Candle

How do you possibly stop a candle

from burning itself

You ll do anything just to preserve it  ....

but

try as you may 

the light and the candle will soon fade away

there are things in life we can never change

they just happen

and they just be

they are what they are

and we only have to decide

wether we want to accept

or

let not them affect 

and have an impact

on 

us

:-)

Tenang

Seperti biskut Tiger yang menunggu masa untuk larut ke dalam air coklat.

Bukan lah aku ini sibuk seperti ahli politik yang berkempen di dua Bukit. Aku sekadar sibuk dengan tugasan oleh Yan. Begini ceritanya, aku, setelah melihat tekad Hadie, untuk membuat projek 365 di mana setiap hari satu gambar perlu diambil dan diletakkan di Flickr!, aku merasakan aku juga mahu menyertainya. Tetapi untuk mengambil satu gambar setiap hari bukanlah mudah; kamera perlu di bawa ke mana-mana, dan subjek juga perlu dicari. Untuk membantu aku, aku meminta jasa baik Yan untuk memberi tugasan dengan satu perkataan pada setiap hari supaya aku lebih terarah dalam mencari subjek gambar.

Yan yang baik itu pun membuat senarai untuk setiap hari bagi membantu aku mengambil gambar. Juga tidak mudah seperti yang disangka. Contohnya bila Yan memberi perkataan "Tenang". Memang mudah kalau hanya mengambil gambar air yang tenang seperti sungai atau tasik .. tapi aku rasa itu terlalu 'biasa'.

Makanya aku mengambil dua keadaan tenang yang satunya telah pun ada di Flickr!

Dan Yan juga ada memberi komen membina. Walaupun Yan bukanlah seorang jurugambar, tapi sebab dia adalah seorang Pereka Gambar Kulit Buku, aku rasa dia layak untuk komen kerana Yan tahu apa yang dimahukan dari satu-satu gambar.

Dan aku seperti perangai seorang ADD, sekarang sedang bermusim di Flickr dengan tekun... haha.

Jangan tanya kelas khat aku ... sebab aku masih lagi berguru ok .

:-)

Sekadar Mahu Ingatkan Diri Jua

ada hari kita di atas
tapi jangan sombong sangat
jangan belagak jangan takabbur
jangan ingat dunia ini kita yang punya

kerana
ada hari kita akan berada di bawah pula
di ketepikan orang di pijak-pijak

memang sentiasa setiap kita ada hari

maka ucapkanlah Selamat Tinggal Khairy .....

kamu itu buku yang sudah berjumpa "ruas"nya

*bukti bahawa doa dan makian orang yang teraniaya memang dimakbul Tuhan.

ruas Khairy = mantan PM yang sealiran darah ...

Why Didnt RPK File The Defence

He wants to cover his informers

:-|

Tag Tag Flickr Tag

1. Aniqah @ d'zoo, 2. Cajun Chicken Pasta for When You Don't Feel Like Grocery Shopping, 3. maktab mahmud, 4. a white rose, 5. Vin Diesel, 6. Water tastes warm, 7. Backpacking across Europe, 8. Tiramisu, 9. Artists Field Bag, 10. Life itself, 11. Optimistic, 12. Queen's office -ii-

Rules~
Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr search.
Then, using only the first page, pick an image.

Then, copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into this mosaic maker (http://bighugelabs.com/flickr/mosaic.php)

1. What is your first name?
A*****

2. What is your favorite food?
Pasta

3. What high school did you go to?
MM

4. What is your favorite color?
White

5. Who is your celebrity crush?
Vin Diesel (LOL .. I know)

6. Favorite drink?
Warm water

7. Dream vacation?
Backpacking Europe

8. Favorite dessert?
Tiramisu

9. What you want to be when you grow up?
Artist ... (hahaha considering I ve NEVER grown up .. just yet)

10 What do you love most in life?
Life itself

11 One Word to describe you?
Optimistic

12 Your flickr name?
Anickue

Ya, mari kita tag mereka yang memang tak suka di tag seperti Hadie, Aliza, Yan, Adik saya, Is (ya awak), Ayu Hassan sebab saya rasa mereka ini saja la yang baca blog saya.

:-P

He s Not Meant To Be

Whatever you want to say about him, you know he's a nice man, personally. Maybe its just not meant for him to be the PM. Malaysia needs someone opposite of 'nice' to lead her. I truly believe that Allah doesnt want him there for too long. He can never survive being in that position.

How can you say someone not nice and decent when he took the GF to "Tilawah Al Quran" on their first date ?

How can he stay up there too long after all the dua's from his long long 'ulama' ancestors to protect their line of blood from all that is corrupt.

You are saved Pak Lah ! ... by HIM

:-)

Huruf Pun Ada Hak

"Setiap huruf ada haknya.

Bagi Khat Raq'ah; hak bagi huruf 'Alif' ada tiga nuqtah panjangnya,

untuk huruf 'Ba' juga tiga ....

Kepala huruf 'Wau' dan 'Fa' dan 'Qhaf' adalah satu nuqtah.

Kamu mesti beri hak untuk setiap semua huruf"

Ustaz Ahmad Mustafa
Sifu Khat

Aku hanya mengangguk-angguk mendengar, tidak begitu terpanah di dalam hati sehinggalah semalam bila hak aku cuba dinafikan. Aku rasa memang setiap dari kita mempunyai hak masing-masing yang perlu diakui oleh orang lain.

Kita tidak boleh melarang seseorang untuk menggunapakai haknya, walaupun definasi bagi setiap orang tentang maksud "hak" itu mungkin tidak akan sama.

Walaupun kamu tak akan dapat bersetuju dengan maksud 'hak' orang lain tadi, paling tidak kamu mestilah menghurmati apa yang dirasakannya.

Dan cubalah faham; menghurmati tidak bermaksud kamu perlu bersetuju ....

