister beacuse my sister and I both want her to be each other's gang ! The last time she was my "gang" because Anis was in KL., but when Anis and I meet, Adik would point out that she doesnt belong to any "gang".

Friday, August 11, 2006

The Three Articles

Article 3
(1) Islam is the religion of the Federation; but other religions may be practised in peace and harmony in any part of the Federation.

Article 4
(1) This Constitution is the supreme law of the Federation and any law passed after Merdeka Day which is inconsistent with this Constitution shall, to the extent of the inconsistency, be void

Article 11
(1) Every person has the right to profess and practice his religion and, subject to Clause (4), to propagate it.

Why are you then crying out today when Lina has converted to Christianity? There is nothing one can do if she so chooses because these are the Articles that have allowed her to.

You cant do anything because the reason is you as a Muslim has failed in making this country an Islamic country. Whether you like it or not, the fact remains that Malaysia has never been an Islamic country, though UMNO has been chanting that it is. Why are you shouting now at Lina, because even when PAS has been making proposal towards HUDUD, not all Muslims have been behind PAS. The Hudud proposal may not be a perfect one but at least it is one small step towards an Islamic country.

But what you, UMNO did when Hudud was brought up by Pas? You shot it down. Instead of helping Pas in amending the draft, you even let all your non-muslims counter parts have their say when they should not interfer at all with Hudud, because Hudud is a Muslims' business.

Apostacy is not the only seven deadly sins. Drinking, adultery have been part and parcial of many Muslims' lifesyle now and what have we done to stop all these ? We havent. We cant do anything when the primary principle which we should have taken steps towards it has not been taken care of.

As per Article 3, Islam as the religion of the Federation has been implied only to rituals and not more than that.And nothing in the constitution mentions that Islamic Law is paramount because Article 4 clearly states that nothing is above the Constitution.

Having a Muslim Prime Minister does not make Malaysia an Islamic country.
Having an International Islamic University does not make Malaysia an Islamic country.
Having Bank Islam Malaysia Berhad does not make Malaysia an Islamic country.

How can Malaysia be one if the Constitution is the Supreme Law ?

Didnt we Muslims realize these before ? These are the roots behind all the troubles now. The non-Muslims are right to depend on the three Articles.

We should have fought the Article 3, Article 4 and Article 11 long before Lina's case. Instead of bashing Lina we should have bashed those who were behind the creation of the Constitution and those who never do anything to amend it.

And yes, I still uphold my view that those Muslims should not be among the groups who are for Lina and her rights. Let the non-Muslims fight whateverv they think are their rights, but you Muslims brothers and sisters shouldnt be in their camp.You should instead be helping your Muslims brothers and sisters to create an Islamic country.

If only Malaysia is an Islamic country, things wouldnt be the same.

(But to debate what type of an ideal Islamic country....thats another issue.....)

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Lina Joy Who Is Not Joyous

In the name of Allah, Gracious, Merciful.

Say: O Disbelievers!
I worship not that which ye worship

Nor worship ye that which I worship.

And I shall not worship that which ye worship

Nor will ye worship that which I worship.

Unto you your Religion and unto me, my Religion

Surah Al Kaafirun

Do not interfer with Our religion
as we have never interfered with Yours

You do not cross this line

And to you Muslims who are across the border:
Why are you there?
When you should have been with your Muslim brothers and sisters here?

Even if you you do not agree with some of your brothers and sisters views over here
it does not justify your choice of being in their camp

Dont you remember ?

Lakum Deenukum Wali Ya Deen

Let them be
But your place is here

You have helped them
You have paved their way into our ground
You opened the gate for them

....... you ve betrayed your family......

Whats in it for you?

Do you sleep better at night ?
Do you feel good ?

On what basis ?

On humanity ?
On individuality ?
On freedom of choice ?