Dan jangan sekali-kali menepikan 'hak' tersebut

:-|

Oh Tuhanku ! Mengapa Dia Begini ?

Datuk Seri Dr. Mohammad Khir Toyo mendakwa kekalahannya dalam pemilihan jawatan kerusi Pemuda Umno kelmarin berpunca daripada perbuatan sabotaj pembangkang dan ahli parti sendiri.

"Saya ingat memang ada isu-isu yang telah dibangkitkan pembangkang untuk burukkan nama saya kerana mereka bimbang kalau saya menang... mereka cukup bimbang," katanya.

Ditanya sama ada beliau akan mengambil apa-apa tindakan undang-undang berhubung perkara tersebut beliau berkata perkara tersebut tidak perlu.

"Tak perlu... Tuhan akan balas apa yang mereka buat," katanya.

Source: here

Boleh Kalau Nak Belagak Sombong ...

tapi
kenalah jadi yang terbaik
yang tiada kelemahan
tiada cacat cela
elok segala segi
pendek kata
jadi sempurna terlebih dahulu

tapi lagi
perlulah juga ingat
Siapakah
yang tiada kelemahan
tiada cacat cela
elok segala segi
yang lebih sempurna

Melainkan hanya DIA

Yang Maha Kuasa

Jangan pakai baju "takabbur" kalau diri tidak mampu

:-|

Motien's Kids

Its always a havoc whenever I pay them a visit. I love them as much as they love me. Najmi the eldest is too old to come and hang around with me now, his voice is in the process of transforming and he refused to say not even one word to me. The youngest Tasnim is only a few months old and what makes her special is because we both share the same birth date !

The other four are now taking their eldest bother's place jumping and having a blast time with me. Guess who's the one who has not grown up after all ...!!!

:-D

You Are What Your Cat Is

Popo sleeps exactly the same way I do

:-)

What Is Your Name ?

Kamu bernasib baik sebab berminat dan mahu menggunakan Bahasa Inggeris. Saya juga tidak rasa salahnya jika Bahasa Inggeris digunakan untuk belajar Ilmu Hisab dan Sains, tapi cuba kamu ke Kuala Nerang Kedah dan tanya kan pada anak sekolah di situ:-

What is your name ?
Ahmad

Where do you live ?
Yes

How do you go to school ?
No

Do you like to play football?
Ahmad

What does your father do ?
Ahmad

Saya kasihankan anak-anak kampung di situ. Kalau dulu hanya susah hati sebab lemah Bahasa Inggeris, sekarang juga menangis sebab lemah dalam Bahasa Inggeris, Ilmu Hisab dan Sains. Anak sekolah tidak akan mampu menguasai Bahasa Inggeris dengan baik jika kita tidak dapat menyediakan Guru-guru yang boleh Berbahasa Inggeris dengan baik.

Pergilah ke mana-mana sekolah di kampung dan carilah soalan Matematik dalam Bahasa Inggeris yang disediakan guru. Soalannya saja bercelaru dan berterabur aturan grammar. Jangan kata budak, aku pun tak paham soalan.

Sedihkan jika hanya anak-anak di bandar besar yang beruntung dengan penggunaan B Inggeris dalam pelajaran.

Anak ahli politik tak payah cakaplah, mereka di International School dan Boarding School di England atau Australia.

:-|

Lets Play Tag Tag

I ve been tagged by Hadie. Balas dendam katanya ....

1. Last beverage→ Yogurt Drink
2. Last phone call→Mommy
3. Last text message→ Hadie
4. Last song you listened to→ So7 (hahaha)
5. Last time you cried→ this afternoon

HAVE YOU EVER :
6. Dated someone twice → Nope
7. Been cheated on?--> Not that Im aware of
9. Lost someone special?→ Nope
10. Been depressed?→ Occasionally
11. Been drunk? Nope

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:
12. White
13. Blue
14. Green

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU :
15. Made new friends → Yes
16. Fallen out of love →Nope
17. Laughed until you cried → Yes ... yesterday !
18. Met someone who changed you→ Nope
19. Found out who your true friends were→Always know them
20. Found out someone was talking about you→ Yeap
21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list→ Nope
22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life→ Not many
23. How many kids do you want to have→ One
24. Do you have any pets → Yes, my cat Popo
25. Do you want to change your name→ I m OK with it
26. What did you do for your last birthday→ Nothing
27. What time did you wake up today → 8:15
28. What were you doing at midnight last night→ Sleeping
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for → Vacation !
30. Last time you saw your father→ Tonight.. just now
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life → Nothing
32. What are you listening to right now → Sounds of DVD my brother is watching "Black Books" (BBC)
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom → Nope. Che Mat , Yes
34. What's getting on your nerves right now? → Turtle Slow
36. Whats your real name → Do I have to ?

37. Relationship Status → Single but not available
38. Zodiac sign→ Scorpio
39. Male or female→ Female
40. Elementary→ Tadika Bidayah
41. Middle School → Hj Mohd Sharif, Asma
42. High school → Sekolah Pondok
43. Hair color → Black
44. Long or short → Hoping for longer hair
45. Height → 166cm
46. Do you have a crush on someone?→ Hmmm.. not anymore
47. What do you like about yourself?→ Being Different (eceh.. )
48. Piercings → Nope
49. Tattoos → I wish I could (huh)
50. Righty or lefty → Righty

FIRSTS :
51. First surgery → On my shoulder
52. First piercing → Ears .. but they're blocked now
53. First tattoo→ Henna .. yes
54. First best friend→ Noraini, Standard One SKRHjMohdShariff
55. First sport you joined →Running
56. First pet → Cat, Popo
57. First vacation remembered → Langkawi 1988
58. First concert → Celine Dione
59. First crush→ Ahhh.... I was 4 and he was 17
60. First alcohol drink—> Never

RIGHT NOW:
61. Eating → Trying my best with my diet
62. Drinking → Water
63. I'm about to → Sleep when Hadie SMS about this tag !
64. Listening to → Still listening to "Black Books" series from outside
65. Waiting for → this tag to finish and hope to get it published before I sleep

YOUR FUTURE :
66. Want kids? → Hope so
67. Want to get married?→ Yupe
68. Careers in mind?→ On the right track now

WHICH IS BETTER WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX?
69. Lips or eyes → Eyes
70. Hugs or kisses → Hugs are okay
71. Shorter or taller → Taller
72. Older or Younger → Doesn't matter.
73. Romantic or spontaneous → Spontaneous
74. Nice stomach or nice arms → Stomach... 6 pack is more than enough
75. Tattoos or piercings—> Neither
76. Sensitive or loud → Sensitive
77. Hook-up or relationship → Relationship
78. Trouble maker or hesitant→ Trouble maker!

HAVE YOU EVER :
79. Kissed a stranger → Nope
80. Drank hard liquor → Nope
81. Lost glasses/contacts → All the time
82. Sex on first date → I dont think so
83. Broken someone's heart → Really ? Dont think so
84. Had your own heart broken → Yupe
85. Been arrested?→ Nope
86. Turned someone down → Hmmm... not that I know
87. Cried when someone died → Yes
88. Liked a friend that is a girl? → Yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
89. Yourself → Yes
90. Miracles → Yes
91. Love at first sight → Yes
92. Heaven → Yes
93. Santa Claus → Why spoil the fun ?
94. Tooth Fairy? → I think its gross
95. Angels → Yupe

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
96. Is there one person you want to be with right now? → Yes
97. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time? → No
98. Do you believe its possible to remain faithful forever?→ Yupe
99. What's the one thing you cannot live without?→ My Passion !
100. Posting this as 100 truth?→ Yupe. And what if I lied ???

:-P

Verily Allah Is With Those Who Are Patient

Verily Allah Is With Those Who Are Patient
Originally uploaded by anickue

I am now learning to write Arabic Calligraphy : Khat Raq'ah : I have finally, Alhamdulillah, met the Guru and am now learning the meticulous method ! And the Ustaz is having a hard time with me because I am clumsy and impatient whereas in khat you have to be very very calm and composed ..... 

ps: Ustaz even asked "How do you drive a car" to which I answered " errrr... very fast Ustaz"

"Innallah ha Ma'a Assabirin Ya A***** !"

I Have Homework To Do Now

Alhamdulillah !

Found the Master !

Finally

:-)

25 Things

Sara Tagged me, so here it goes :

1. I never liked cats, but now I have one at home which I love to death. I read books about cats and did research on them before I went to the wet market looking for one.

2. I wore white tudung like school girls and only tried to wear colored ones recently, because I had this idea that only white tudung goes with my face.

3. I dont like to fold newly bought newspapers

4. I flip open my magazines carefully and I cant stand people flipping the pages roughly

5. I jumped into the fountain pool in front of Masjid Zahir when I was 8 because I love just any kind of pool as long as there s water in it and because I was impulsive

6. I also ran and jumped into a small river when I was 4 after my father, who was fishing, told me to stay in the car.

7. I never finished the skirt we had to make in Standard 6.

8. I played trumpet when I was 11 after I joined the school band, and I played "Widuri" song, solo, with my trumpet, that same year during a stage show at the end of the school term

9. I dont mind people making mistake, I just cant tolerate bad attitudes.

10. I am quite a sharp shooter when it comes to shooting netball or basketball. I always win when playing "the ladder" (basketball) even with the boys

11. I put off things until the last minute. That panic attack can boost my inspiration and creativity .. ecehh..

12. I am a very optimistic person; to the extend that a friend once told the others NOT to tell me if they had a crush on any boys because "Ann will be so positive and optimistic about your crush that you'd believe you WILL or CAN get the boy"

13. My mind works wonders that I cant control it most of the times. I may seem to be listening but my mind is actually somewhere else. You have to help bring me back to earth sometimes.

14. I sleep on one side of the bed to make room for my books magazines ibook phone pencils notebooks tudung ipod hangers....

15. I am a "Jack of Many Trades; Master of None" because I have difficulty focusing on the current interest for too long and I soon move on to another activity, but most of my pursuits will come and go round and round like a circle.

16. I read "The Firm" (John Grisham) 4 times

17. I love Calvin n Hobbes ! And I still buy The Archies sometimes.

18. Not all perfumes suit me, I had to give away/sell some perfumes I bought just because they didnt go well with me

19. I am ok without air-conds. In fact sometimes I feel more comfortable with the air-cond off in my room at the office. I dont have one in my house.

20. When I was small I "swam" with my hands and feet flapping on my grandmother's carpet, imagining it to be the sea or river. And dont ask me why I decided to put my underwear on my head as “goggles” during the "swim".

21.I dont have issues taking busses to work or go places. And I dont mind walking too, even if its a long one, but not in heels of course.

22. I had a crazy internet love relationship with a Palembang guy many many years ago and I was even prepared to move "seberang".

23.I can listen to people's problems and help them solving the problems. I put different perspective to their problems and help them see things differently.

24. I used to easily believe whatever people told me. A friend who was staying in Sik told me once that her house had a swimming pool and I believed her. Her house was actually a very poor kampung house and I followed her mother went rubber tapping deep in the woods.

25.White is the new black for me

:-)

I now tag Sekut, AT80, Blue, Ijul, My Sister, IsBatuBintang, Ayu Hassan and of course Hadie.

Hani Finally Joined The Club

My cousin is now officially a wife !

:-)

Judgmental

We all have different values in life. What you think is important to you might not be so to other persons. And what some other persons consider to be the top on their priority list may not be so on yours. 

Its a matter of how to compromise with all these different values and how much you want to lean and bend backwards or forward so as to accommodate with other people's  values. 

Even so, I still think that when it comes to certain issues and matters, we might discover that most people would be standing on the same ground of values, and it would be difficult for us to understand those who do not stand on that same ground.