But before you sleep tonite

Ask this question to yourself
(as I have been asking myself)

Where do I Stand In this Matter

not as a humanitarian
not as a lecturer
not as a politician
not as a lawyer
not as a judge
not as any body you think you are

but only

Tujuh Nafas Lagi - On My Death Bed

Inikah dia
Yang kuimpikan
Dalam lambaian firdaus
Kali ini kuharapkan
Bukan fatamorgana lagi
I am on my deathbed, is this the feeling I should be having,
I can see and feel the heaven; which I hope is not just a mirage.
Jiwa lama bersengketa
Sedang hakikatnya kita sama-sama redha
Hati hamba dah sedia
Perjalanan ini tinggal tujuh nafas lagi
Its this fight inside of me not to die
But we (YOU and I) both know its a fact that we have accepted
I am now ready to go
My journey is left with only seven breaths
Aku juga pernah persoalkan kekuatan batinku
Dalam seribu kekalutan kucinta
Dalam sejuta resah kucinta jua
Dalam mimpi ngeri kulihat cinta
Dalam rasa paling rendah kuangkat cinta
Just like all of you
I have doubts about the strenght of my inner soul
But in in all my unrestlessness I feel love (HIS Love)
In all my nervouseness I can still feel love (His Love)
Even in my nightmares I can still see love (His Love)
Even in my weaknesses I try to uphold love (Love for Him)
Rinduku bukanlah murahan
Jika mahu dianggapkan mainan
Kau tanya bilangan namamu kusebut
Jawapnya hanya sekali nafas tak terputus
I long for you Ya Allah
and I'm saying it just not for the sake of saying it
YOU ask me how many times do I utter (remember) YOUR Names
Its endless Ya Allah because in just one breath the chain of your names are endless (inside of me)

Cintaku yang kumaksudkan
Seperti buih-buih di bibir lautan*
Seperti nafas yang meresapi badan
Seperti kenangan yang tak pernah luput selamanya

My love for YOU Ya Allah
is like the foams at the lips of sea
spreading over my body
like a memory that never fades.....

* the lyric in the booklet put "di milik lautan" which i think if you listen carefully to the song shoud be "di bibir lautan" because you can find loads of foam only at the beach, which is the lips of the sea


I have to make a correction with regard to my last entry, and after a discussion with my cK, the song has nothing to do with sex. Seven breaths actually refers to the usual term used by the Sufis to express their last breaths before death.

Contrary to its upbeat rythm "broadway like" (as put by Nora)the song actually tells a story of the feeling of one is having as he is nearing death, it may not necessarily be at his deathbed (because death is in fact never far from us), it can also refer to a feeling at the highest level of divine relationship with Allah where the Sufis would refer it as "die before you die" where when you get to that stage,nothing else matters as it is only you and HIM and when there is nothing else except HIM, you are as good as a dead man (thats how cK puts it).

The person is feeling Oneness with HIM in his Dzikir and that he is surrounded by HIS love..... and is ready to end his life journey to go back to HIM for he has been longing to be with HIM

I have now with me "The Conference of the Birds" by Farid Ud-Din Attar for me to understand "Tanya Sama Itu Hud-Hud"

Dear Sifu, if you are reading this, please confirm my comprehension of this lyric.

Sunday, August 06, 2006

Tujuh Nafas Lagi

Inikah dia
Yang kuimpikan
Dalam lambaian firdaus
Kali ini kuharapkan
Bukan fatamorgana lagi

Jiwa lama bersengketa
Sedang hakikatnya kita sama-sama redha
Hati hamba dah sedia
Perjalanan ini tinggal tujuh nafas lagi

Aku juga pernah persoalkan kekuatan batinku
Dalam seribu kekalutan kucinta
Dalam sejuta resah kucinta jua
Dalam mimpi ngeri kulihat cinta
Dalam rasa paling rendah kuangkat cinta

Rinduku bukanlah murahan
Jika mahu dianggapkan mainan
Kau tanya bilangan namamu kusebut
Jawapnya hanya sekali nafas tak terputus

Cintaku yang kumaksudkan
Seperti buih-buih dimilik lautan
Seperti nafas yang meresapi badan
Seperti kenangan yang tak pernah luput selamanya



Lets face it, M Nasir's songs are hard to comprehend. He just doesnt simply write songs for the sake of writing songs. There are always something behind the lyrics if you look close enough. And usually his lyrics are very close to sufism. Like the one in his song "Tanya Sama Itu Hud-Hud", youd think that its just a song, but I actually believe that most of his listeners have no ideas what Hud-Hud was he talking about.