I am still trying to understand this certain issue I m facing and I m so close to label a  few people as "very uncouth".

I wish I dont have to be judgmental but like I said, on certain issues, I do expect us all to be on the same stage. 

My mistake.

:-|

Remember That Time ....

Dont you love this song ?

It reminds us of the many things in life
takes us to the trailer journey of our existence
reaches our soul;
yearning for more
so that we appreciate just every moments
because most of them
might never come again for the second time


:-)

My Mother

I never had a good relationship with my mother. She was one of the 'garang' teachers in school. One you would never dare to come across. The one you will remember all through out your life because she pinched you in the stomach for forgetting to bring your PJ trousers.

So you can imagine, I lived with that teacher.

Her mere presence intimidated me.It was never easy to be left alone with her in a room. I would literally suffocate because it seemed that she breathed in all the air in the room and left me choking. I was always terrified of her. She had this power over me that I could still see her eyes watching me even when shes miles away. Slowly I began to create a space between her and me. And because she could never really reach me, I suspected that she was going through my personal things and diary so as to keep track of my ongoing activities. To this day, I still find it hard to write a diary, but I do find comfort in writing this blog because my mother still needs someone to switch on her Tetris computer game.

It took me a lot of courage to break away from her authoritarian power over me. She was always challenging and provoking just to hurt me. And how she played the game of guilt, like most mothers do, so that she could still hold the chain on my neck. But I always tried not to cry in her presence during any of her scoldings unless when the pain was so much to bear. I cried in the bathroom, on the way to school on my bicycle, in my sleep and I always felt that I was no good, never good enough and a sinner for always making her angry. Sometimes at night when I was crying myself to sleep I would pray and promise to Allah that I would be a good daughter to her.

The reason why women should get married at certain age is because Allah wants you to get out of your parents' house. But as my jodoh wasn't (and still isn't) around the corner, it was difficult on my mother too for having a single daughter jumping around the house even when I had started working at the time. She was feeling like I was still depending on her by still hanging around the house even though I did all I could to pay my share in the house like settling the bills. I think she took it as a sign of weakness and still treated me like I was 10. The pressure was so tense.

My mother could never imagine I would be doing anything against her wish and command. She would always say " If you dont like staying here, get out of my house". I didnt take the words as a challenge but I did feel like I had to get out of the house. But you see, this is Alor Star, not KL, its just not done for a daughter to go out and rent a house within the same town of her parents. But I did just that. All hells broke loose when she found out I wanted to move out. But I made my decision because I knew, had I stayed on, it would be more difficult for the two of us. I needed my space and even though she would never admit it, my mother too needed to see less of my face. It was not easy for me and to her it was the ultimate resistant on my part.

I prayed everyday to Allah for my relationship to be better with my mother. Ya, everyday, during my prayers and even when driving in my car. The chant of "Ya Allah, please make my relationship with my mother better and better. Please forgive me Ya Allah" was endless.

After the move, I still kept on going back to see her every now and then, to prove to her that I was not going away from her. I would always be her daughter no matter what and she would always be my mother in this world and in the hereafter. Allah IS Most Merciful because our relationship does get better in time. She started to see and take me as an adult, not pulling my strings so as to make me follow her. She confides in me and I would have never imagined that I could actually have a talk with her. We call each other over the phone every now and then. I also learn to look at her differently; to see the background where she comes from and the reasons for her behavior and from there on I try to understand her hopes, her fears, and her frustration. I see my mother now not only as a mother but first as a woman like many of us, with all our own different baggage.

You can never expect a person to change, but what you can do is to change your reaction towards them. You have to have a certain control over your own feelings not to let other people's actions affect you. Sometimes you have to make stand and not to let anyone, yes anyone push you around. I know now, even when I make a stand to my mother, its not that I'm being 'derhaka', the only thing is that I must find away on how to go about it so that my mother wont feel hurt with me; to explain to her the reasons for my stands or actions. Its much easier these days because she has accepted the fact that I am no longer her 10 year old daughter.

I had a hard way of putting my relationship with my mother to where it is now. You see, my mother never actually changes, she sometimes still tries to come up with her tricks and antics to have her own way, but she knows now that she is dealing with an adult daughter who wont want to be treated any other way. I have somehow earned her respect and my mother too has earned my love.

Ayahnda

Ayahnda,

Sewaktu Abang Syahidan marah-marah 

bawa kawan-kawan meluahkan tidak puas hati 

dengan penuh perasaan di hadapan pintu gerbang dulu .... 

adakah Ayahnda semurka begini juga ..???

Apakah Ayahnda lebih sayangkan Abang Syahidan ?

Bukankah kami juga anak-anak Ayahnda ?

:-|

When The Clothes Are Becoming Smaller and Smaller

I am fat now.

It's all because of the PKR downfall in Perak.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Of course,

I need to blame somebody or something

Don't I

?

:-|

The Dragon Is Impossible

Kedah V Arumugam has submitted his resignation, necessitating a by-election soon for the Bukit Selambau state seat.

It is learnt that Arumugam had decided to throw in the towel following tremendous pressure on him and his family to defect to B*ris*n N*sion*l.

source: Malaysiakini

You Malaysians had fed the baby dragon ever since he was born more than 50 years ago. You kept on feeding him even when he started to deceive and betray you. He grew to become the Monster he is now, impossible, spoiled and wild. You knew he was selfish, thinking only of himself. He never cared about you. He took many of your possession into his pocket and claimed his You kept on trusting him even when you knew he lied to you many many times. Its sad because you wanted so much to believe what you wanted to believe.

Its too late to tame him now. Even when you took away his five toys, he went crazy and berserk. He's hurt. Couldn't believe that you don't really want him anymore. Being a beast that he is, he is now doing many of the unthinkable unethical and beastly actions. Like many of the Crooks in the Malay movies, he is now laughing " Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha"

Its all your fault.





:-|

*MNO Menjunjung Daulat Tuanku

"Your Father's Head!!!"

(cuba terjemahkan ke bahasa Kedah)

Baru kamu akan rasa "feel" nya !

Perak Story

Agak susah bagi sesuatu parti yang dibina dan berasaskan kepentingan individu, tanpa matlamat yang lebih jitu dan utuh, untuk benar-benar berjaya. Apalagi bila logo parti juga berlukisan dari sebelah mata yang lebam. Seawal penubuhan lagi aku sudah merasakan hayat hidup yang tidak begitu lama dan pastinya akan menghadapi masaalah. 

Lebih bermasaalah lagi bila agenda peribadi dan dendam lama masih belum puas ditempiaskan. Semuanya semata-mata kerana mahu membuktikan 'beliau' mampu mengungguli kerusi pertama. Mahu menjelir lidah kepada "boss" lama bahawa "Aku tetap boleh jadi PM". Tergopoh gapah menepuk gendang menyangka ramai yang akan menyeberang. Modus Operandi yang dipakai menjatuhkan parti di Tanah Di Bawah Bayu satu masa dulu dan juga yang dipakai semasa tiada kesabaran mahu menjatuhkan No: 2 , rupanya tidak lagi boleh dipakai.

Aku juga merasakan antara punca ialah bila beberapa wakil yang dipilih untuk mewakili parti memperjuangkan hak rakyat sepertinya tidak begitu terperinci proses pemilihannya. Ada yang seperti tangkap muat sahaja. Dan ada yang dipilih juga masih belum teruji "track-record". 

Kadang orang membuat pilihan bukan kerana kamu itu hebat atau bagus. 

Ramai yang memilih alternatif yang disuakan kerana kebencianyang amat sangat dengan yang sedia ada.

Aduh, masih tidak mampukah membaca gerak lawan? Gerak teman dulu yang pernah bersama bawah satu selimut satu bantal. Bukankah ramai dari kamu orang mereka ? Sejarah sudah pernah menulis betapa kotor dan hinanya teknik yang boleh mereka gunakan. Mengapa masih juga tetap gagal  mengesannya ?

Aku sudah kata dulu, bukankah lebih baik menfokuskan 5 negeri tersebut. Tidak perlu lagi untuk bergendang menari bersorak untuk jadi Perdana Menteri. Sabarlah dulu. Buktikan dulu di lima negeri.

Tidak perlu juga menunding jari mengata musuh jahat

kerana itu memang hakikat

tetapi bolehkah ini terjadi  jika kubu sendiri KUAT ?

Ahh......Sayang seribu kali sayang. 

Negeri di tangan tergadai ke tangan orang.

:-|

Cikgu Tam My Grandmother

My grandmother asked me the same question "Ann baru balik kerja ka ni?" every 3 minutes and I would keep on giving the same answer everytime "Ya Tok".

Tok is about 84 years old now. She stays in bed all the time but still has the strenght to attend to her every other calling to the loo. She stays with Pak Ngah and family and I could never thank them enough for taking care of Tok.

There must be a reason why Allah takes some of our memories away when we grow old. How would we feel waking up at 80 to find that most of our friends have either passed away or bedridden. How would we feel knowing that our favourite grand daughter didn't turn up to visit us last week ? Its good that Tok forgets sometimes as there are things that might upset or hurt her had she finds out. Not that we should take advantage of that but acknowledging the way of life and its rule would at least make us feel less sorry for them.

:-|

Amni

Ni hah budak yang tanya aku:-

Kak Ann ni kaya ke sederhana ?

I m Not Afraid To Stand Alone

By Native Deen

Why cant we promote more of this to the Muslim teenagers ?

try to find their other song "Intentions"

pasti menusuk


:-|

Ask And You Shall Be Given

The power of asking

I never knew,

that if you're lucky,

 your room can be upgraded to a better one

just by asking !

(",)

Apakah Ertinya Ini ...?

Berjalan dengan membawa beg perjalanan
bersama beg tangan lagi

Tidak membawa backpack





Nasib baik tidak memakai kasut bertumit tinggi



Agaknya sudah sampai masa aku semakin matang dan dewasa


:-P

Doa Kami Bersamamu

Rembulan Menangis

Rembulan menangis
di serambi malam..
Intan buah hatimu dicabik tangan-tangan serigala

Bintang-bintang muram,
beku dalam luka ..
Untukmu saudaraku kami semua turut berduka

Lolong burung malam di rimba
melengking menyayat jiwa
Tangis kami pecah di batu
duka kami remuk di dada
Doa kami bersama-sama untukmu,
untukmu

Angin pun menjerit
badai bergemuruh..
Semuanya marah
hanya iblis terbahak, bersorak


Lolong burung malam di rimba
melengking menyayat jiwa
Tangis kami pecah di batu
duka kami remuk di dada
Doa kami bersama-sama untukmu
untukmu, untukmu, untukmu, untukmu

Ebiet G Ade


Apa yang kita sudah lakukan untuk membantu mereka ?

:-|

Apakah Bedanya .....?

Semuanya kan tetap sama

:-|

Kalau Nak Cari Barang Kawin Ajak Saya Ke Padang Besar

Ya, 

saya

How Much Do You Value Yourself

Sometimes I wonder how much do we really value ourselves ? Or do we even care to make evaluation of ourselves to find out our strengths and weaknesses. Trying to see ourselves from another point of view, comparing with others, to see the goodness in them so that we can learn to be more like them, and to also see their weaknesses so that we can check whether we also have the same traits in us and at the very least learn from their flaws.

Or maybe sometimes by doing this evaluation process we may find out that maybe we have over rated or undervalued our selves. Perhaps we have given too much credit for ourselves more than we deserve. Or may be we think too small of ourselves when we do actually have some potentials that we never bother to discover.

When we think too highly of ourselves we may lead ourselves to being arrogant overconfident conceited ... and people may not like that

But when we are so timid and think so small about our abilities, people may never see the potentials in us and if they are not nice they may step on you too .....