This one too is no exception. What does he actually mean by the "Seven Breaths". Is it the seven breaths in respect to the Dzikir by the sufis. When MNasir talks about love he sometimes not necessarily mean the love of man-woman relationship, althoug the lyrics can sometimes be in that direction, but love to M.Nasir is more universal and I'd like to think that it is more towards the Divine relationship with Allah SWT. The Sufis would sometimes refer, in pointing out their views, to include something like "until his seven last breaths".

I'd like to think that this song particularly describes the feeling of the highest level of relationship one can have with Allah SWT. Like hes saying that as a servant he is now ready to face "HIM" at his deathbed "Hati hamba dah sedia .. perjalanan ini tinggal tujuh nafas lagi".

But when he said "sepertimu" I dont think hes referring to the other person as to a woman, I think hes talking to us in general, doubting his inner strenght, but through the love of Allah and the love he feels for Allah he could face everything even at his worst he could only feel the love of Allah.

When he mentions "rindu" he is longing for Allah and thats its not something he said for the sake of saying it .. because to long for HIM is to be able to remember and 'dzikir' HIS NAMES endlessly ...... dzikir which is part and parcel of sufism and of course of any committed muslims

The love for HIM is overwhelming him "seperti nafas yang meresapi badan" like when you re in deep thoughts of Allah, Allah, Allah ... the dzikir will be flowing through one's body ... into oneness with HIM


maybe it can also be something in relation to sex, but in a very subtle and polite way when the man is feeling that love can make him feel this way up in cloud nine.... heaven ... "dalam lambaian firdausi" and hoping that its just not an illusion that he cant have "bukan fatamorgana lagi". Because seven way of breathing according to some views, can boost your sexuality.

Oh how I wish I can get in touch with "the Sifu" himself to get into his thoughts....

and ahhh.. by the way before my wish is granted, I thinkI have to dig more into Qadir Jalani or Naqsyabandi or Rumi or Khayyam ..............

Saturday, August 05, 2006

We Come In Packages

Thats what we all are. We come in packages. We have our bads and goods, our ups and downs, but one thing for sure we are all not perfect. We have flaws. By accepting the flaws in one another we can become closer. You can have a best friend because that best friend can accept and has accepted your flaws too. If your friend can only acknowledge without accepting your flaws, she can never be your best friend.

When you make a choice you take everything that comes with that one decision you make. The choice comes in packages with all its negatives and positives , you either take it all or leave it. You can never be selective of the items in that package as to choose which item you d want to take and which one you wouldnt want to take. Like when you buy something that comes in a box, you take the one whole box with you home, even when you find out later that some items are to your dislike.

The same concept applies to even a love relationship. You chose the person you are now with because of all the good things you see in him. And as you get to know him better and closer his flaws will tend to come up to the surface. This is the time when you have to make another decision and choice. If you can accept his flaws and you know that his goodness are far outweighs his flaws, you will definitely keep him. And if you feel that you cannot take his nonsense, you have the option to walk away. You cannot blame the person for what he is, because thats his package, you can of course talk and discuss the thing with him. If you re lucky, he might change, and if he doesnt, its nobody's faults, it was never meant to be and its what they call "incompatibility".

People gets into relationship with lots of expectations and hopes. But we tend to forget that the only things that always left us frustrated and hurt are the things that we expect and hope the most. Like when you expected to get straight As in your SPM, when you get less of only one A, you ll get dissapointed and hurt and sad. But if you expect to get only a few As, a few more As with two Bs would be like a bonus to you. The higher your expetactions and hopes are,the more likely of the risk of being diassapointed, frustrated and hurt.

When we enter into a relationship with too much expecatiotions and hopes we open ourselves to being hurt and dissapointed. To keep your expectations and hopes and a minimum would help even only a little.

The best method I think in helping us go through a relationship is to pray. To pray that you can handle the relationship with open heart and wisdom, for HIM to give you the strenght and patient when the relationship is at its worst. To pray that no matter whatever happens you will both carry on the relationship with love and care so as not to hurt one another.

But to abandon hopes and expectations altogether is futile. How can we have no expectations and hopes at all... we are, afterall, humans ....