I hope to be able to asses more of myself and my potentials this year so that I may be a better person than before.

Selamat Maal Hijrah dan Selamat Tahun Baru

:-)

Happy Belated New Year

Blessed is the man who always kept the life after death in his view,
who remembered the Day of Judgment through all his deeds,
who led a contented life and who was happy
with the lot that Allah had destined for him

Imam Ali AS

:-|

Secret Recipe, I Aint Going For Your Cheesecake No More

 Yeehaaaa ... !

:-)

Kamu Percaya Bunian ?

Kalau kamu percaya Bunian ...

Adakah kamu juga percaya 'tahi' nya ....???

:-P

Apabila Anis Marahkan Kassim Selamat

Bila Anis baca entry pasal Kassim Selamat hari tu, dia terus jadi marah.

Untuk membuktikan bahawa pemain biola bukan bodoh seperti Kassim Selamat yang menggarpukan matanya itu, adik aku yang satu itu terus membeli biola dan mendaftarkan diri ke kelas musik.

Nanti kalau bakal ibu mertua Anis menjerit marahkan lelaki yang pilih Anis, 

Siapa Anis Awatif tu ???!!!

....lawyer ???!!! majistret ..???!!!

.... aku tak taulah bakal adik ipar aku tu nak jawab apa....

:-p

But My TV Is Too Small For My Game

I am a believer that the idiot box should not be the main star of a home. I always do. I dont want the box to get all the attention. It should be last in anyone's list of priorities when designing the interior of a house. That is why I didnt put the TV in the living room.... and thats why I bought a small one .... (never mind the tight budget reason)

But now .. since I ve been playing PS2 Cake Mania .... I am starting to think that the TV is too small for me to see the CAKES !

At times I cant even figure out what type of cakes the customers are asking ......

Sheshhh.....

ps: Even Hadie refuses to watch movies with my TV ... she said her laptop screen is much bigger than my TV .... !

True Colors

You don't get to see the real color of a person unless and until something happens.

And when things happen and the person shows you his real color, you get surprised and you baffled as to how come this person is behaving this way.

I guess its not that he has changed or anything. But you think he HAS changed because of the new circumstances or situations. The person now who you think has changed is the exact same person you've known before. He has never changed. Its just that there's a part inside of him that never got to the surface because the situations for that particular behaviour to submerge never arise.

Sometimes the signs were already there. The signs of some of his true colors. But we just ignore and chose to close one eye. The reason being, because we know we are not perfect either and we have our own flaws and rainbows of characters that never get to the stage too.

The thing now is if the colors are shown by the person, do we have the generosity to accept them ?


:-\

Bercakap Sendiri (Bukan Seperti Min)

Adakalanya kita merasa tidak begitu selesa dengan sesuatu keadaan
namun kita tidak mampu berbuat apa-apa apatah lagi untuk merubahnya
Ada hati yang perlu dijaga walau jiwa sendiri sangat tidak mampu menerimanya

Cuba untuk memberontak, tapi kita bukan lagi remaja
Hari-hari memberontak bukan lagi milik kita

Menjadi dewasa memang bukan yang menyenangkan
ada masa kita terpaksa menelan dan menghirup semua
sambil menahan diri daripada meluah dan/atau memuntah

Rasa yang benar di dalam hanya mampu disimpan semat di dada

Ada kalanya batasan ugama dan adat membuat dan memaksa-maksa kita rasa bersalah
dengan perasaan dan rasa kita sendiri,

lalu kita pun lebih mudah menghakim diri sebelum orang lain menghukum


:-|

Min

Masih ingat entry dulu bila si aku ditegur seseorang yang membuatkan aku rasa aku begitu muda ? Nama jejaka itu Min. Aku tahu namanya pun daripada mulutnya sendiri yang membahasakan dirinya sebagai Min.

Min bukanlah orang yang asing di sekitar kawasan ofis aku dan Pekan Rabu. Badannya agak gempal berambut lebat pendek dan agak berkerinting. Yang membuat dia agak menarik perhatian ialah kerana Min agak 'lembut' dan seksi. Seksi kerana t-shirt yang dipakainya akan digunting luas hingga menampakkan kedua-dua bahunya. Dan Min juga berjalan melenggang sambil bercakap seorang diri dengan satu beg plastik di tangannya.

Setelah beberapa minggu selepas sapaannya yang pertama itu, kami bertemu lagi. Kali ini kami berjumpa di tempat parking kereta ketika aku baru sahaja hendak melangkah keluar dari kereta. Min sedang berjalan menuju ke arah Masjid Zahir bila tiba-tiba dia terlihat aku dan terus menegur.

Kakak kan yang bagi kat Minduit hari tu ?

Aku hanya sekadar tersenyum dan mengangguk kepala

Tiba-tiba dia datang menghampiri aku yang masih lagi berada atas kerusi kereta. Sambil tertunduk-tunduk dengan meletakkan tangannya di atas lututnya Min bertanya serba sedikit pasal kerja aku dan tempat kerja aku. Kemudiannya Min meminta aku membawanya pergi ke Ipoh.

Kak, jomlah bawa Min pi Ipoh. Jomlah kita pi Ipoh ...

Sambil ketawa aku katakan pada Min

Eshh nak pi Ipoh buat apa...? Orang ada kerja nih ....

Adalah sebabnya Kak..
Min tak boleh nak habak .....
Jom lah ....
(dengan gaya agak sedikit gedik dan manja)

Min begitu beria-ia mengajak aku ke Ipoh. Agak sedikit mengada-ngada dan melentuk liuk cuba bermanja dan memujuk aku. Setakat mengajak aku ke Ipoh bukanlah begitu memeranjatkan aku bila dia kemdiannya telah melangkah agak jauh :-

Kak ambiklah Min jadi adik angkat Kak ... !!
Ambikla....

Aku terkedu dan tidak berkata apa-apa dan berfikir mengapalah benda-benda macam ni terjadi kepada aku...? Tidak pada Noora atau Hadie ataupun adik aku..... Aku rasa aku tidak perlu jawab permintaan 'gila'nya itu. Jika aku respon, pastilah aku juga seperti dia.

Bila melihat aku diam, Min meminta pula pada aku sedikit wang. Tanpa banyak soal aku pun memberikannya RM2. Min mengambil wang tersebut dengan terseyum sambil menjelaskan padaku:-

Kak, kak tau dak Min memang kena pi Ipoh ni...
Sebab depa kata Min tak boleh duduk sini dah.
Depa kata kalau Min dok sini Min nanti kena SULA

Aku rasa ada laaaa tu sapa-sapa yang usik bagi tau kat dia, sebab PAS dah perintah Kedah orang macam dia nanti kena sula.....

Min .... Min ..... Mudahkanlah hidupnya Ya Allah .

Siapa Kassim Selamat

Menyukai atau membenci...sebenarnya sangat peribadi dan begitu 'personal'. Ia tiada pernah ada kaitan dengan karakter asal seseorang.

Kamu benci seseorang kerana dia mungkin pernah menyakiti kamu walaupun akan ada ramai orang yang akan mempertahankan orang yang kamu benci itu dengan mengatakan dia sebenarnya baik

Kamu suka seseorang juga kerana ia ada kepentingan bagi kamu. Walaupun orangnya memang dibenci dan dihina orang, tetapi oleh kerana dia baik dengan kamu, kamu tiada masaalah dengannya.

Sebab itu kadang kita lihat dan tertanya-tanya mengapa seorang gadis sangat sayangkan seorang lelaki yang semua orang ketahui adalah seorang yang kita rasakan sangat tidak berguna. Kita akan cepat terus menghukum gadis itu atas kebodohannya yang kita rasakan sangat jelas memilih lelaki yang menjadi sampah masyarakat. Tetapi pada satu sisi yang lain kita tidak tahu betapa si sampah masyarakat itu lah yang selama ini yang berdiri teguh di belakang gadis itu, yang menerima dirinya seadanya, yang menjadi pendengar setia si gadis, yang berada di sisinya di saat si gadis sangat memerlukan.

Memang lelaki yang tadi itu tidak akan menjadi menantu pilihan, tetapi jika sekiranya dia datang meminang dengan membawa sebuah kereta yang hebat dan kemudian sering menghulur wang yang banyak kepada bakal mertua, pastilah bakal mertua tidak lagi akan memandang serong padanya kerana lelaki itu sekarang juga berkepentingan secara 'personal' dengan bakal mertua.

Seperti juga cerita Ibu Mertuaku yang bencikan Kassim Selamat. Yang dia marah bukan sebab Kassim Selamat tu "ahlil musik" per se. Dia marahkan sebab imej yang Kassim Selamat bawa kepadanya yang dia rasa amat memalukan bila bermenantu lelaki yang bukan Lawyer atau Magistrate. Ibu Mertuaku sebenarnya hanya pentingkan diri dan imejnya walaupun Sarimah dah berlari-lari anak dan sembamkan muka di bantal dan bergolek-golek atas katil dengan gediknya cintakan Kassim Selamat.

Tapi sebenarnya ada kebenarannya mengapa Ibu Mertuaku tak mahukan Kassim Selamat memandangkan Kassim Selamat tu memang bodoh kerana kemudiannya terbukti firasat seorang ibu bila Kassim Selamat dengan kejahilannya telah menggarpukan matanya hingga buta.

Mungkin Ibu Mertuaku sedar dan merasakan dari awal seorang Doktor atau Lawyer atau Magistrate tidak akan membutakan mata mereka dengan garpu.

Sekian.

Jack 'n' Jill Went Up The Hill

I finally join a cycling group, here in Jitra. They had been pestering me to join them for quite some times. Not that I wasn't interested, its just that I would be the only female in the group. Its not really the 'in' thing here in this small town to find a girl/lady/woman in a company of a group of men.

But after some thoughts, I said "Why not ?" as long as I know the boundaries ....

Actually they are MTB group. That's one of the reasons I decided to join them rather than the "roadies" . With my speed limit at 27km/h I think I wouldn't be left alone behind the pack because for MTBs even at 27km/h it is considered above average speed, I think.

The group has their cycling session at nite, taking the hilly route behind and around Jitra along the road of Tanah Merah to Bukit Wang and and sometimes the Guar Napai route, of which will only be around 30km. They would ride every other night without fail, subject to the weather, but still there are times when rain just cant stop them.

Ok. I m not really a strong cyclist and hills are not my usual playground. But with the group ,I have been introduced officially with this one steep hill. It was not really a proper introduction but rather more like a surprise encounter. That first night, I was cycling with only four of the group. The road was not that bad and since it was at night I couldn't really see whats in store at the front. I was coming down from a small hill and was really enjoying the descend when I started to feel some struggling pedalling. It was suddenly getting harder to push the pedal. I pushed and pushed but it was really difficult ... the boys told me to go slow, but I was not slowing, I was struggling to actually move because I had come to a halt.

"Bukit gila apa hampa bawa nih...?"

I had no choice but to unclip the pedal and get down from the bike. I had to push the bike and surrender the climbing.

The next day, out of curiousity I drove to that site of the hill to have a look and see what it was actually like.

Even the cars have to use first gear and motorbikes too have a hard time climbing this

"Masya Allah bukit ni depa nak suruh aku kayuh semalam !
Had it been daytime I wouldnt have climbed in the first place
I would have got down and walk !"

But still the look of the hill didn't scare me to try the climbing during my second session with the group. Tentulah tak boleh juga kan ... Aku bukan Aini.

During the third session, I was already praying "Ya Qawwiy, Ya Qawwiy" right from the corner before the road to the hill. And when I reached the hill, I could see the boys were already climbing. One of them stayed with me and was helping me on how to do it. I pushed and pushed with some encouragement from him

"Tekan lagi Ann, tekan kuat lagi ..."

..... I pushed and I could feel the heat building up inside my thigh and I pushed and tried to push, left and right, left and right ... and ... suddenly

eaokkkk ....eerrkkkkkk eahhhhhh ...

... BOOM ...

I fell down
(dengan penuh manja dan sopan gitu...)

together with my mentor behind who was following me closely .. We apparently had no time to unclip ! Alhamdulillah we didn't tumble down like Jack 'n' Jill.


So u see... I told you, hills are not my playground.

But secretly I hope to conquer that hill one day. Insya Allah.

Dear Passion,

Aku rasa aku semakin beku.

Ada sesuatu dalam diri aku yg semakin hilang.


Passion,

Aku tidak mahu kehilangan kamu. Kamu lah yang menjadikan aku, aku. Kamulah yang kadang membezakan aku dengan kawan-kawan aku yang lain. Kamu lah yang membuat aku ternanti-nanti sehingga satu saat adalah sangat lama bagi aku.

Kamu membuat aku bernafas segar setiap hari mengejar apa yang aku mahu.

Denganmu aku seperti tiada batasan waktu.

Jangan mati atau pergi dulu.

Sekian.

Yang benar,
Ann

p/s: Kamu tak perlu jawab surat ini.

Abah and Cik Zah

Anis called me this morning complaining about Abah again. Mak and Abah have been staying at Anis' place for more than a few weeks already. Not that Anis doesnt like them hanging around at her place (how can she with all the home cooked foods coming from Mak), but what she cant stand is the way Abah is treating Mak.

You see Abah loves Mak dearly but he can be so helpless when Mak is around. It seems that he can never do a single thing on his own. He always have Mak on his call.

Cik Zah, mana butang baju saya

Cik Zah Cik Zah macam mana nak buat ni ?

Cik Zah Cik Zah saya cari tak jumpa pun

Yes, Abah can never find ANYTHING in the house. And to some extend he can never DO anything too! Mak would always do EVERYTHING for him. From preparing his everyday shirts and pants, his "baju sembahyang", his socks, his towels, his everything. We grew up seeing all that and we all thought its NORMAL.

Hmm... but now since they are both getting older, we feel sympathy towards Mak. Anis especially can be very vocal with Abah. So whenever she hears Abah calling Mak for help, she wouldnt hesitate to snap Abah

Abah cuba lah buat sendiri !

Like this morning said Anis, Mak had prepared his bread for breakfast and all he got to do was put the bread in the toaster, and that too he couldnt do. Anis said she just couldnt take it. And Mak according to Anis, although at times complains about Abah, always gives in to his helplessness.

I told Anis, maybe thats what their relationship is all about. Perhaps thats Abah's way of being 'manja' with Mak and perhaps Mak deep down inside, enjoys that too. The feeling of being needed by the husband. Its like their own way of communicating their love to each other. And maybe we should never interfer that.

Alas, I think we all have our on ways of sustaining a relationship. Theres no standardize means and everybody would only be comfortable with their own routines. Be it by way of helplessness or bossy or bickering or whatever ... as long as both know they love each other despite the flaws.

After all, nobody's perfect.


:-P

Aku Mahu Jadi Photographer Yang Bagus

tapi kata Noora aku nih selalu

hangat-hangat tahi ayam

dan kata cK

hot hot chicken shit

Its Not Easy To Do Good Sometimes

When you want to help another person, you just have to also accept the baggage that can come with the help. It's not easy you know sometimes to do good, to be 'ikhlas'. Because 'ikhlas' is something unseen, nobody can know whether you re being 'ikhlas' or not.

A friend is being charitable with this one poor family, a single mother with a few children. This friend of mine decided one day to donate some money to the family. She even went to the extend of going to the house to have a look at their living condition. It was quite an uneasy visit when the single mother's mother pestered my friend for more money. My friend even bought them a bicycle for the son to go to school. When her daughter was going to get married, the single mother came to my friend's office to borrow some money for the wedding. My friend was hesitant but relented so as not to disappoint one's hope and wish. The single mother even promised to pay back the money once her daughter gets a job. To this day my friend has not seen the money.

So you think the single mother would back off a bit for not paying the money. No, she called my friend every month as if demanding for her salary. My friend was starting to get annoyed and irritated. It is hard to be 'ikhlas' when you re being harassed like that. But I guess thats the way Allah determins your sincerity in doing good. Its like a test Allah puts to see whether you really mean what you say or what you intend to do.

So as to minimize her annoyance of being disturbed every month, my friend now asks from the single mother to open up an account so that she can put the money in the bank. She gave some money and asked the lady to go straight to the bank to open an account and come back with a photocopy of the bank's account book. The lady went off and never came back until a month later.

She gave the photocopy of the account book and within an hour later ringed my friend asked her "Bila nak masuk duit nih, kak dah pi tengok kat bank, duit tak masuk lagi pun"

So how...????

Malam Ini Dari Opera Mini

Bila kita mahu berenang
Swimming pool tutup

Bila kita mahu berbasikal
Kawan-kawan kita kata malam esok

Bila kita mahu berlari
Kita rasa tak sedap di perut

...Jadi kita pakai baju renang dgn helmet basikal dan sarung kaki .... Kita buat semuanya di atas katil kita sendiri........

*Andeh.... Bukan saya saja yang gila*


;-p

MOODY

MOOD pun macam IMAN

ada turun naik



:-|

Popo DiTangkap Khalwat

Mentang-mentang lah hensem

Apa kurangnya saya ?
Kenapa masih mempertahankan dia ?

Adakah cara dia ramas perut lebih best...???

Ini lah gambar-gambar Popo yang 'orang ketiga' tu kasi
sebagai bukti skandal mereka ketika ketiadaan aku......

*Huh*